YOUR SELF-ACCEPTANCE, YOUR SELF-ESTEEM

Did you know that self-acceptance begins in infancy, with the influence of your parents and siblings and other important people?

Your own level of self-acceptance is determined largely by how well you feel you are accepted by the important people in your life.

Your attitude toward yourself is determined largely by the attitudes that you think other people have toward you. When you believe that other people think highly of you, your level of self-acceptance and self-esteem goes straight up.

The best way to build a healthy personality involves understanding yourself and your feelings.

Let the Light Shine In

This is achieved through the simple exercise of self-disclosure. For you to truly understand yourself, or to stop being troubled by things that may have happened in your past, you must be able to disclose yourself to at least one person. You have to be able to get those things off your chest. You must rid yourself of those thoughts and feelings by revealing them to someone who won’t make you feel guilty or ashamed for what has happened.

Understand What Makes You Tick

The second part of personality development follows from self-disclosure, and it’s called self-awareness. Only when you can disclose what you’re truly thinking and feeling to someone else can you become aware of those thoughts and emotions If the other person simply listens to you without commenting or criticizing, you have the opportunity to become more aware of the person you are and why you do the things you do. You begin to develop perspective, or what the Buddhists call “detachment.”

Be Honest With Yourself

Now we come to the good part. After you’ve gone through self-disclosure to self-awareness, you arrive at self-acceptance. You accept yourself for the person you are, with good points and bad points, with strengths and weaknesses, and with the normal frailties of a human being. When you develop the ability to stand back and look at yourself honestly and to candidly admit to others that you may not be perfect but you’re all you’ve got, you start to enjoy a heightened sense of self-acceptance.

Do An Inventory of Your Accomplishments

A valuable exercise for developing higher levels of self-acceptance involves doing an inventory of yourself. In doing this inventory, your job is to accentuate the positive and minimize the negative.

Think of your unique talents and abilities. Think of your core skills, the things that you do exceptionally well that account for your success in your profession and in your personal life right now.

Think About Your Future

Think about your future possibilities and the fact that your potential is virtually unlimited. You can do what you want to do and go where you want to go. You can be the person you want to be. You can set large and small goals and make plans and move step-by-step, progressively toward their realization. There are no obstacles to what you can accomplish except the obstacles that you create in your mind.

Action Exercises

Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, sit down with your spouse, or a good friend, and tell him or her about something that is troubling you and is still causing you unhappiness.

Second, develop perspective on your problem by standing back from it and imagining that it was happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?

Third, think continually about the good experiences and accomplishments you have enjoyed in the past. Remind yourself regularly that you are a pretty good person and you’ve done a lot of good things in your life.

THE BIG PIECES GO IN FIRST

Almost every human being wants "more" in life. We want more
joy, more fulfillment, more money, or (in some cases) we
want fewer troubles or less hassle. We wish we had more
time, more friends, or more success. The problem is that
too often we keep doing the same things over and over,
wondering why things don't change.
One of my primary missions in writing IMPACT is to share
ideas that have worked for others, and to provide a weekly
reminder to "keep on keeping on." Things DO get better for
those who use (1) good principles, and (2) have tons of
persistence!
With that in mind, here are two key principles that apply
in almost every area of life or personal success:
1. Balance. We need to have "all four wheels on the
ground" and keep the various areas of life working
together. We all know people who fail at this, and it isn't
a pretty picture. Some people make lots of money, but are
unhappy - Elvis Presley comes to mind. Others achieve in
some other area of life, but never handle the problem of
"balance." We all know the tragic results.
2. Put the BIG pieces in first. There's a famous story
about a speaker who put a large glass jar on a counter, put
some large rocks in it and asked the audience if it was
full. They said yes, so she added some small pebbles, and
asked again. Once again, the audience said yes, so she
poured in some sand. When the jar was full of sand, she
poured in some water, then asked what the BIG principle
was? Too many people answer "you can always squeeze a
little more in." That doesn't work!
The correct answer is that if you want to get the big
pieces into your life, you have to PUT THEM IN FIRST! If
life is filled with water and sand and pebbles, you'll
never squeeze the big pieces in later!
So, the question becomes, What are the BIG pieces?
I suspect every thoughtful person has their own list, but
here are a few suggestions:
1. Work and Career. We want to do well, achieve much, make
some money and leave a legacy. Be sure to do work you love,
and get good at it! Have a career plan and follow it!
Success is not an accident.
2. Intimacy and Family. Families come in all shapes and
sizes, but almost everyone wants our most intimate
relationships to be happy, loving, and fulfilling. Love,
intimacy and great memories don't happen in our "spare
time." Schedule the big pieces first!
3. Health and Fitness. As far as I can tell, we get one
body and we ought to take care of it, but few of us really
do. Exercise. Eat your fruits and vegetables. Laugh often.
Breath deeply. And when it hurts, see your doctor.
4. Finances and wealth. We live in a world full of money.
People around us are wealthy, and there are fundamental
principles that apply to making, keeping and managing
money. Learn to use money wisely.
5. Fun and Recreation (Re-Creation). Life is to be lived!
"All work and no play makes Jack (and Jill) a dull
boy/girl." Pursue a hobby. Play with your kids. Make love.
See a play. Go bowling, fly a kite. Take a nap. The "good
life" is not only measured by the size of your bank
account. It has everything to do with joy.

10 WAYS TO GENERATE BRILLIANT IDEAS

Here you will find ten of the best methods I have used in my organisation for idea generation. They have worked for me very well. I now share them with you. I trust they will assist you in your endeavours as they have done with mine. 

1.DEFINE THE PROBLEM

To generate ideas to solve business problems we all need a starting point. You will not be able to fly from New York to Frankfurt, Germany until you first arrive at JFK. If you don't exactly know where you are you will need a map to pinpoint your current location and then gradually work your way to JFK airport.

It is imperative that you establish where you are before looking to progress. In other   words study the map that will take you to New York thoroughly.

2.BRAINSTORMING

You have quite probably heard of this brilliant method. Simply, when a group of people get together and simply write down as much as you can in relation to the objectives   outlined. Don't worry about about strategic planning or anything like that. Concentrate solely on idea generation. Place a time limit on the group and choose the location and the time well so that they are conducive to performance.

Make sure that everybody is at their peak and has been instructed to "Think Big". I have been able to move mountains after a very healthy brainstorming session.

3.FOCUS ENTIRELY ON WHAT YOU WANT

To give your ideas the best chance to sprout for your business solutions you are going to need to switch off to outside influences.Tolerate nothing! Eradicate the distractions, the daily frustrations and predictable dramas of your life once and for all!

Don't just fix the problem, re-design your routine so the predictable irritations can't ever bother you again!

4.HAVE A GENUINE INTEREST IN WHAT YOU ARE TRYING TO SOLVE

Do you remember your schooling days when you participated in sports (or particular class subjects) that you absolutely detested; as back then, they were compulsory? Do you remember how good you were at these activities? Probably not as it doesn't present itself as a good memory. But it's probably safe to say that you didn't perform well.

It's very very difficult to perform magnificently at something you're not overly fond of. If you have a vested interest in what it is you're trying to do, the likelihod of success is  multiplied substantially. If you are trying to solve something that bores you to tears for heavens sake give it to someone who really likes it. This concept encompasses teamwork which is another subject altogether.

If you are self-employed you will have an automatic interest (taking into account that you have a vision of what you want your business to become).

5.LOOK AT PARALLEL PROBLEMS & SOLUTIONS

Relate your current problem to one that you had in the past and check for parallels between the two. The way(s) earlier problems were solved can assist you greatly in generating ideas to solve subsequent situations that present themselves.

Think laterally, think vertically, think logically. The best ideas will always come from groups working for the common goal. Give your group as much opportunity to be creative by listening twice as much as speaking. Do this as informally as possible and get past situations into the open.

You can then draw on the past successes and take them a step further with the challenge of today.

6.LOOK AT EACH TASK AS A CHALLENGE

It's true that if you look at a problem simply as a "problem" then that is exactly how many will look at it. Sure it is a problem and therefore, needs a solution. However, this thought should not be in the forefront of the mind when looking to turn this "problem" into an "asset".

The word, "problem" tends to sum up negative thoughts within us. It is these negative thoughts that can almost act as a barrier to its resolution. Now if we turn the coin over and look at it from the other side (using our example in step 1) we can look at the trip from wherever we are to New York as an adventurous challenge. It is simply by this method that we have more positive thoughts within our mind and are more likely to enjoy

ourselves along the way presented with an interesting challenge as opposed to a potentially difficult problem.

Just look at the goal. How happy will you be when you arrive at Frankfurt?

7.TURN THE CHALLENGE/PROBLEM INTO A CATCHY EXPRESSION

Okay we have looked at using past example and creating parallels to "answer our challenge". One step further is to present the challenge as a catchphrase.

Using our same example:

'Aunty Jackies For Christmas'

'Frankfurt Or Bust' (Hmmm!! This one's a bit old)
'Europe For The Summer'
'Dream Trip Of A Lifetime'
'The European Cultural Experience'
'Tomorrow travel at 250kmh legally'

Doing this will give everyone an idea of the benefits associated with the attainment of the problem at hand. It puts them in the situation that they are already there.

It's so much easier to get there with a popular vision on the mind. What expression would you suggest?

8.DAYDREAM!!! LET YOUR CREATIVE SUB-CONSCIOUS WORK FOR YOU!!!

It's no strange coincidence that during the time you drive along staring out the window, sleep in your bed, undertake your daily duties at work or anything for that matter your sub-conscious continues to work for you (even though you may not always be fully aware of this).

How often have you been doing something totally unrelated and then suddenly an idea snaps into your mind? Often? Sometimes? Never? In any case after you have put considerable time into solving your problem you will find your inner mind will work for you. Sometimes if you try too hard to solve something you end up with nothing short of major frustration.

So, as the expression goes "chill out", have a break and sleep on it. You may be surprised at how successful switching off can be.

9.ALTER YOUR ROUTINE REGULARLY

Have you ever noticed how easily we accumulate habits. Many habits can actually stifle your creativity. If you are someone who:

'travels the same route each day'

'work at the same desk and task day in day out'
'mix with the same people regularly'
'take your annual holidays to the same destination each year'

To continue generating healthy ideas to better our work, our surroundings, our family etc we must continually be looking for "newness". Familiarity is very good in that it makes us feel very very secure. It is this very security that closes our mind to change and restricts our creative abilities.

Take the bus or the train across town or maybe even just a different route from time to time, broaden your job responsibilities, take on another sport or leisure activity and meet some different people with a different outlook.

You will be quietly surprised at how much positive energy you will get from doing things as small as that outlined above.

10.CARRY A NOTEPAD

I always have a notepad with me. I am now at the point where I can't live without one of the most simple devices known to man, which has probably been around almost since the days of the "Cave Man".

A pen with a pocket size pad is brilliant as you can capture every idea that comes to you. It's absolutely useless to say "I'll write it down later" as the chances are very slim that you will in fact do that at all.

They will be your ideas. Capture them, preserve them, apply them.

- by  Darren Roberts.

ENTREPRENEURSHIP: SOLVING PROBLEMS

Entrepreneurship is the art of finding profitable solutions to problems. Every successful entrepreneur, every successful businessperson has been a person who has been able to identify a problem and come up with a solution to it before somebody else did. Here are the five rules for entrepreneurship.

Find A Need And Fill It

First, find a need and fill it. Ross Perot, when he was working for IBM, saw that his customers who were buying IBM computers needed help in processing their data. He went to IBM with this idea and they said they weren't interested, so he started his own business. He eventually sold it out for $2.8 billion dollars. He found a need and he filled it.

Find A Problem And Solve It

The second rule is to find a problem and solve it. A secretary working for a small company began mixing flour with nail varnish in order to white out the mistakes she was making in her typing. Pretty soon, her friends in the same office asked if she could make some for them. So she began mixing it on her kitchen table. Then, people in other offices started asking for it, and she eventually quit her business and worked full time creating what is today called Liquid Paper. A few years ago, she sold her company to Gillette Corporation for 47 million dollars.

Look For Solutions

Find a problem and solve it. Find a problem that everybody's got and see if you can't come up with a solution for it. Find a way to supply a product or a service better, cheaper, faster or easier. Clemmons Wilson saw that there was a need for hotels that could accommodate families that were traveling, and he started Holiday Inns. And Holiday Inns has now become one of the most successful hotel chains in the world.

Focus On Your Customer

Here's the key to success in business. Become obsessed with your customer. Fixate on your customer. Think of the customer. Think of what the customer wants, what the customer needs. What the customer will pay for, what the customer's problems are.

Thomas J. Watson, Senior, the founder of IBM, taught his people and built his company on this principle. See yourself as working for the customer. Once you've come up with a product or an idea, then start to invest your time, talent and energy instead of your money, to get started.

The Source of Most Great Fortunes

Remember this, most great fortunes in America were started with an idea and with personal efforts. Most great fortunes were started with the sale of personal services. This is called sweat equity. In other words, instead of cash equity, put in sweat equity. Put in the sweat of your brow to begin your business. You can learn valuable lessons operating on a small scale.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action:

First, find a need and fill it. Look around you and search for needs that people have for products or services that are not being met. One small idea is enough to start you on the way to business success.

Second, find a problem and solve it. Look around you for problems that you or other people have that are not yet being solved. Look for solutions that nobody has thought of and give them a try. One good solution could change the whole direction of your life

A CHAOTIC WORLD: HOW TO THRIVE IN IT

I've noticed an interesting paradox: The most effective,
most successful people I've worked with seem to have two
things in common. They seem comfortable, challenged, even
exhilarated by chaos, and yet they maintain balance and
tranquility in their lives. It's a amazing set of skills!
The most effective people seem to thrive in a world of chaos
and constant change. They understand life is not actually
"chaotic," that the laws of cause-and-effect still apply,
but they live as if turmoil and confusion are normal! They
know that results are based on intelligent action and
focused effort, while they develop superb skills to "play
and win" in a chaotic, often contradictory world.
They are unusually comfortable with ambiguity. They know
they will never have enough information. They know the rules
are often out of date before they are even published, and
yet they thrive.
In the midst of chaos, they go quietly about their business.
When others are losing control, they remain calm. When
others panic, they have a cup of tea and contemplate their
next strategic move. They often move quickly, but always
with a sense of confidence, power or self-assurance. How can
this be?
In this regard, I'm intrigued by the TV show, "Desperate
Housewives." Millions of people identify with the chaos and
confusion of the over-worked mother with hyper-active kids
or the dizzy divorcee.
Obviously the show is designed for drama and ratings, but
what deeply troubles me is the level of wealth, beauty and
"success" the characters seem to enjoy. People with
confused, chaotic lives rarely live that well! The WINNERS
in life do not live with over-whelm and dysfunction. They
have to get things done!
Several things are necessary to thrive in the midst of
chaos:
1. Exceptional boundaries. This is where the "desperate"
housewives go astray because they seem to have no boundaries
at all. Winners close their doors and ignore disruptions.
They turn off the phone and claim their space. They know
where they are going and tolerate few distractions.
2. Exceptional vision. Winners know their priorities and
their desired outcomes. They know what they want and they
can see, taste, smell and almost touch their results in
advance. They have goals and tasks rather than mere hopes or
wishes.
3. Exceptional self-direction. Winners are in charge of
their lives and chaos around them is just that -- other
people's chaos swirling around them, while they maintain an
inner calm. They are not lost or confused about their
values, their priorities, their direction or their most
important daily tasks.
4. Exceptional optimism. They see chaos as opportunity.
Chaos "stirs the pot" and opens doors. Rather than annoying
or frustrating them, they love it! On a wild and windy day,
a rainbow may appear at any moment and they are eager to
welcome it.
5. Exceptional Reserves. They take care of themselves. They
eat well, rest often, save and invest wisely and when
opportunity knocks, they are waiting to answer the door.
They operate from strength and stability, while a chaotic
world wreaks havoc on the competition.
6. Exceptional response-ability. Rather than reacting from
stress, anger, fear or anxiety, they see a magnificent,
ever-changing world and respond quickly to once-in-a-
lifetime opportunities. "Desperate" people react; winners
respond.
John Lennon observed that "life is what happens while you
were making other plans." Life will not wait until we are
ready or until we catch our breath. Winners learn to thrive
on chaos. They see and seize opportunities, and love the
wild ride. They recognize the risks and enjoy the drama,
while operating from a place of inner calm. In a world
swirling with change and chaos, winners keep their balance,
take care of themselves and focus on their goals.

SETTLE FOR EXCELLENCE IN ALL THINGS

There are two famous recommendations that I don't believe in. They are supposed to lead to the "good life" but I don't think they work. The first is "all things in moderation" and the second is the quest for "perfection."
Regarding moderation, I much prefer the quote from May West that "too much of a good thing is just right." What a great attitude!
I deserve LOTS of great things in my life! I deserve all the health, joy, love, great memories, passion and fulfillment I can get! Moderation? I don’t think so.
Although, I have noticed that moderation in some things may be a good thing. Moderation in drinking, for instance, seems to reduce hangovers, accidents, addiction, and all sorts of embarrassing moments. Moderating my consumption of chips, dip and beer seems to be a good thing. (Super Bowl Sunday may be a universal exception – I'm still checking data on that one.)
Moderating my spending to match my income seems to be a good thing.
But when it comes to the things that make life worth-while, I HATE moderation! Why would I settle for a "little" happiness when the world seems designed to fill my life with joy?! Why would I work like a slave, when wealth and freedom and love are all around me? Sure, I work to earn money (and to make my unique contribution), but I'd much rather practice "moderation" in work and "let her rip" when it comes to joy and personal development!
I don't believe in "moderation in all things." Be very, very careful about the things you "practice in moderation!"
Similarly, trying to make life "perfect" is a trap. Very few things in life are "perfect" because life is always changing. If it was perfect a moment ago, it may already be deteriorating or evolving into something new. Or my tastes may have changed – perhaps I've outgrown it – and I'm no longer satisfied. Very few things in life are "perfect."
More importantly, since we aren't perfect, very few of the things we do are perfect. There's a wonderful quote about Howard Hughes that for all his genius and wealth, "he sought a perfection that assured failure."
Don't do that to yourself!
Instead, settle for excellence. Strive for a GREAT life, not a perfect one. Trouble happens. Mistakes happen. Bad luck and misfortune, and yes, even tragedy happens, but good things happen, too. Excellence and wisdom, love and joy never go out of style. We never outgrow our desire for love, celebration, achievement, and personal growth.
I am totally convinced it is possible to live a World Class Life™! In fact, I believe a life that is truly “World Class” is the MINIMUM we should expect of ourselves. Who wants to settle for average or mediocre? Who would intentionally develop only part of their potential, use only some of their talent, or part of their creativity? No one would do that! Strive for excellence in all things!

CASE STUDY: HANDLING POLITICS AT WORKPLACE

Only the truly competent individual can be free of politics in an organization. When you're really good at what you do, you can rise above politics. Think about it. It's the mediocrities at work who have to play games and every study shows that although they sometimes succeed in the short-term, they invariably fail when everyone figures them out.

Do What You Have To Do

Select your work carefully and if you don't love what you're doing enough to want to be the best at it, get out! Flee from the boring or unsatisfying job as you would from a burning building. Working at something you don't care about is the very best way to waste your life. Remember, this life is not a rehearsal for something else.

Look for Pay for Performance

One key to getting onto the fast-track is for you to work for the right company and the right boss. The right company is one that respects its people and practices pay for performance. The right company is dynamic, growing, open to new ideas, and full of opportunities for people with ambition and initiative.

How to Make Progress

A woman spoke to me at a seminar recently and reminded me that she had asked me a question at a seminar about two years ago. She had told me that she was very ambitious and hard-working but that she wasn't making any progress in the large company where she worked. She felt it was because most of the senior executives were men in their fifties and sixties and that women had a hard time getting into positions of responsibility. What could she do?

Change Jobs When Necessary

I told her quite frankly that there was nothing she could do. The senior executives and the company were not going to change. If she was really as capable as she said, I told her to find a job with a young, growing company that wouldn't care whether she was a woman as long as she could do the job.

A Success Story

She told me that she had followed my advice, quit her job, much to the disapproval of her co-workers, and found a job with a small growing company - and it was exactly as I had said. She had been promoted twice in the last 14 months and was already earning 40% more than her best year with her previous company.

Action Exercises

Here are two things you can do to assure that you are in the right position.

First, make sure that you really enjoy your work and that you do it well. You will never be successful at a job that you don't like.

Second, be sure that there are lots of opportunities for you to grow, develop and advance in your company. Your future is too valuable to waste where there is no future.

TOP 10 REASONS FOR PERSONAL RETREATS

So many wonderful things happened during our recent Conference, it’s hard to know where to start. I’m going to use the “Top 10” format for some clarity about why I’m so excited about the value of personal retreats.
Obviously I’m totally biased and absurdly partisan when it comes to this particular Conference. Everyone should join us, at least once! (And like most good things, once is never enough!) But to keep this at least somewhat objective, let me do a little bragging about these three days first, then we’ll get to the larger picture.
We laughed and celebrated, we ate together, we debated. People took long solitary walks, spent time with their journals or on the phone with loved ones, and we gathered in groups to talk about life’s most important challenges. Mostly, these are talented people with great lives—who took time to make things even better! We had fun, and in the months and years to come, the dividends will keep on rolling! But let me get to the Top 10 Reasons For Personal Retreats:
1. What We Focus On Expands. It’s so easy to focus on the trivial in our daily lives. We go to work, run errands, follow our routine until we forget to focus on the Big Picture. Where you are going in life? What’s important? What do you want? What needs to change? Focus on these things.
2. Personal Retreats Give Perspective. If we look at anything too closely, it becomes overly complex and we begin to micro-manage it. Time and distance allow us to regain our balance and notice where we’ve gone off-course.
3. Personal Retreats are Healthy. Our bodies need time to re-charge and renew. Obviously, vacations do this, along with “Mental Health Days,” but there is something special about a personal retreat. They lower the blood pressure and elevate the spirit. They ease tension and energize our lives.
4. Personal Retreats Stimulate the Mind. Vacations can dull the mind and body, but retreats fire the imagination. Mixing with bright, talented people from a variety of backgrounds and perspectives allows us to “think the unthinkable and imagine the impossible.” Anything seems do-able. Bigger really is better!
5. Personal Retreats Create Magic. Conferences and retreats throw us together with people of like-mind and diverse backgrounds. When we share our joys and solutions with talented, eager people, magic happens.
6. Personal Retreats Create Sacred Space. Conferences allow time and space to transform our lives. Whether it’s a quiet room in a business hotel, visiting a museum, or walking the 1000 acres of Green Lake, retreats invite us to take notes, ponder over a cup of tea, and enrich our lives in amazing ways.
7. Personal Retreats Help Us Know Ourselves. Socrates said, “The unexamined life is not worth living.” That may be extreme, but sometimes we do forget who we are, what we value, or what we want in life. Retreats let us look in the mirror, make discoveries and take notes on our own lives.
8. Personal Retreats Challenge Us. Remember the old slogan, “Be All You Can Be?” Retreats make us bigger people. We get more air in our lungs and fresh ideas in our heads. Retreats help us grow taller, stronger and more confident. This is good!
9. Sometimes We Learn New Stuff. Personally, I often consider the “expert” at the front of the room the least important reason to attend a Conference, but once in a while, a new perspective or a vital idea does make everything better. To make life better, get where things are better. Put yourself where success and ideas and skills are likely to hit you!
10. Networking is Good. Sometimes it’s not personal, it’s business. Retreats connect us with people we might never meet otherwise, and when creative, talented, goal-oriented people get together, deals happen. New ideas flow, synergies are discovered and people make money!
There are a thousand reasons to attend a great conference, seminar or personal retreat, and really only two excuses not to, “I don’t have time or desire.” Don’t let that happen to you!