HOW IS YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH MONEY?

Money is one of the most emotional subjects on the planet. In fact, many people feel comfortable sharing intimate details about their sex lives than sharing details about their finances. Some people find it easy to make money, while others struggle. It’s  not because they are more intelligent, necessarily work harder nor have better luck, it’s simply because they think and act differently they have a better relationship with money. Trying to live a rich life, when you have a poor relationship with money is like trying to drive a car with one foot for the clutch, brakes and accelerator. No matter how hard you try, you never seem to get anywhere. Let me take you back in history. A thousand years ago, shells were used in exchange for food or labor but as trade became more complex, shells were replaced with precious metals. Then IOU’s-coins and pieces of paper.

Governments printed these monies and places valued on them. From an inherent standpoint, compared to precious metal or even agricultural produce, money is not valuable. What is valuable is the value we place on money. At birth, our mind is a clean slate, programmed genetically to do certain things. This includes the basics of movement and communication. A young child does not know enough to rely on his sense of reasoning. His critical faculties just cannot take him there. He does not possess the ability to question, judge, analyze, criticize and more importantly compare. That is why it’s so convenient for him to believe in Santa Claus or Father Christmas, Barney and Superman, until he grows up and fully takes control of his mind.

Until we take control of our minds, our beliefs about ourselves and the world come from the continued messages we hear in the first years of our lives. What we are told again and again particularly at times of emotional intensity has the most powerful effect. This is where many people get wrong notions about money.

‘Money corrupts’, ‘Money is evil’, There is not enough money to go around’, ‘You must always work hard before you can make money’ – are just a few of these misguided notions. If you believe you always have to work hard before you can make money. Then you will look only for jobs that require a lot of effort. If you are always paranoid and believe people will always rip you off, you will miss good money opportunities and in the end someone actually will rip you off I mean. If you believe you deserve to make money, you will indeed end up making money. However, first, you need to overhaul your money mind set. Many of us have inherited a mixed bag of positive and negative beliefs about money, one of which is resenting people who earned their wealth. People who did not have to sacrifice their family time, health or morally deficient things to make money at all costs. For what use will all the money be if you had no time to spend it. If you don’t have health, you don’t have anything. If you give up your family for wealth, you are the poorest person on the face of the earth.

But there are people who attained a wealthy status not falling prey to all these things. You need to give up your resentment towards these people who have more money than you. Find out how they did it.

1. Lose that ‘the-rich-only-get-richer-and-if-i-must-win-others-must-lose’ nonsense. The simple fact is if you dislike those who have a legal claim to their wealth; it will be difficult being one of them.
2. Money is not a measure of personal value. Wealthy people make themselves and all those around them better with money. Catering for your loved ones, parents, siblings whenever they have a financial need is nothing special. Do not beat your chest that you have ‘arrived’ in that regard. You are simply fulfilling your family responsibilities. Provide for those who are not part of your family tree. Give to those you do not expect a return. That my dear friend is WEALTH.
3. Avoid committing yourself to a future lifestyle based on your current income. Avoid debt. If you want to avoid the debt trap, keep your fixed expenses as low as possible. Do not make financial commitments to income you have not earned yet. Many people want to get out of debt. Once they save money by not spending, they go out to reward themselves by what…you guessed it shopping or buying ‘an-in-between present’ they don’t need – putting themselves right back where they started. If you must get out of debt, you must realize getting out of debt and not spending is the wrong goal. Same thing as wanting to lose weight and not eating at all. What you should do in both cases is reduce just how much you eat and spend and be disciplined about it.