STRICKLY BUSINESS: NETWORKING FOR FUN AND PROFIT

There's an old saying that "it's who you know that counts" and for better or worse, it's often true.Yes, there is a cynical aspect to the phrase, referring to favoritism that is unfortunate. More often, however, people get the referral or the promotion precisely because (in a positive sense) of "who they know." Knowing and liking someone makes a difference.
When it comes to networking, however, I've noticed two unfortunate patterns that are generally NOT helpful:
First is the person (to be honest, it's usually a male) who views networking as some strange contest to see who can trade the most business cards in the shortest period of time. In extreme cases, there's an uncomfortable energy that is a huge turn-off. Their quick handshake, exaggerated smile and exchange of business cards is usually a waste of time.
The second is the person who attends networking functions but fails to connect in a meaningful way. Often they spend the entire time chatting with a friend, and leave without meeting anyone new, or making any lasting impressions.
Effective networking means connecting with a few people in an honest, sincere way that suggests you would like to help them if you can, and would appreciate the other person's support in exchange. Get to know people. Call them up, go to lunch, and if appropriate, certainly exchange business cards! But what you're looking for is a relationship. Get to know a few people well, rather than collecting dozens of cards from strangers. Follow-up with a phone call. And for goodness sake, if you can, be sure to send some business to the other person. Nothing will grow your own referral business like the gratitude of people who have benefited from your genuine support.

THE FUNDAMENTALS OF SUCCESS

In life, and in business, there are only a few fundamentals that make life work out well, and they have never changed. Too often we pretend that technology and education have created "new rules" or that modern systems permit us to cut corners and find short-cuts that didn't exist in the past. While there may be examples where that is true, in general, I don't believe it.The fundamentals of living well, achieving our dreams and creating wealth have not changed. The path to success today is remarkably similar to the path walked by generations past.What are the basics? You might have your own list, but I would suggest at least the following:
1. Personal Integrity. Socrates recommended, "Know thyself" and Shakespeare added, "to thine own self be true." Knowing who we are, what we value and making sure that our words and actions match is fundamental. Doing unfulfilling work or living in an environment that doesn't suit us will surely undermine our long-term success. Too many of us live "lives of quiet desperation" and that is NOT a foundation on which to build a life!
2. Clear Thinking. Many of us grew up in the "feel good" generation and we are confused about the role of thought (education, planning, skills and tools) verses emotion. We let our hopes, wishes, fears, or "hang-ups" run our lives. High achievers take time to think clearly, seek expert advice, plan wisely, and learn from the mistakes of others. The Old Testament says that "wisdom comes from a multitude of advisors." Some strategies just work better than others. Buildings are always designed and "blueprinted" in advance. Our lives should be designed just as carefully.
3. Unfailing Optimism. This is not shallow "positive thinking", but a clear-headed, conscious faith in the future and in your own potential. "Where there is a will, there is a way," or as Hannibal said over 2000 years ago, "We will find a way, or make one." High achievers believe in their skills, in their plans, and in their futures. They forge ahead with confidence built on integrity and careful planning.
4. Hard Work. Ben Franklin observed, "Early to bed, early to rise makes a man (or woman) healthy, wealthy and wise." I've heard people say achievement should be "effortless" and I agree that sometimes enormous amounts of work can flow easily and quickly, but I also know that creating a great life usually requires dedication, personal discipline, attention to detail, and effort. 5. Patience and Persistence. A great life is rarely built in a day. It takes time develop a life of one's own. There will be mistakes and wrong turns along the way, and highly successful people are neither surprised nor disheartened by this. They simply get a good night's sleep and start again in the morning. They learn from their mistakes, correct them, and move on with better skills and more effective strategies.There are more fundamentals than we have room for here, but they have not changed, and there are no "new" fundamentals! Creating a great life does not take extraordinary luck, unusual talent or skill. Building a great life does, however, require that we follow the "rules" that make life work out well. The fundamentals are not sexy or exciting or sophisticated, but they are tried and true. Use them to create the life you truly want.

Quotes of the Week
"In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing. The worst thing you can do is nothing." -- Theodore Roosevelt

"In each of us are places where we have never gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them." -- Dr. Joyce Brothers

"Man is so made that when anything fires his soul, impossibilities vanish." -- Jean De La Fontaine

"Most of the things worth doing in the world have been declared impossible before they were attempted." -- Earl Nightingale

THE SEVEN DEADLY ROADBLOCKS TO SUCCESS

When traveling down the road it is always good to beware of roadblocks! You don’t want to crash and burn do you? The same is true in our journey toward success. We need to beware of those things that will keep us from our destination!
What are the most common? Here they are:
1. Fear. Fear is one of the worst enemies of success. When fear wraps its tentacles around you and keeps you in bondage, you will never be able to reach for your dreams. We must confront our fears, see them for what they are, toss them to the side, and pursue our dreams with relentless passion. Conquering fear and stepping forward to reach new lands and new ideas is what makes success possible. What are you afraid of today? What fear must you conquer to be able to achieve your dream? When you realize what it is, take an action that is diametrically opposed to that which you fear. This will confront and conquer the fear by giving you the first step in the right direction.
2. Lethargy. Quite frankly, what keeps most people from success is that they simply don’t have the energy, or make the energy, to do what it takes to move to the next level. They get to a point that is comfortable and then they settle in for a nice, life-long nap! Don’t get lethargic; get going! Force yourself to wake up from the slumber and move!
3. Lack of perseverance. Often times the race is lost because the race is not finished. Success is often just around the sharpest corner or the steepest hill. Persevere. Keep going. One more hill. One more corner! In real estate they say the three most important things are “location, location, location.” In success the three most important things are “perseverance, perseverance, perseverance.”
4. Pessimism. The saying is that you can achieve what you believe. Ask yourself what kinds of beliefs you hold. Are you an optimist or a pessimist? If you don’t believe that you can achieve than you won’t. Your pessimism will prove yourself right every time. You will find that you subconsciously undermine yourself. Develop your optimism. Look for ways to believe that you can achieve success.
5. Not taking responsibility. I am the chaplain for the local police department. The other day I went with an officer as he took two prisoners to court. Time after time the prisoners made excuses as to why they hadn’t yet done what the judge had ordered (she didn’t buy it, by the way). After dropping the prisoners off, I said to the officer that unsuccessful people and prisoners have the same bad habit – they won’t accept responsibility for their lives. You are responsible. When you accept that, you are on the road to success.
6. Picking the wrong people to hang out with. We can easily become products of our environment. This is why it is essential to hang around people who will spur you on not hold you back! What about the people you have surrounded yourself with? Are they quality people who will encourage you and strengthen you in your quest for success? If not, move on!
7. No vision. Those who succeed always see their success months and years before they live it. They have the ability to look ahead, see the future, imagine the good that can and will come from their lives, families and work. To not have vision is a tremendous roadblock. Sit down and work on seeing the future – and make it good!

THE POWER OF THE TONGUE

There is an old proverb with a lot of wisdom. It says, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and whoever loves it will eat its fruit.”
It is so true. What we say has the ability to create situations, emotions, and thoughts in others. A kind word helps people, negative words hurt – sometimes for a very long time.
Most of the time we think of this concept in relation to how we treat others and that is good. In fact, I wrote an article in the last month or so called “The Power of Praising People.” If you missed it, you can get it at the website.
But here I want to talk about this concept in relation to ourselves. How does what we say affect us? Tremendously. There is a simple principle here. Only say things that will create in you positive emotions, thoughts, feelings, and ultimately, actions.
Let me give you a good example. We do not allow the words “I can’t” in our house. Why? Because we CAN! The very minimum is “I’ll try.” We ask our kids to say “I’ll try.” If we allow our kids, or ourselves, to fall into the trap of saying “I can’t,” guess what? We won’t! And that’s not good, is it?
Do you tell yourself negative thoughts during the day? Most of us can fall into that temptation, can’t we? I was working the other day and I was brewing over something bad that had happened and I was just getting bent out of shape. So I stopped, realized I had the power to choose what I was saying to myself and began to think about and tell myself good things. And my day changed for the better.
Have you ever been in your backswing on the golf course and said to yourself, “I am going to shank this one.” What happens? You shank it. This actually happens to me. So what do I do? I stop my backswing, reset myself, and tell myself I am going to hit it straight down the fairway. What happens? About half the time I hit it straight, the other half, I shank it, but increasing your ability is a future article! At the very least I increase my chances of performing better. Bad thoughts almost guarantee my failure, while good thoughts increase my chances for success dramatically.
A salesman may see someone walk through his door and say to himself, “I’m not going to be able to make this sale.” I can’t. I won’t.
Some of us aren’t even aware that we talk negatively to ourselves. Take some time today to think about what you say to yourself. Maybe ask a close friend if you have this habit. If you find yourself doing this, it is time to change!
Now, don’t get me wrong. Self-talk is not a substitute for effort and ability, but it is a strong helping factor. Find some simple phrases that will help you get through the day with more success. Whatever your situation or work is, I am sure there are specific things you can say that will build you up and stick you on the road to success!
The words that you use and the conversations you have with yourself create things in you. They can create positive things or negative things. It is our choice. The tongue has the power of life and death. This is why it is so important to be diligent in using the power of the tongue to create a positive force in our lives.
Remember, your tongue has power. Use it!

THE FOUR P's OF PERSUASION

Perception Is Everything
There are four "Ps" that will enhance your ability to persuade others in both your work and personal life. They are power, positioning, performance, and politeness. And they are all based on perception.
1. Develop Personal Power
The first "P" is power. The more power and influence that a person perceives that you have, whether real or not, the more likely it is that that person will be persuaded by you to do the things you want them to do. For example, if you appear to be a senior executive, or a wealthy person, people will be much more likely to help you and serve you than they would be if you were perceived to be a lower level employee.
2. Shape Their Thinking About You
The second "P" is positioning. This refers to the way that other people think about you and talk about you when you are not there. Your positioning in the mind and heart of other people largely determines how open they are to being influenced by you. In everything you do involving other people, you are shaping and influencing their perceptions of you and your positioning in their minds. Think about how you could change the things you say and do so that people think about you in such a way that they are more open to your requests and to helping you achieve your goals.
3. Be Good At What You Do
The third "P" is performance. This refers to your level of competence and expertise in your area. A person who is highly respected for his or her ability to get results is far more persuasive and influential than a person who only does an average job.Commit to ExcellenceThe perception that people have of your performance capabilities exerts an inordinate influence on how they think and feel about you. You should commit yourself to being the very best in your field. Sometimes, a reputation for being excellent at what you do can be so powerful that it alone can make you an extremely persuasive individual in all of your interactions with the people around you. They will accept your advice, be open to your influence and agree with your requests.
4. Treat People Politely
The fourth "P" of persuasion power is politeness. People do things for two reasons, because they want to and because they have to. When you treat people with kindness, courtesy and respect, you make them want to do things for you. They are motivated to go out of their way to help you solve your problems and accomplish your goals. Being nice to other people satisfies one of the deepest of all subconscious needs, the need to feel important and respected. Whenever you convey this to another person in your conversation, your attitude and your treatment of that person, he or she will be wide open to being persuaded and influenced by you in almost anything you need.
Perception Is Reality
Again, perception is everything. The perception of an individual is his or her reality. People act on the basis of their perceptions of you. If you change their perceptions, you change the way they think and feel about you, and you change the things that they will do for you.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:
First, think continually about the impression you want to make on others and then make sure that everything you do or say is consistent with that perception.
Second, be nice to people. Practice the Golden Rule in your interactions with others. Always be polite and make others feel important.The more people like you, the more open they are to being influenced by you.

THE OPPORTUNITY CLOCK

When I was in college, I heard someone say something that has been with me ever since. It was something that demonstrated to me a positive attitude and the choice to take something that most people dread, and change it into a motivating factor.
He called the alarm clock the “opportunity clock.”
When does an alarm go off? When something bad is happening! Well, waking up isn’t bad. Waking up is good! In fact, waking up is an opportunity. Each new day brings with it the opportunity to enjoy our families and other people. It enables us the opportunity to work hard, and earn a living that will enable us in turn to provide for others and ourselves. Each day brings us the opportunity to help others and serve them in such a way to make our communities better places. We get the opportunity again to dream and achieve those dreams. We have the opportunity to bask in the glory at the top of the mountain or learn valuable lessons as we walk through the valley. What opportunities!
It’s all in the perspective and attitude folks. I bet you can’t wait to go to bed tonight and set your opportunity clock for tomorrow morning!

THE ARENA OF SUCCESS

"The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement; and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly." Theodore Roosevelt

I Am - the Arena of Values
I Should – the Arena of Responsibility
I Could - the Arena of Possibility
I Would - the Arena of Negotiation
I Want To - the Arena of Vision
I Will - the Arena of Dedication
I Do - the Arena of Accomplishment
In this article we are going to be looking at the “Arenas” that every person, organization, or business can operate out of. They are Values, Responsibility, Possibility, Negotiation, Vision, Dedication, and Accomplishment. The degree of our success is directly related to the degree in which we excel in and balance these arenas. As you go through each segment, think practically, because these are intended to be more than intellectual ideas. They are intended to help you solidify them into your life and turn your potential into performance. Though this article is specific to business and industry, the principles here are easily translated into personal application.
I Am - The Arena of Values.
Every person, organization and business has values. They may not know what they are, or they may not be able to articulate what they are, but they have them. The values of a business are what they believe in. What do they think is important? What do they hold as dear to the organization? Customer satisfaction is a simple value that a business may hold, for example. What a company values will affect the way the business runs and the employees act and work, so it is important to know what your business values are. Here are some questions for you to ask. I would encourage you to involve as many top-level people in this process as possible, as well as others, even down to the lowest levels of the organization.
1. What do we think is important?
2. What do we hope to accomplish?
3. What do we believe in as we go about our work?
Another item to deal with is Values Dissonance. That is when you state your values and find that they are not in action in the company. This then, takes teamwork and leadership to make sure that everybody is on the same page with your corporate values. The first step in a successful organization, or for your own life for that matter, is to determine your values. I would encourage you to spend some time on this if you haven’t already. And if you have, continue to make sure that everybody in the organization knows and believes in them.
Two excellent books on the subject are Leadership Jazz, and Leadership Is An Art, both by Max DuPree. Is there clear indication in your place or work that you are operating in the Arena of Values? Can you say without a doubt that “I Am,” or “We Are”? Hopefully you can, and if not, you can be, with a little work.
I Should – The Arena of Responsibility
I understand that responsibility is in some people’s minds a four-letter word, but not in those who want to achieve true, lasting success that benefits not only themselves, but a great number of people around them. Those who would lead the way to accomplishment must also understand that they have responsibilities. And the man or woman of honor, integrity, and success, lives up to those responsibilities. So what are these responsibilities that we must live by? While I want to encourage you to think about them specifically for your own life and business, there are a few that I believe are for all of us.
1. To be a person and company of high integrity. Ultimately, we are only a success to the degree that we are honorable people. This means that we are honest, hard working, and forthright. I don’t think it matters how much money one accumulates if the are not a person of integrity.
2. To live by the “golden rule.”And the golden rule isn’t what one of my best friends grew up thinking it was: He who has the gold, makes the rules! No, it is that we will treat others as we want to and expect to be treated.
3. To our families.Regardless of the work we do, it is of utmost importance that our families sit atop the priority list. Sometimes I think of all the people I help and work so hard for day by day and realize that none of them will be at my side when I breathe my last breath. My wife and children will fill those spots. Therefore, they get the most from me. I owe it to them. They are important to me and it is my responsibility to be there for them, no matter what my opportunities are elsewhere.
4. To give to charity.The more you hear from me, the more you will realize that I am big on the idea of charity. I think one of the things that rounds us out as healthy, successful people is to give away money, time, and possessions, free of all strings. Simply give it away to a cause that you believe in. Make it big. Make it a sacrifice. Instead of a $10 check every now and then, put it into your budget to give away a certain amount every month. At first you will think it is impossible but it will come around. And one of the great benefits to this is that at the end of your life, you will be able to look back and see the difference you have made.
These are just a few areas, but they are the umbrellas that cover the rest of our lives. If we get these right, we are 95% there.
I Could – The Arena of Possibility
Now we cover the arena of possibility.
It seems to me that many businesses, and schools and organizations often get so caught up in the day to day that they lose their zest for life. They get the nose to the grindstone, and may even be doing important work, but they forget to dream. They forget to think of what could be. (for more on achieving your dreams, see my article “Dare to Dream Again) How is your business in the arena of possibility? What would happen if at your next staff meeting, whether you have 30 people or it’s just you and your partner, you asked the question “What could we really do if we put it all together? If we really stretched ourselves as far as we could?” Or how about “What are the possibilities for this business to really do something great or dynamic?” I think that you would probably be astounded at what you would hear. People have great ideas, dreams, and possibilities inside of them. They just need someone to stop the treadmill and ask the question, surrounded by an atmosphere of acceptance.
Here are some areas to think about possibilities in:
The office atmosphereCustomer relationsCustomer satisfactionIncreased salesIncreased profitCommunity service projects
I Would – the Arena of Negotiation
After you have recognized your corporate values, understood your responsibilities and then had your staff possibilities session, there comes a time of reflection upon those possibilities. Every possibility has a cost associated with it. At this point an organization not only says “we could” but they also need to determine what the cost will be and whether or not the successful implementation of the possibility is worth the cost. This is the arena of negotiation. It isn’t negotiation in the traditional sense of the word, such as negotiating a price with a client or vendor, but is primarily an internal negotiation. This is where you ask qualifying questions. “I would if…”
1. If this is to come about, what will the cost be?
2. Is it worth it?
3. If this comes about, what will the ramifications be in other areas of my business?
4. What other adjustments would have to be made, and are they worth it?
5. What would the reward have to be in order for me to pursue this possibility?
6. How long will it take me to reach this possibility?
In light of that, do I want to readjust the organization for that period of time? In other words, would the outcome be worth it? What trade-offs will I have to make with my time, finances, staff, customers, or family? Are these trade-offs worth it?
These are all examples of negotiation questions. You are negotiating internally, with yourself or your staff.
For example, you may find that your possibilities include substantially more profit for an extra five hours of your time per week. But your family life may be such that it wouldn’t be the overall best situation for you to increase your workload five more hours a week at this point in your life. Perhaps it is still a possibility, but should be delayed for a year or two You may see the possibility of giving better customer service by adding two new employees, to bring the ratio of employees to customers down. What would the cost be? What would the reward be? Perhaps you will find out that the reward, be it financial or otherwise, is more than sufficient in your mind to spur you on to pursue the possibility. You may want to get a comprehensive view of your current customers’ satisfaction. There is any number of ways to go about obtaining that information. Giving a response card to each person that visits. Calling past customers on the phone. Visiting each client personally. What are the costs of these? Which ones are right for you and your staff at the current time? Every possibility has a cost associated with it. Take some time this week to measure the costs of your possibilities. Then, when you find those that are good for you – go for it!
I Want To – The Arena of Vision
Sometimes one of the best ways to determine what you or your company or organization should do is what you want to do! Two sections back we asked what the possibilities were for your business. We decided to dream a little. Now, of those possibilities, what ones would you really like to do? The reason for this is simple:
Because those ideas that stir our passions for excellence become things that we can easily “see.” They can become our “vision.” Vision is a word that is used a lot in leadership development these days, and for a good reason. In order for something to happen, someone has to first see it happening long before it actually does. Sure, there are lots of things you could do (possibilities), but what do you want to do? What can you see yourself doing? If money, and time, were no object; if you knew that you couldn’t fail at your attempt; what would you want to try? Then, why not try? This can become your vision. And a vision is a powerful thing. Vision is what drives success and accomplishment. Just think of the great accomplishments of mankind and about what vision must have been behind them. So, what do you want to do in your life? What would you like to accomplish with your business or organization? Great things come when we dream, when we gain a vision of a better tomorrow. Vision drives us to attempt things far beyond where we are right now. Here is one of my favorite quotes from old Rough and Ready, Teddy Roosevelt. I hope it encourages you to stretch for greater things. “Far better it is to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, though checkered by failure, than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy, nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows neither victory nor defeat.”
I Will – The Arena of Dedication
They say that the three most important things in real estate are “location, location, location.” That may very well be true, but I have decided, after being involved in numerous start-up ventures (both for profit and non-profit) that the three most important things in work, especially during the start-up process, are “perseverance, perseverance, perseverance.” I have come to believe that much of what separates the successful from the unsuccessful is simply determination. The successful are not always the brightest, the best looking, or those with the most prestigious diplomas. Instead, they are the ones who say “I will do this!” and “Hardship will not deter me!” These people have entered into and continually live in the arena of dedication. Staying there long enough usually puts them on top. Dedication is a key to success. So far, we have had you determine your corporate values, and had you dream and think of the possibilities for your life, work, and organization. What now? Hard work! Once you and your staff have determined what your possibilities are, you should also spend some time to recognize all of the hard work that will be involved in achieving your dreams. Then spend some time preparing to meet the challenges. Here are some questions to help you get through the process, prepare yourself for the job ahead, and come out on the end of success.
What are the obstacles we will face?
How will we overcome those obstacles?
What kinds of attitudes and dedication will we need to exhibit when the time comes to face difficulties and up-hill battles?
What are the rewards our dedication will bring to us as individuals and corporately?
Focusing in on these questions will help you prepare for the times when you will need to show dedication, perseverance and inner fortitude. The mental preparation now will strengthen you to succeed later.
I Do – The Arena of Accomplishment
As we close this series, it is important to remember that these phases are all constantly rotating through different areas of our lives. In some areas we will be in the values formulating arena, others the dedication arena. And of course we will at times be in the accomplishment arena. It comes when the job is complete. What is important at this stage? Well, a few things actually.
1. A little rest. Notice I said a “little.” It isn’t time to sit back for good, but resting can be a much-needed reward for all of the hard work you have shown up until now. After the pace of pursuing your dreams, your body and mind need some well– deserved rest.
2. A little celebration. Celebrations are great for us. What is all the work for if one can’t enjoy the fruit of his labor? Maybe it is a small dinner out. Maybe it is a huge celebration like a party for a hundred of your closest friends and business associates. Maybe it is an exotic vacation?
3. A sense of fulfillment.The greatest reward is, as the old saying goes, “the satisfaction of a job well done.” Not many people make it to the accomplishment arena very often. Enjoy the satisfaction!
4. A new high bar.One of the great things about life is the challenge of new heights. You have accomplished your task, and that’s good, but…
Now, What’s Next?

THE ART OF GIVING

In the pursuit of the life we dream of, this journey we are on for successful living, the focus is usually on figuring out what it is exactly that we want and then setting ourselves on course for going and getting it. This is very important: Know what you want to get for your life and then pursue it.
But there is another aspect of achieving the life you dream of that seems on the surface to actually be counter-productive to getting the life you want, yet is imperative to the successful life. It is giving.
Giving – of yourself, your time, your money, your energy – is something that takes us from simply being successful people in the traditional sense of the term, to being people who lead successful lives.
Giving is what makes us fully human. It is the essence of what we are, people who are here on earth together, not simply people who hope to clamor to the top of the pile in the survival of the fittest. Yes, pursue your life and your success with wild abandon; be responsible for yourself and take ownership of your life, realizing that you cannot be responsible for others, but also allow yourself to become a giving person.
Giving is also what allows us to accomplish things far beyond ourselves; and that is part of what living the life of our dreams is all about, right? Accomplishing great things through ourselves – and others!
How do we do that? Here are some ideas:
Make your giving purposeful. Give to people and organizations that fulfill purposes that you believe in. This way, they feel good, you feel good, and the work you believe in gets done. Giving purposefully will give you the ability to know that your giving is doing something great.
Make your giving proactive. Take control of your giving. When we control our giving it becomes proactive rather than reactive. We know that we are doing what we want to do rather than what others may manipulate us to do. We can avoid a lot of the wondering about validity that comes when we give out of reaction. Giving proactively will give you a lot of peace of mind.
Make your giving methodical. Every month my wife and I write out our charity checks before any other checks. We do that on purpose to keep our hearts in the right place. Every month, month in and month out, year after year, we go about our giving. Our goal is to give away $1,000,000 by the end of our lives (and we may have to even readjust that goal as time goes by since we set it when we were only 24 years old and we are well on our way to that goal.) This isn’t done by giving big chunks from time to time. It is accomplished by checks each and every month, methodically. Giving methodically allows you to build up larger gifts over time.
Make your giving generous. Don’t be a tightwad! Loosen up the purse strings a bit. Think of your giving in regard to how you can be generous, not how you can cover your charitable bases. I have found that it isn’t the extra money given to charity that breaks people. It is usually mismanagement. And at the end of your life you will most likely not know the difference financially, though you will in your heart. Making your giving generous allows you to give even greater amounts over time.
Make your giving increasing. Don’t just give the same amount from year to year – increase your giving. I think there are two good times to readjust your giving: The first of the year and any time your income goes up. Bump your giving up then, if you can. This will keep you on pace with your giving goals and you will notice the increase less from your bottom line. Make your giving increasing and your giving will keep pace with your income.
Make your giving from the heart. Don’t just let your giving be a mind issue. Let it be a heart issue. This is what gives us our humanity. What causes make your eyes tear up? What causes really mean something to your heart when you are honest with yourself? Start giving to these causes! Let your checkbook be a reflection of your heart! Make your giving from the heart and you will allow your heart to grow.
(Sometimes) Make your giving spontaneous. Sometimes… Allow yourself to be spontaneous with your giving. Do allow yourself to react sometimes. Will you get taken advantage of? Yes, sometimes. But you will also be doing something within yourself that will keep you from becoming cynical. Sometimes, as life has been good to you and you find yourself blessed, let yourself be the blessing to someone else. Make your giving spontaneous (sometimes) and you will battle the disease of cynicism about charity that can creep in.
These are just a few ideas that you can implement right now to begin the art of giving in your life. The key is to decide that you will become a giver, and not merely a taker. You will choose to leave something behind in this world and not merely try to get something out of it.
And as we all commit to that, our world will be a better place and we can all live the lives that we dream of.

START WITH THE BASICS

The other day I am at the club getting ready to go work out. I am standing in the row of lockers talking to another guy. I hear a couple of kids come in behind me, but don’t turn around. It is obvious from their conversation that they are about five and three years old and they are going to go swimming.
Suddenly the older boy says to the younger one in a scolding voice, “Joey, you have to take your shoes off before you take your pants off.” I turn around and there is this three year old sitting on the ground, trying to take his pants off over these huge waffle-stomper boots!
The guy I was talking to said, “That is good basic life instruction!”
I said, “I’m gonna use that for an article someday.”
Indeed: Always take your shoes off before you take your pants off.
It made me think about how we often try to get so sophisticated in our quest for success and personal growth but isn’t it really true that all success begins with the basics? In fact, perhaps the struggles we have are because we have gotten away from the basics. With that in mind I gave some thought this week to the basics in a few areas. Here they are.
Business
- Always produce a good product
- Be honest
- Under-promise and over-deliver
- Help people and money will come
- Pay your people well
Family
- Put them first as they will be with you last
- Treat your spouse like they are the most important person in the world – they are!
- Give your kids more time than even you think that you should
- Be sure to discipline your kids – they need boundaries
- Take the time to create family memories
- Travel as far and spend as much money as you need to to make it home for special occasions – in the long run you’ll be glad you did
Relationships
- Treat people the way you want to be treated
- Don’t speak ill of others
- Always help if you can when others are in need
- Find ways to make others feel special
- Always tell others what you like or appreciate about them
Health
- Significantly lower your intake of “junk”
- Exercise more, even if it is just a short daily walk
- Drop the bad habits, like alcohol and cigarettes
- Eat more fruits and vegetables
Finances
- Eliminate debt – be ruthless about this
- Take a look at where you are currently spending
- Tighten up on (or cut out) the loose stuff in your budget
- Save some money each month
- Give some money away to charity each month
Spirituality
- Pray regularly
- Trust God, even when it seems hard
- Live what you say you believe
- Get involved in a community of faith
Emotions
- Take an inventory of your emotional health
- Work to control extremes in any emotion (emotions are good when they help to feel what we are supposed to feel, but destructive when they get to extremes)
- Allow yourself to feel emotions you have suppressed.

SLAYING YOUR OWN GIANTS

I read an old story the other day. It is one that almost everyone is familiar with, and as I read it, I realized that it is filled with a strategy for successfully defeating giants. Yes, giants. We all have them in our lives: Self-doubt, bad habits, financial difficulty, bad relationships etc, can all be giants in our lives.
The story? David and Goliath. Take a journey back in time with me and see if there isn’t a great deal of truth in this story that we can apply to our own lives today.
Here are the timeless principles I see in this story of the little guy beating the giant:
Expect giants to block the way to the Promised Land. Too many times we go for our dreams expecting that it will be like a cakewalk at the county fair. Not true! If you want to get to something as great as the promise land you imagine for your life, realize that the world isn’t just going to roll over and die. No, competitors will do anything they can to keep you out. Naysayers will stand before you and tell you it can’t be done. Giants will appear and you will have to go through them to get where you want to go. Don’t go into your journey with your eyes closed. Expect to battle a giant or two!
Attack your giant for a reason bigger than your own victory. For David, his reason was to defend the honor of God, since the giant was taunting God. Yes, he heard that he would get a wife out of the deal, but his biggest reason wasn’t personal. The same is true with us. Yes, we will gain a lot from our successes but I have found that personal gain is usually fleeting in regard to long-term joy and happiness. Those things that bring a deep sense of personal satisfaction come from accomplishing something positive for an altruistic reason, or for some cause that transcends us!
Recognize your own strengths. When asked if he thought if he could really defeat the giant, David reflected on his past successes. He thought about all those times that he was guarding his father’s sheep and had to ward off animal attackers. Surely if he had killed both a lion and a bear, this human – even if he was nine feet tall! – wouldn’t be much to do a way with. David knew his strengths. He knew what he could do, and he would do it again and again until he reached his goal.
Don’t use someone else’s armor. Okay, the king was convinced: David could go ahead, but first, the king put his armor on David. Like a 10 year old in his father’s suit, David walked around in the armor. “No thanks,” said David. He knew what he needed and it wasn’t what worked for someone else. Yes, we need to take advice, but what works for one doesn’t always work for everyone else. There is no cookie cutter path to success. There is more than one way to skin a cat (By the way, who came up with that disgusting analogy? But I digress…). “Dance with the one that brung ya,” they say. So on your way to success, stick with what works, not someone else’s plan or strategy. David knew a slingshot would work just fine thank you.
Take five weapons, though you may only need one. This was one of the really fascinating parts of the story. David obviously knew that he was good with a slingshot. Good enough to kill a giant, at least. So there was some assurance and self-confidence there. But he also knew that sometimes things go awry. He knew that sometimes it takes a few shots to kill the giants. So, even though eventually he only needed one smooth stone to do the job, he had four others for backup! What about you? Are you five deep in the resource pocket? If not, find a few more stones to do battle with your giant with.
Run toward the giant, not away from it. Here was another interesting point. The story is sure to mention that David ran toward the giant. Why? To get a good shot! So many of us run away from our giants, hoping that if we do we will be able to avoid giants all together. Not true. We will just have to do battle with another giant somewhere else, and all we have chosen to do is go the circuitous route rather than the direct one. Move in close to your giant, and let him have it!
Make sure it is dead after it falls. One shot and David’s giant took a tumble. Did David party? Nope, he went and made sure that Giant wouldn’t rise to haunt him another day. He went in close and with a big swipe of his sword, took the giant’s head off! Giants have way of coming back to life, so be sure that you have really conquered your giant before you move on!
Just like David, you CAN conquer your giants! You CAN move past them into your own promised land! Just stick with these age-old guidelines and you will be well on your way!
Here they are again!
1. Expect giants to block the way to the Promised Land.
2. Attack your giant for a reason bigger than your own victory.
3. Recognize your own strengths.
4. Don’t use someone else’s armor.
5. Take five weapons, though you may only need one.
6. Run toward the giant, not away from it.
7. Make sure it is dead after it falls.
Take up your slingshot and take a few throws at your giant today!

SEVEN CHARACTER TRAITS OF SUCCESSFUL PEOPLE

1. They are hard working. There is no such thing as easy money. Success takes hard work and people who are willing to do it.
2. They are honest. Those who are successful long-term are the honest ones. Dishonest people may get the first sale, but honest people will get all the rest!
3. They persevere. How many success stories will go untold because they never happened? And all because someone quit. Successful people outlast everybody else.
4. They are friendly. Have you noticed that most successful people are friendly and people oriented? This endears them to others and enables them to lead others to accomplish the task.
5. They are lifelong learners. Successful people are people who stretch themselves and grow continually, learning from all areas of life, including from their mistakes.
6. They over-deliver.The old statement of under-promise and over-deliver became famous because it made a lot of people successful, including the richest man in the world - Bill Gates
7. They seek solutions in the face of problems. Problems are opportunities to do the impossible, not just complain. Successful people are the ones who find solutions.