2 REASONS WHY PARENTS FAIL

You may not know this, but I’m a father of 3. I have 2 sons, and 1 daughter. Parenting is not only extremely rewarding, but it’s also an incredible learning experience.

In addition to being a father for some years, I’ve also done extensive research into the art of parenting.

This is what I’ve learned…

The most important single role of parenting is to love and nurture your children and to build in them feelings of high self-esteem and self-confidence. If you raise your children feeling terrific about themselves, if you bring them up full of eagerness to go out and take on the world, then you have fulfilled your responsibility in the highest possible sense.

Why Parents Don't Love Enough

There are two major reasons for the failure by parents to love their children enough. First, the parents do not love themselves. Parents with low self-esteem have great difficulty giving more love to their children than they feel for themselves. The second reason that parents don't love their children enough is they often have the mistaken notion that their children exist to fulfil their expectations.

Children are Not Property

The starting point of raising super kids is to realize that your children are not your property. Your children belong to themselves. They are a gift to you from high above, and a temporary gift at that.

Children are a Precious Gift

When you look at your children as precious gifts that you can only enjoy for a short time, you see your role as parents differently. When you celebrate and encourage the special nature and personality of your child, he or she grows like a flower in sunshine. But if you try to get your child to be something he or she is not, your child's spirit will wither, and his or her potential for happiness and joy will shrivel like a leaf on a tree in autumn.

Love Makes the Difference

The most important consideration in raising super kids is the amount of love they receive. Children need love like flowers need water. A continuous flow of love and approval from the parent to the child is the child's lifeline to emotional and physical health. Love deprivation is surely the most serious problem that a child can suffer during his or her formative years.

Unconditional Love and Acceptance

Make it clear to your child that nothing he or she does could ever cause you to love him or her less than 100%. The most wonderful gift you can give your child is the absolute conviction that you love him or her completely, without reservation, no matter what he or she does and no matter what happens.

Praise and Encouragement

Give your children continual praise and encouragement for the positive things they do, even small things. Praise and reinforce what you would like to see repeated. Praise them to build their self-esteem and self-confidence.

Action Exercise

Ask yourself what it would be like to be your own child. Put yourself in the position of your child or your children, and then evaluate yourself as a parent. What are your strengths and weaknesses? What do you do well and what do you do poorly? What are some of the things that you do that might be causing your children to grow up with lower self-esteem than you would like? 

IT'S TIME TO USE YOUR PERSONAL POWER

Most of the world’s truly great people will never be known.
You and I will not hear of them and no one will write their
biographies. Fortunately, fame and greatness are not the
same thing.
Most of us will never be famous and it’s unlikely anyone
will write our biography. But that has nothing whatever to
do with greatness! All of us want to achieve. Whether our
goals are to make more money, to have more time with loved
ones or to achieve some other goal, the thing my readers

have in common is the desire to be, do and have
more than today.
And, of course, we all have greatness within us. Every one
of us is born to make a difference, to play our part, and
transform our corner of the world. We all--every single one
of us--has the potential to live with joy and gusto and
greatness. Why do so many of us settle for small problems,
and small lives?
I think we fail to use our personal power.
Because we are not powerful on the world stage, we forget
that we have tremendous power in our choices. We may not be
rich or famous but we have the power to live with dignity
and integrity and ambition. We have the power to smile, to
try, to persist. We have the power to read and learn, to
pick ourselves up and try again, perhaps in a new and
smarter way. We have the power to be loving, to be kind,
and the infinite power to create.
We have the power to choose how we live our lives.
My sense is that it helps to have a big dream. My father
always told us that if we were going to dream, we might as
well dream BIG dreams. I think it matters what we expect in
life. I think it helps to imagine the best and focus our
thoughts, our attention and our intention on big dreams.
But I also think it’s vital that we not be distracted by
our own dreams. It's helpful and fun to aim for the sky, so
long as we realize that even the biggest dreams happen one
step at a time. The world's tallest skyscrapers are build
one rivet at a time. Oprah Winfrey built her empire one
interview, one decision at a time. "A journey of a thousand
miles starts with a single step."
Both Nelson Mandela and Marianne Williamson have been
credited with the insight that our greatest fear is not
that we are powerless, but that (in fact!) we are powerful
beyond measure. Whoever said it first, it's true.
We are powerful beyond measure! We have the power to change
our world any time we choose. Use your power! Give a smile
to someone who needs one. Get up a bit earlier, or work a
bit longer, stand a bit taller.
High achievers use their personal power. They get up early.
They exercise. They make key phone calls. They read great
books. They monitor their time, their nutrition, their
investments, their relationships. And so can you! These are
the "little things" that create big results!
Use your power every single day! Hug someone one, or call a
friend. Do it today, not tomorrow or "someday." Use your
power to take a hike, read to a child or make one more
sales call. Set aside an hour to read a book, practice a
new skill or invite a mentor to lunch. Today, initiate some
action that, if repeated over time, will take your life in
the direction you want to go.
For the month of August, make a promise that you will use
your power every single day. Choose a few key areas and
commit that each day you will take specific actions to move
forward. Remember the clich�that "mighty oaks from tiny
acorns grow." The world’s strongest athletes started with a
few sit-ups or push-ups. The world’s great fortunes often
began with one small investment. Use your power! Whatever
you have and wherever you are, begin and persist.

WHERE THE ACORNS ARE?

About mid-morning, I turned on the Internet
to learn a Malaysian jet was shot down over
Ukraine. The pictures were vivid and the reporters had
anxious voices. Then, as I tried to absorb that tragedy,
about 11:00 my time, Israel invaded the Gaza Strip.
Reporters broke in to show flares in the night sky and
explosions on the ground. They wore flak jackets and
helmets and sounded frightened as they gave blow-by-blow
details, "up close and personal," in my own living room.
I could have sworn it was just yesterday we were on edge
about fighting in Syria, Iraq and kidnapped girls in
Nigeria. Or, maybe it was the crisis on the Texas border,
problems with the Veterans Administration or global
warming. Something awful like that.
So which is it? War and rumors of war. Death and
destruction falling from the sky. Conflict, scandal, crisis
and turmoil? Or, as Neil Armstrong once reported from the
surface of the moon, am I writing from Tranquility Base?
I often quote the line from Anais Nin, that "We don't see
life as it is, we see life as we are." It gives me comfort
and reminds me I am responsible for the quality of my life.
Based on the news, the world is in trouble. People are
dying. We seem to be violent creatures with endlessly
inventive ways to destroy each other. But, if I watch the
squirrel scurrying through my Oak trees, life is focused,
acrobatic, industrious and a tad humorous. Or, judging by
Tucker on the chair next to me, life is relaxed and
content, dreaming of tennis balls and trips to the park.
Which is it? Is your glass half-full or half-empty?
As I was driving this week, I half-heard Glenn Beck on the
radio. I wasn't paying much attention so I may not remember
this correctly, but he said something about turning away
from the news and politics and conflict. He described his
family, his home and ranch, and the work he does, and I
believe he talked about turning away from the world "out
there" to focus on the things that bring him joy.
While I didn't pay enough attention at the time, I've
pondered his words ever since.
Each of us has a life to live. It is ours, and only ours.
No one can live it for us, and we cannot live anyone else's
life for them. It is up to me to find, build and live the
life I want, or go to my grave wondering what "might have
been."
There are a thousand--perhaps millions!--of reasons to
procrastinate. "They" won't understand or approve. We might
make mistakes. We could get hurt. We don't--and never will-
-know enough. I remember my father saying, "When you
don't want to do something, any excuse is good enough."
But little kids know better. They want what they want. If
they want a cookie, they'll find a way! If they do not want
to go to bed or eat their veggies, I can pretty much
guarantee the adults are going to lose that argument. It's
only as we grow up that we lose that courage and wisdom and
independence. We learn to "go along to get along."
There are lots of legitimate, serious-sounding reasons to
hold yourself in check. The economy is not good. There are
wars, uncertainty, turmoil and conflict. Your Aunt or your
neighbor, perhaps your spouse will disapprove. We all have
our reasons for holding back. For playing safe and small.
But in each of us there is this thing, this spirit, that
longs to fly. It may be a "still, small voice" that calls
to us, or it may be a yearning in the breast, or a dream in
the early morning hours. Like a kid, it wants what it
wants.
Listen to that voice! That squirrel in my Oaks doesn't know
how high he is or that he should be very, very afraid. He
goes for the acorns! I think Anais Nin was right, "We don't
see the world the way it is, we see the world the way we
are." I'm recommitting to be more of a squirrel, to go out
to the very tips of the branches, where the fat, succulent
acorns are. And what I feast I shall have!
I invite you to join me. Where the acorns are.

BE REALISTIC: THERE IS NO LIMIT TO WHAT YOU CAN DO

Have you ever thought about what you could do, if you really decided to?
I’m not merely talking about what your skills, education and talents are capable of. I’m talking about what is really possible for you.
There is a very real possibility that you can do virtually anything. Not alone, not with out new information, but certainly within your ultimate grasp.
Now many people would say to me, “be realistic. Some things are just not possible.” To them I say, a realist is simply a pessimist who doesn’t want to admit it. I’ve never heard a “realist” take an optimistic posture on any topic. They always say, “Let’s be realistic.” and then go on to explain why your idea can’t be done.
Imagine a realist saying, “Realistically, we don’t yet know what the possibilities are. This could be easier than we think!” Better, eh?
One thing I have learned over the years is that luck really does come to those who commit to a goal. Scientists and philosophers call it “synchronicity.” It is when things come together in an unexplainable way to help you reach your destination. Sometimes you just happen to meet someone who has the answer you need or shares your interests. At other times it is written off as “timing” or blind luck.
I don’t see it that way. I believe that there are some universal principles at work which most people miss. There have been references to this phenomenon in philosophical and religious literature throughout history. Without waxing poetic, here is what goes on.
When any person makes a decision to bring about a certain outcome, the entire universe starts the process of making it happen. As long as the person persists in the belief that they are creating the desired result, the process continues. When doubt, hatred, or fear dominate the person, the process stops and other forces direct the world’s energies in other positive directions. This is why there is “power” in positive thinking.
Sometimes we express a strong desire and the result occurs immediately. We call this a miracle. At other times we strive long and hard without visible progress. The operative word there is “visible”. There are too many elements in the world for us to be conscious of how they all interact. But the moment we decide to do what it takes to create a result, the universe bends toward us to assist. This continues unless we do something to stop the process.
That is why I say there is nothing you can’t do. There are things that might not be worth doing but almost anything can be done somehow. To do such things requires a certain state of mind. It requires optimism, determination, clarity, love for all mankind and humility. Optimism is the only productive way to think. Not pollyanna blind faith in spite of the facts, just the continuing belief that there is a way and that you will ultimately find it. Determination is to do what is necessary even if it is not convenient, if you are not in the mood, if it takes more than you expected, and if it is not fair, meaning that you have to contribute more than others.
Clarity of focus is essential in order to activate things in your favor. So goal setting in writing is essential to get things going. The clearer your focus, the more compelling your influence becomes. When you believe unflinchingly in your cause, others will be drawn to you.
Love of all humanity means respect for the dignity of and sensitivity to the needs of others. Contrary to Gordon Gekko’s line in the movie Wall Street, greed does not work, because it separates you from others. Only love and respect will connect you to all who might ultimately help.
And finally, humility. The biblical way of expressing this thought is, “Not my will, but Thine, be done.” If we realize how little we know, we will be a lot more humble. Emerson said, “Desire is possibility seeking expression.” If you truly want something, the possibility of it surely exists. That does not mean that it is a good idea for you. It just means that it could happen. But if you are dedicated to achieving something deeply and sincerely, then it is incumbent upon you to pursue it.
Where the problems arise is when we decide that we already know what it will take to do the job. Far too many variables exist for us to really “know” what it takes in any instance. So we must move forward based on what we know, while listening to the messages the world is sending us. We sometimes find that an even better outcome is available to us through a simple change in direction. At other times we simply need to learn the lesson life has to teach us at a given point and then move on in a new direction. We never know how valuable that life lesson will be later on as we pursue a greater goal.
So I encourage you to be realistic, there is no limit to what you can do.