Perhaps the most sought after goal in our present society is success in business. Whether you want to be promoted into high paying management positions, or wish to start your own independent enterprise, knowledge of the business world is important.
As you plan a course of action towards accomplishing your goal, keep in mind the small goals that put you closer to the end. And be prepared to change often. You may need to change companies, or to take opportunities in other department as those positions open.
Create an aura of success around you. People who are successful dress that way. Even if you’re not in a high income bracket, act as though you have already achieved without being egotistical or overspending. Develop an expertise in an area. Don’t keep special information to yourself, but be quick to learn all there is about your position and the tasks surrounding getting that job done.
Capitalize on your strengths, and let others help you develop your weakness into assets. Get to know the people in the company and the people in the industry. Read all the trade journals and magazines relating to your company. Make appointments with people who a successful in your field and learn from them.
You need to have a total commitment to succeed in business. Most people who make it to the executive boardroom put in long hours, often at the sacrifice of everything else. Regardless of the physical effort involved, you must mentally be engrossed in your business and the company enterprises. In order to help yourself develop fully, you might seek a mentor, someone who will offer you time and teach you the ropes. This person is someone who believes in your ability, someone who you can develop a mutually beneficial business relationship with. Some people become friendly with all their co-workers and find that is a way to advance. But don’t try to be extroverted if it’s not real to you. Most people who successfully run their own business are individuals who like to work alone.
As you increase your activities and accomplishments, you increase your potential to reach higher. The more you achieve, the more confidence you develop to achieve more. You don’t have to be the same as everyone else and fit like a vegetable in a patch. Be unique, different. Capitalize on your own self-image. Don’t fall victim to self-consciousness. Trust your intuition. Hunches and inner feelings usually are the best route to travel, regardless of what seems to be the logical choice. Make decisions quickly and with firmness. A true leader will handle theses responsibilities efficiently. That’s what makes you different and why you’ll rise to the top.
Be persistent in attaining your goals, but be open and sincere. Many people choose not to increase their own accomplishments and will give you the right of way to be successful. If you are having personal difficulties with any co-workers, try to know more about these people from a personal angle. Be interested in them and their accomplishments and goals. You might be able to turn opposition into friendship.
Above all, use your integrity. If the goal is not worthy of your inner desires, it will be hard to attain. If your methods are not sincere, you will receive opposition. If your actions are not honest you will suffer the consequences. Turn all negative qualities into positive aspects, then watch yourself achieve.
QUOTE FOR TODAY
“The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you’re in control of your life. If you don’t, life controls you.” – Anthony Robbins
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
WHY BRILLIANT PEOPLE FAIL
Yesterday afternoon I was in a meeting, and the ball got rollin with discussion about a question I got from a client about her fear of stepping out of her older sister's shadow... of taking action on what has evolved into her passion. She's young and wants to go into business and learn how to manage and run a growing organization with the dream one day of going into either politics or journalism. She also wants to lose over 50 pounds and keep it off for good because she wants to be taken seriously, and knows that she is seen as weak by many people. And it makes her feel weak, too, knowing that she hasn't been able to control her food urges and be super healthy. Wanting to be a leader of people, she said she knows that she must get in control over herself before she can lead others effectively. I told her that those are huge ambitions that would require total dedication, confidence and the ability to stare fear in the face and squash it... take its power away. Because there is very little in life that can stop you from doing things you truly want to do.
Big goals and dreams are just like small ones except that there are more steps, they take longer and when you get closer, the risks are higher. Because in life, when you want something very cool, you are probably competing with other people... they want the same thing you do. Or they just don't want you to succeed, and remind them of their mediocrity... how they aren't going after their dreams.
Dream stealers. These are people you want to stay away from. Every big goal you could have has its own risks. You can piss off family and friends who don't want you to change, grow, get new friends that aren't like them, and/or they don't want you to move away.Their wrath can come out in a lot of strange ways.The big thing is when you endure failures, or get slowed on your journey toward success (at anything), you will be criticized... sometimes mercilessly. Often this hammering can come from inside your own family...the exact people who are supposed to be on your side.You must push on. If you fall down or get derailed enough times on your path toward your dreams, your reputation can take many massive hits. And ooooooh, it can hurt. Make you want to quit.
Criticism can HURT. But it won't kill you. And it does not have to stop you. There can be other things to fear...Loss of money and security. Loss of physical health, in the form of injury or even the risk of death. But you can keep going in spite of the risks. Now, I've seen many people take stupid, unnecessary risks. I've taken my share of ill-advised gambles. But there are two ways of handling failures (mistakes, setbacks, errors, accidents, delays). They can either stop you, where the only thing you learn is that you are never going to reach your objective...OR, they can make you more determined, teaching you dozens of lessons that you use to win in the future. It's always our choice. Because if your life is the same now as it was 5 or 10years ago, it's fear that made it that way. If you are on the path to having a life, in 5 or 10 years, that looks about the same as it does right now, it's fear that will make it so. Because every day we are given choices. Most people can be pretty much whatever they make their mind up to be.
The average person has scary high potential. But the average person uses hardly any of it. Either you stare down fear, and go after your biggest dreams every single day, or you do little and end up with a meaningless life. Releasing the fears that are stamped on us when we are children is the key to unlocking your unlimited potential. Shrinking the lifelong fears that have kept you small, unimportant, unappreciated, underutilized, and way too often unwanted or unloved can be so easy. It's all in how you communicate with yourself. When you change the way you communicate with yourself, through your habitual, moment-by-moment mental pictures, your affirmations, the questions you are posing to yourself all through the day... when you make yours similar to the people who are now doing what you want to do, then your days will magically get better. Because doing what you need to do to make those dreams come true, in all areas of your life, mental and physical health, education, relationships, spiritual, career, financial, will become natural. Easy.
Big goals and dreams are just like small ones except that there are more steps, they take longer and when you get closer, the risks are higher. Because in life, when you want something very cool, you are probably competing with other people... they want the same thing you do. Or they just don't want you to succeed, and remind them of their mediocrity... how they aren't going after their dreams.
Dream stealers. These are people you want to stay away from. Every big goal you could have has its own risks. You can piss off family and friends who don't want you to change, grow, get new friends that aren't like them, and/or they don't want you to move away.Their wrath can come out in a lot of strange ways.The big thing is when you endure failures, or get slowed on your journey toward success (at anything), you will be criticized... sometimes mercilessly. Often this hammering can come from inside your own family...the exact people who are supposed to be on your side.You must push on. If you fall down or get derailed enough times on your path toward your dreams, your reputation can take many massive hits. And ooooooh, it can hurt. Make you want to quit.
Criticism can HURT. But it won't kill you. And it does not have to stop you. There can be other things to fear...Loss of money and security. Loss of physical health, in the form of injury or even the risk of death. But you can keep going in spite of the risks. Now, I've seen many people take stupid, unnecessary risks. I've taken my share of ill-advised gambles. But there are two ways of handling failures (mistakes, setbacks, errors, accidents, delays). They can either stop you, where the only thing you learn is that you are never going to reach your objective...OR, they can make you more determined, teaching you dozens of lessons that you use to win in the future. It's always our choice. Because if your life is the same now as it was 5 or 10years ago, it's fear that made it that way. If you are on the path to having a life, in 5 or 10 years, that looks about the same as it does right now, it's fear that will make it so. Because every day we are given choices. Most people can be pretty much whatever they make their mind up to be.
The average person has scary high potential. But the average person uses hardly any of it. Either you stare down fear, and go after your biggest dreams every single day, or you do little and end up with a meaningless life. Releasing the fears that are stamped on us when we are children is the key to unlocking your unlimited potential. Shrinking the lifelong fears that have kept you small, unimportant, unappreciated, underutilized, and way too often unwanted or unloved can be so easy. It's all in how you communicate with yourself. When you change the way you communicate with yourself, through your habitual, moment-by-moment mental pictures, your affirmations, the questions you are posing to yourself all through the day... when you make yours similar to the people who are now doing what you want to do, then your days will magically get better. Because doing what you need to do to make those dreams come true, in all areas of your life, mental and physical health, education, relationships, spiritual, career, financial, will become natural. Easy.
Monday, October 27, 2008
THE SUBTLETY OF LANGUAGE
I have found that sometimes the subtle difference in our attitude, which of course can make a major difference in our future, can be as simple as the language we use. The difference in even how you talk to yourself or others. Consciously making a decision to quit saying what you don't want and to start saying what you do want. I call that faith. Believing the best, hoping for the best and moving toward the best.
A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebody doesn't respond" you start saying, "What if they do respond?" Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" You say, "What if they say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" say, "What if they start and stay?" or "What if it doesn't work out ?" You say, "What if it does work out?" and the list goes on and on.
I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.
Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, "I need $10." And if the parents learn to say, "No comprende. That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, but that's not how you get $10." Then you teach your teenager how to ask, "How can I earn $10?"
That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me a harvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil, "I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?" And the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I'll be working while you're sleeping."
If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.
But here is the great news.
You can start this process anytime. For Jim Rohn it was at age 25. At 25 he was broke. Six years later he became a millionaire. Somebody says, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say, "No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.
A few examples could be, instead of saying "What if somebody doesn't respond" you start saying, "What if they do respond?" Instead of saying "What if someone says no?" You say, "What if they say yes?" Instead of "What if they start and quit?" say, "What if they start and stay?" or "What if it doesn't work out ?" You say, "What if it does work out?" and the list goes on and on.
I found that when you start thinking and saying what you really want then your mind automatically shifts and pulls you in that direction. And sometimes it can be that simple, just a little twist in vocabulary that illustrates your attitude and philosophy.
Our language can also affect how others perform and behave around us. A teenager says to a parent, "I need $10." And if the parents learn to say, "No comprende. That kind of language doesn't work here. We've got plenty of money, but that's not how you get $10." Then you teach your teenager how to ask, "How can I earn $10?"
That is the magic of words. There is plenty of money here. There is money for everybody, but you just have to learn the magic words to get them. For everything you could possibly want. If you just learn the philosophy. How could I earn $10? Because you can't go to the soil and say, "Give me a harvest." You know the soil smiles and says, "Who is this clown that brings me his need and brings me no seed." And if you said to the soil, "I've got this seed and if I planted it, would you work while I sleep?" And the soil says, "No problem. Give me the seed. Go to sleep and I'll be working while you're sleeping."
If you just understand these simple principles, teaching them to a teenager (or adult) is sometimes just a matter of language. It's like an investment account instead of a savings account. Simple language, but so important. It is easy to stumble through almost a lifetime and not learn some of these simplicities. Then you have to put up with all the lack and all the challenges that don't work out simply from not reading the book, not listening to the tape, not sitting in the class, not studying your language and not being willing to search so you can then find.
But here is the great news.
You can start this process anytime. For Jim Rohn it was at age 25. At 25 he was broke. Six years later he became a millionaire. Somebody says, "What kind of revolution, what kind of change, what kind of thinking, what kind of magic had to happen? Was it you?" And I say, "No. Any person, any six years, 36 to 42, 50 to 56. Whatever six years; whatever few years you go on an intensive, accelerated personal development curve, learning curve, application curve, and learning the disciplines. Now, it might not take the same amount of time, but I'm telling you the same changes and the same rewards in some different fashion are available for those who pay that six year price. And you might find that whether it's in the beginning to help get you started, or in the middle to keep you on track, that your language can have a great impact on your attitude, actions and results.
Friday, October 24, 2008
YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN!
History abounds with tales of experts who were convinced that the ideas, plans, and projects of others could never be achieved. However, accomplishment came to those who said, "I can make it happen."
The Italian sculptor Agostino d'Antonio worked diligently on a large piece of marble. Unable to produce his desired masterpiece, he lamented, "I can do nothing with it." Other sculptors also worked this difficult piece of marble, but to no avail. Michelangelo discovered the stone and visualized the possibilities in it. His"I-can-make- it-happen" attitude resulted in one of the world's masterpieces - David.
The experts of Spain concluded that Columbus's plans to discover a new and shorter route to the West Indies was virtually impossible. Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand ignored the report of the experts. "I can make it happen," Columbus persisted. And he did. Everyone knew the world was flat, but not Columbus. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, along with Columbus and his small band of followers, sailed to"impossible" new lands and thriving resources.
Even the great Thomas Alva Edison discouraged his friend, Henry Ford, from pursuing his fledgling idea of a motorcar. Convinced of the worthlessness of the idea, Edison invited Ford to come and work for him. Ford remained committed and tirelessly pursued his dream. Although his first attempt resulted in a vehicle without reverse gear, Henry Ford knew he could make it happen. And, of course, he did.
"Forget it," the experts advised Madame Curie. They agreed radium was a scientifically impossible idea. However, Marie Curie insisted, "I can make it happen."
Let's not forget our friends Orville and Wilbur Wright. Journalists, friends, armed forces specialists, and even their father laughed at the idea of an airplane. "What a silly and insane way to spend money. Leave flying to the birds," they jeered. "Sorry," the Wright brothers responded. "We have a dream, and we can make it happen." As a result, a place called Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, became the setting for the launching of their "ridiculous" idea.
Finally, as you read these accounts under the magnificent lighting of your environment, consider the plight of Benjamin Franklin. He was admonished to stop the foolish experimenting with lighting. What an absurdity and waste of time! Why, nothing could out do the fabulous oil lamp. Thank goodness Franklin knew he could make it happen. You too can make it happen!
The Italian sculptor Agostino d'Antonio worked diligently on a large piece of marble. Unable to produce his desired masterpiece, he lamented, "I can do nothing with it." Other sculptors also worked this difficult piece of marble, but to no avail. Michelangelo discovered the stone and visualized the possibilities in it. His"I-can-make- it-happen" attitude resulted in one of the world's masterpieces - David.
The experts of Spain concluded that Columbus's plans to discover a new and shorter route to the West Indies was virtually impossible. Queen Isabella and King Ferdinand ignored the report of the experts. "I can make it happen," Columbus persisted. And he did. Everyone knew the world was flat, but not Columbus. The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Maria, along with Columbus and his small band of followers, sailed to"impossible" new lands and thriving resources.
Even the great Thomas Alva Edison discouraged his friend, Henry Ford, from pursuing his fledgling idea of a motorcar. Convinced of the worthlessness of the idea, Edison invited Ford to come and work for him. Ford remained committed and tirelessly pursued his dream. Although his first attempt resulted in a vehicle without reverse gear, Henry Ford knew he could make it happen. And, of course, he did.
"Forget it," the experts advised Madame Curie. They agreed radium was a scientifically impossible idea. However, Marie Curie insisted, "I can make it happen."
Let's not forget our friends Orville and Wilbur Wright. Journalists, friends, armed forces specialists, and even their father laughed at the idea of an airplane. "What a silly and insane way to spend money. Leave flying to the birds," they jeered. "Sorry," the Wright brothers responded. "We have a dream, and we can make it happen." As a result, a place called Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, became the setting for the launching of their "ridiculous" idea.
Finally, as you read these accounts under the magnificent lighting of your environment, consider the plight of Benjamin Franklin. He was admonished to stop the foolish experimenting with lighting. What an absurdity and waste of time! Why, nothing could out do the fabulous oil lamp. Thank goodness Franklin knew he could make it happen. You too can make it happen!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
EDGAR A. GUEST: KEEPER OF THE SPRING
The late Peter Marshall was an eloquent speaker and for several years served as the chaplain of the US Senate. He used to love to tell the story of the "Keeper of the Spring," a quiet forest dweller who lived high above an Austrian village along the eastern slope of the Alps. The old gentleman had been hired many years earlier by a young town council man to clear away the debris from the pools of water up in the mountain crevices that fed the lovely spring flowing through their town. With faithful, silent regularity, he patrolled the hills, removed the leaves and branches, and wiped away the silt that would otherwise have choked and contaminated the fresh flow of water. The village soon became a popular attraction for vacationers. Graceful swans floated along the crystal clear spring, the mill wheels of various businesses located near the water turned day and night, farmlands were naturally irrigated, and the view from restaurants was picturesque beyond description. Years passed. One evening the town council met for its semiannual meeting. As they reviewed the budget, one man's eye caught the salary figure being paid the obscure keeper of the spring. Said the keeper of the purse, "Who is the old man? Why do we keep him on year after year? No one ever sees him. For all we know, the strange ranger of the hills is doing us no good. He isn't necessary any longer." By a unanimous vote, they dispensed with the old man's services. For several weeks, nothing changed. By early autumn, the trees began to shed their leaves. Small branches snapped of and fell into the pools, hindering the rushing flow of sparkling water.
One afternoon someone noticed a slight yellowish-brown tint in the spring. A few days later, the water was much darker. Within another week, a slimy film covered sections of the water along the banks, and a foul odor was soon detected. The mill wheels moved more slowly, some finally ground to a halt. Swans left,as did the tourists. Clammy fingers of disease and sickness reached deeply into the village. Quickly, the embarrassed council called a special meeting. Realizingtheir gross error in judgment, they rehired the old keeper of the spring, and within a few weeks, the veritable river of life began toclear up. The wheels started to turn, and new life returned to the hamlet in the Alps. Never become discouraged with the seeming smallness of your task, job,or life. Cling fast to the words of Edward Everett Hale: "I am onlyone, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can dosomething; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to dosomething I can do. " The key to accomplishment is believing that whatyou can do will make a difference.
One afternoon someone noticed a slight yellowish-brown tint in the spring. A few days later, the water was much darker. Within another week, a slimy film covered sections of the water along the banks, and a foul odor was soon detected. The mill wheels moved more slowly, some finally ground to a halt. Swans left,as did the tourists. Clammy fingers of disease and sickness reached deeply into the village. Quickly, the embarrassed council called a special meeting. Realizingtheir gross error in judgment, they rehired the old keeper of the spring, and within a few weeks, the veritable river of life began toclear up. The wheels started to turn, and new life returned to the hamlet in the Alps. Never become discouraged with the seeming smallness of your task, job,or life. Cling fast to the words of Edward Everett Hale: "I am onlyone, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can dosomething; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to dosomething I can do. " The key to accomplishment is believing that whatyou can do will make a difference.
Monday, October 20, 2008
HOW TO TALK TO ANYBODY, ANYTIME.
You know the situation: There you are at a business or social function and you end up with someone who you have never met before. Some people get amazingly uncomfortable with this situation because they simply don’t know how to start or carry on a conversation. Yet successful people are always going to find themselves in these kinds of situations because they are always stretching themselves and putting themselves into situations to help them and their businesses grow and that means meeting new people. So if you are going to be successful, one thing you have to get down is how to talk to anybody, anytime. Good news: It is easier than you think!
First, a couple of things not to do. One, don’t get flustered and excuse yourself. That is the easy way out, and you never know if you didn’t just leave who would have become your best friend or closest business associate. Stick around! Secondly, don’t start talking about yourself. Sure, introduce yourself, but don’t launch into a half-hour monologue about your accomplishments. The other person will either roll their eyes back into their head or simply give you a new nickname: Joe “let me tell you a story about myself” Schmoe. This leads me to the key.
Talk about the person you have just met. Don’t talk about yourself – talk about them! And the key is to ask questions. Now, there are obviously some people you just will not be able to talk to because they are absolute bores or they are angry or upset or something, but I have found that that is only about 1% of the people, if even that. For the most part, if you persist in asking questions, you will be able to talk to anybody, anytime.
There are three segments to this process:
Ask questions.Find connections.Go in those directions.What you are trying to do is to find common ground. What makes people afraid to talk to others is that they are afraid they won’t have anything in common. I have found that usually, if you ask questions for a minute or two, you can always find a connection with someone, and then you’re set. The worst that could happen is that you ask the person questions for a few minutes and find nothing. But what will that person tell others? That you seem to have a genuine interest in others. That is a great reputation to have!
That is another key here. You can’t be a selfish, arrogant person and be successful. I am talking true well-rounded success, not just collecting a pot full of money.
The best way to describe this process is to write out a mock conversation. You will notice the kinds of questions I would ask, when I find a connection, and how I would go in that direction.
“Hi, I’m Chris. What is your name?”
“Joe.”“Well, Joe, what do you do for a living?”
“I sell insurance.” (Possible connection here. Everybody has insurance)
“Oh yeah? What kind of insurance?”
“I insure Oil rigs in the Adriatic Sea.” (Whoops. Lost connection)
“Wow. That’s must be fascinating. Married or kids, Joe?” (I have a wife and kids, maybe we can show pictures)
“No, actually, I’m single.” (It isn’t looking good yet)
“So, who do you know here at the party?”
“Well, nobody. I am the brother of the host’s accountant. I’m in town for a week and my brother had to make an appearance.” (It is going in the wrong direction here)
“So where are you from?”
“Nebraska.” (Bingo, there it is. The connection! Now let’s go in that direction)
“Really? My dad was from Nebraska. Even though he died when I was four, my grandmother used to take me back to visit my relatives every summer growing up. It sure was a lot of fun. Were you city folk, or did you live on a farm?”
“I grew up on a pig farm.”
“That’s what my relatives did! As a kid I always wanted to ride one of those sows. Luckily my uncles never let me attempt it.”
There you are. Now just start asking questions about what they did growing up, how they liked it etc.
If you get adept enough at asking questions of others, you will inevitably find a connection to talk about. And having something in common with someone is the start to a long and mutually beneficial relationship – one of the foundations of success!
I am in a career where I meet new people all the time and this is exactly what I do. I am no better conversationalist than most of you. It is just a proven way of getting a relationship off the ground with someone you have just met.
Here it is again:
Ask questions, find connections, go in those directions.
First, a couple of things not to do. One, don’t get flustered and excuse yourself. That is the easy way out, and you never know if you didn’t just leave who would have become your best friend or closest business associate. Stick around! Secondly, don’t start talking about yourself. Sure, introduce yourself, but don’t launch into a half-hour monologue about your accomplishments. The other person will either roll their eyes back into their head or simply give you a new nickname: Joe “let me tell you a story about myself” Schmoe. This leads me to the key.
Talk about the person you have just met. Don’t talk about yourself – talk about them! And the key is to ask questions. Now, there are obviously some people you just will not be able to talk to because they are absolute bores or they are angry or upset or something, but I have found that that is only about 1% of the people, if even that. For the most part, if you persist in asking questions, you will be able to talk to anybody, anytime.
There are three segments to this process:
Ask questions.Find connections.Go in those directions.What you are trying to do is to find common ground. What makes people afraid to talk to others is that they are afraid they won’t have anything in common. I have found that usually, if you ask questions for a minute or two, you can always find a connection with someone, and then you’re set. The worst that could happen is that you ask the person questions for a few minutes and find nothing. But what will that person tell others? That you seem to have a genuine interest in others. That is a great reputation to have!
That is another key here. You can’t be a selfish, arrogant person and be successful. I am talking true well-rounded success, not just collecting a pot full of money.
The best way to describe this process is to write out a mock conversation. You will notice the kinds of questions I would ask, when I find a connection, and how I would go in that direction.
“Hi, I’m Chris. What is your name?”
“Joe.”“Well, Joe, what do you do for a living?”
“I sell insurance.” (Possible connection here. Everybody has insurance)
“Oh yeah? What kind of insurance?”
“I insure Oil rigs in the Adriatic Sea.” (Whoops. Lost connection)
“Wow. That’s must be fascinating. Married or kids, Joe?” (I have a wife and kids, maybe we can show pictures)
“No, actually, I’m single.” (It isn’t looking good yet)
“So, who do you know here at the party?”
“Well, nobody. I am the brother of the host’s accountant. I’m in town for a week and my brother had to make an appearance.” (It is going in the wrong direction here)
“So where are you from?”
“Nebraska.” (Bingo, there it is. The connection! Now let’s go in that direction)
“Really? My dad was from Nebraska. Even though he died when I was four, my grandmother used to take me back to visit my relatives every summer growing up. It sure was a lot of fun. Were you city folk, or did you live on a farm?”
“I grew up on a pig farm.”
“That’s what my relatives did! As a kid I always wanted to ride one of those sows. Luckily my uncles never let me attempt it.”
There you are. Now just start asking questions about what they did growing up, how they liked it etc.
If you get adept enough at asking questions of others, you will inevitably find a connection to talk about. And having something in common with someone is the start to a long and mutually beneficial relationship – one of the foundations of success!
I am in a career where I meet new people all the time and this is exactly what I do. I am no better conversationalist than most of you. It is just a proven way of getting a relationship off the ground with someone you have just met.
Here it is again:
Ask questions, find connections, go in those directions.
Friday, October 17, 2008
GET INSPIRED
"People with goals succeed because they know where they are going. It's as simple as that." - Earl Nightingale
Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old clichés. Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands-and the first step toward activating it is feeding your mind with positive information. It is a proven fact that 2% of the world's top achievers constantly fill their minds with positive, high-impact content from books, audios and videos. In fact, these top 2% out-earn their equally talented counterparts because they understand the hidden power of setting goals, keeping motivated and working on their communication skills. Jim Rohn says it best, "You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight." I have had the privilege of reading Jim Rohn and dozens of other luminaries in the industry. With a serious financial crisis looming, now more than ever is the time to feed your mind and sharpen your skills.
Success or failure as a human being is not a matter of luck, circumstances, fate, or any of the other tiresome old clichés. Those are only excuses. The power to achieve the life of your dreams is in your hands-and the first step toward activating it is feeding your mind with positive information. It is a proven fact that 2% of the world's top achievers constantly fill their minds with positive, high-impact content from books, audios and videos. In fact, these top 2% out-earn their equally talented counterparts because they understand the hidden power of setting goals, keeping motivated and working on their communication skills. Jim Rohn says it best, "You cannot change your destination overnight, but you can change your direction overnight." I have had the privilege of reading Jim Rohn and dozens of other luminaries in the industry. With a serious financial crisis looming, now more than ever is the time to feed your mind and sharpen your skills.
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
YOUR MEMORY IS FAR BETTER THAN YOU THINK
A Russian journalist named Shereshersky never took or made notes. He could listen to long speeches and recall them line for line. He simply used basic memory principles in everyday life.
Did you know that if you were shown 1000 pictures very quickly, you could with 99 % accuracy; pick those that you have seen before even if they are mixed in 100 new pictures.
Memory techniques are not new; they have existed since the time of the ancient.
Memory is simply a mental activity for recalling information that has been received or experienced. Memory involves three process 1) Receiving 2) Retaining 3) retrieving data, just like computer processors. Like most things, memorizing something is a decision. The brain has an incredible capacity to hold information/data, potential is most times not maximized because most people are lazy, don’t bother or simply don’t want to task their minds. The exception leader should however have the capacity to memorize things. This ability separates the rice from chaff. It spells out an outstanding leader. There are basic and advance memory techniques (mnemonics). The latter is very sophisticated and powerful, but requires a lot of time and effort to be mastered. Strategies for receiving, retaining and retrieving information:
-Reduce distractions: Choose a quiet location.
-Start studying earlier so you have time to rehearse stored information.
-Read with a purpose.
-Take breaks between studying different topics. New memories can interfere with other recently learned information.
-Organize information: Separate them into meaningful groups.
-Deeply process the information: Meditate on it, think about it over and over. You can reverse the learning curve by RECALL. The number of times you recall something from short term memory to long term memory. For example, take the information, about five minutes later, go over it, an hour later, do the same thing, 3 hours later. 6 hours later and 3 times a day for the second and third days. By then it would have been moved to long term memory.
-Use your sense and creativity to enhance storage and retrieval. For example if you are going to the grocery store to buy tomatoes, just imagine that you tripped over a basket of tomatoes and your bum landed on the floor messing up your white kaftan. Now, that is horrific! You’ll most probably laugh at that thought, but most likely will not forget tomatoes.
-Numbering or counting things is also an aid to learning. It helps to check yourself to see if you remember all the items. Use humor! Make up jokes using facts and figures, you need to recall.
-Writing things down can help remember things. It is a form of rehearsal.
-Remembering things by where they are placed is an effective way to trigger memory.
-Peg/Association system. Start by using a structure of something you already know as framework for pegging items. We will incorporate a little bit of exaggeration because the more bizarre and silly things are, the more we take note and remember them.
Let try this. To remember a short list of different things, we’ll use body parts as pegs. You want to remember: Car, Periwinkles, Shoes and Pawpaw.
Put the car on your head, imagine a car on your head and you are trying to keep still so it does not fall off. Imagine suddenly you wake up and your face is in a bucket of live periwinkles crawling around your face.
Tie the shoe strings together and flip them over your shoulder.
Squash the over-ripe pawpaw between your fingers and watch the mess it’s making.
Now sit down and think about these bizarre things. You will see that you can remember the list without going back to where you wrote them. You can use this method to remember a list of things you want to do. Finally employ the help of diaries/day planners, PDA’S, alarm clocks, timers, post it notes and of course assistants. You can chunk the information into smaller numbers of units.
There are factors that significantly affect your memory.
Negative Effects
-Drug and Alcohol
-Fatigue can affect your ability to take incoming information or retrieve stored information.
-Stress and tension feelings of anxiety and/or depression can affect the ability to assimilate or store information and retrieve information.
-Some medical conditions and drugs used for treatment can also affect your memory.
Positive Effects
-Exercise and good health are associated with better brain oxygenation.
-Diet surely plays an important role in memory enhancement, antioxidant for example are unknown as immune boosting properties. They are also key brain boosters, because they improve the flow of oxygen through the body by fighting free radicals.
-Eating foods that are rich in fiber and nutrients also help to resist and combat disease that can affect your memory.
-Some of the best foods for memory enhancement include: sweet potatoes, black currants, blue berries, watermelon, cantaloupe tomatoes, Red cabbage, Straw berries, and Olive oil.
More tips
- Pay attention to what you are learning and decide to remember it.
- Storage seems to increase if we pronounce the names of the items aloud.
- Teach someone else what you have learnt. You are reciting and understanding it some more when you teach.
- Make notes and remember the 7 items is the maximum your short term memory can hold per time.
- Go over what you want to buy, people you want to see and so on. Whatever the list might be you will get used to using it and get better at it.
QUOTE FOR TODAY
“Nature gave men two ends… one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man’s success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.” – George R. Kilpatrick
Did you know that if you were shown 1000 pictures very quickly, you could with 99 % accuracy; pick those that you have seen before even if they are mixed in 100 new pictures.
Memory techniques are not new; they have existed since the time of the ancient.
Memory is simply a mental activity for recalling information that has been received or experienced. Memory involves three process 1) Receiving 2) Retaining 3) retrieving data, just like computer processors. Like most things, memorizing something is a decision. The brain has an incredible capacity to hold information/data, potential is most times not maximized because most people are lazy, don’t bother or simply don’t want to task their minds. The exception leader should however have the capacity to memorize things. This ability separates the rice from chaff. It spells out an outstanding leader. There are basic and advance memory techniques (mnemonics). The latter is very sophisticated and powerful, but requires a lot of time and effort to be mastered. Strategies for receiving, retaining and retrieving information:
-Reduce distractions: Choose a quiet location.
-Start studying earlier so you have time to rehearse stored information.
-Read with a purpose.
-Take breaks between studying different topics. New memories can interfere with other recently learned information.
-Organize information: Separate them into meaningful groups.
-Deeply process the information: Meditate on it, think about it over and over. You can reverse the learning curve by RECALL. The number of times you recall something from short term memory to long term memory. For example, take the information, about five minutes later, go over it, an hour later, do the same thing, 3 hours later. 6 hours later and 3 times a day for the second and third days. By then it would have been moved to long term memory.
-Use your sense and creativity to enhance storage and retrieval. For example if you are going to the grocery store to buy tomatoes, just imagine that you tripped over a basket of tomatoes and your bum landed on the floor messing up your white kaftan. Now, that is horrific! You’ll most probably laugh at that thought, but most likely will not forget tomatoes.
-Numbering or counting things is also an aid to learning. It helps to check yourself to see if you remember all the items. Use humor! Make up jokes using facts and figures, you need to recall.
-Writing things down can help remember things. It is a form of rehearsal.
-Remembering things by where they are placed is an effective way to trigger memory.
-Peg/Association system. Start by using a structure of something you already know as framework for pegging items. We will incorporate a little bit of exaggeration because the more bizarre and silly things are, the more we take note and remember them.
Let try this. To remember a short list of different things, we’ll use body parts as pegs. You want to remember: Car, Periwinkles, Shoes and Pawpaw.
Put the car on your head, imagine a car on your head and you are trying to keep still so it does not fall off. Imagine suddenly you wake up and your face is in a bucket of live periwinkles crawling around your face.
Tie the shoe strings together and flip them over your shoulder.
Squash the over-ripe pawpaw between your fingers and watch the mess it’s making.
Now sit down and think about these bizarre things. You will see that you can remember the list without going back to where you wrote them. You can use this method to remember a list of things you want to do. Finally employ the help of diaries/day planners, PDA’S, alarm clocks, timers, post it notes and of course assistants. You can chunk the information into smaller numbers of units.
There are factors that significantly affect your memory.
Negative Effects
-Drug and Alcohol
-Fatigue can affect your ability to take incoming information or retrieve stored information.
-Stress and tension feelings of anxiety and/or depression can affect the ability to assimilate or store information and retrieve information.
-Some medical conditions and drugs used for treatment can also affect your memory.
Positive Effects
-Exercise and good health are associated with better brain oxygenation.
-Diet surely plays an important role in memory enhancement, antioxidant for example are unknown as immune boosting properties. They are also key brain boosters, because they improve the flow of oxygen through the body by fighting free radicals.
-Eating foods that are rich in fiber and nutrients also help to resist and combat disease that can affect your memory.
-Some of the best foods for memory enhancement include: sweet potatoes, black currants, blue berries, watermelon, cantaloupe tomatoes, Red cabbage, Straw berries, and Olive oil.
More tips
- Pay attention to what you are learning and decide to remember it.
- Storage seems to increase if we pronounce the names of the items aloud.
- Teach someone else what you have learnt. You are reciting and understanding it some more when you teach.
- Make notes and remember the 7 items is the maximum your short term memory can hold per time.
- Go over what you want to buy, people you want to see and so on. Whatever the list might be you will get used to using it and get better at it.
QUOTE FOR TODAY
“Nature gave men two ends… one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man’s success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.” – George R. Kilpatrick
Monday, October 13, 2008
GETTING OVER FEAR AND ON WITH YOUR LIFE
One of the things that I have found to be common in so many people is fear. Fear is something that cripples people and keeps them from pursuing and reaching their dreams. This does not have to be so! I truly believe that a person does not have to have fear in their life. I can honestly say that I do not have any fear in my life. Now, I am not perfect by any means but fear is not something I have because I have dealt with it.
The main reason I do not have fear is because I have come to grips with the concepts surrounding fear. I have understood fear, primarily from two angles. The first angle is psychologically and the second angle is theologically. You see, I think that if we address the issues of life and the fears we experience from both a good understanding of psychology and theology, then I believe we can be free from fear.
Psychology is the study of the mind and that is where most of our fears take place. Theology is the understanding of God and the world we live in as it relates to God and what takes place in this world. I know from personal experience, that as we settle just a few basic issues, we can be free from fear. A few weeks ago I spoke to a group on fear and here are a few of the insights I gave them on how they can get over their fears and get on with their lives. Look and see how each one of these principles fits either psychology or theology.
Disciplining your thoughts. Fear is an action of the mind. Fear is a use, or better said, misuse, of the imagination. In reality, when you fear something, you are simply choosing to imagine a future happening. You are fearful that your spouse will divorce you (future), or that the snake will bite you (future – it hasn’t yet), or that you will lose your job (future – you still have it). So when we fear, we are simply letting our minds imagine a bad future. That is what fear is! Imagining a bad future. So what is the answer?
Well, there are two things you can do. One would be to imagine a good future. The other would be to stop thinking about the future and just take one day at a time. If you are a fearful person, either one of these would be preferable to living in the prison you currently live in. The principle remains true in that we have to discipline our minds and choose not to think about a bad future. We can do that. We can choose our thoughts. It just takes discipline.
Accepting the realities of life. Much of what people fear are the realities of life. Some may think this cold, but people die, people lose jobs, people choose to do crazy things in relationships etc. There is nothing you can do about that. Period. For example, I know many fearful mothers who won’t let their children play in the front yard because they are afraid the kids will get kidnapped. Now, what should they do? Do everything they can to make it safe and then let their kids play in the front yard! Some people are afraid they will go bankrupt or broke and worry endlessly about it. What should they do? Work hard, save, invest and live life. Could someone get kidnapped? Yes. Could you go bankrupt? Yes. These things happen and all you can do is work to make your life what it can be and accept that sometimes things happen, even tragic things. If they happen, you experience the pain and emotion then – there is no sense forcing yourself to experience it before it happens – IF it happens! This is a mental adjustment that we make that enables us to get over fear.
Give yourself good information. Much of what we fear is irrational and not based on good information. For example, someone afraid of snakes will scream when they see a gardener snake, even though the reality is that there is absolutely nothing that snake can do to them! Take the time to educate yourself about whatever it is you fear and see if that doesn’t help you gain the mental edge you need.
Taking control only of those things you can control. There are things you can control and things you can’t. Much of what we fear is out of our hands and we can’t control it. You can’t control if your spouse leaves you. You can control how you treat your spouse. You can’t control a downturn in the economy. You can control whether you save for a rainy day or not. You can’t control whether or not you will get a fatal disease. You can control whether you eat right and exercise. You can’t control how your kids will turn out. You can control how you raise them, what kind of example you set, and what you teach them. You can’t control how others will treat you. You can control how you will treat others. Control what you can control, and let go of the rest.
Trusting that God is in control, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Here is where theology comes in. There is an old theological term called “sovereignty,” that basically means, “God is in control of the universe.” I believe that. Basic to my understanding of God is that God is in control of the universe (God better be, because I’m certainly not – and wouldn’t want to be!). Now there is a fundamental difference between believing that God is in control and trusting that God is at the helm. There is a difference between believing that ultimately God is calling the shots and actually liking the shots that God calls. I think one of the overriding principles of life that we can embrace that will help us overcome fear is that we can relinquish control and trust that someone greater than us is fully aware of what is happening on this earth and in our lives. I for one leave a lot of my fears on this theological hook.
These are some basic points that I use to shape my heart and mind so that I don’t have to spend my life in fear. There are a few others as well, I am sure, and many you probably use yourself, but for now, this should be enough to chew on. Getting over fear is an issue of the mind and the spirit and, believe me, the battle over fear can be won!
The main reason I do not have fear is because I have come to grips with the concepts surrounding fear. I have understood fear, primarily from two angles. The first angle is psychologically and the second angle is theologically. You see, I think that if we address the issues of life and the fears we experience from both a good understanding of psychology and theology, then I believe we can be free from fear.
Psychology is the study of the mind and that is where most of our fears take place. Theology is the understanding of God and the world we live in as it relates to God and what takes place in this world. I know from personal experience, that as we settle just a few basic issues, we can be free from fear. A few weeks ago I spoke to a group on fear and here are a few of the insights I gave them on how they can get over their fears and get on with their lives. Look and see how each one of these principles fits either psychology or theology.
Disciplining your thoughts. Fear is an action of the mind. Fear is a use, or better said, misuse, of the imagination. In reality, when you fear something, you are simply choosing to imagine a future happening. You are fearful that your spouse will divorce you (future), or that the snake will bite you (future – it hasn’t yet), or that you will lose your job (future – you still have it). So when we fear, we are simply letting our minds imagine a bad future. That is what fear is! Imagining a bad future. So what is the answer?
Well, there are two things you can do. One would be to imagine a good future. The other would be to stop thinking about the future and just take one day at a time. If you are a fearful person, either one of these would be preferable to living in the prison you currently live in. The principle remains true in that we have to discipline our minds and choose not to think about a bad future. We can do that. We can choose our thoughts. It just takes discipline.
Accepting the realities of life. Much of what people fear are the realities of life. Some may think this cold, but people die, people lose jobs, people choose to do crazy things in relationships etc. There is nothing you can do about that. Period. For example, I know many fearful mothers who won’t let their children play in the front yard because they are afraid the kids will get kidnapped. Now, what should they do? Do everything they can to make it safe and then let their kids play in the front yard! Some people are afraid they will go bankrupt or broke and worry endlessly about it. What should they do? Work hard, save, invest and live life. Could someone get kidnapped? Yes. Could you go bankrupt? Yes. These things happen and all you can do is work to make your life what it can be and accept that sometimes things happen, even tragic things. If they happen, you experience the pain and emotion then – there is no sense forcing yourself to experience it before it happens – IF it happens! This is a mental adjustment that we make that enables us to get over fear.
Give yourself good information. Much of what we fear is irrational and not based on good information. For example, someone afraid of snakes will scream when they see a gardener snake, even though the reality is that there is absolutely nothing that snake can do to them! Take the time to educate yourself about whatever it is you fear and see if that doesn’t help you gain the mental edge you need.
Taking control only of those things you can control. There are things you can control and things you can’t. Much of what we fear is out of our hands and we can’t control it. You can’t control if your spouse leaves you. You can control how you treat your spouse. You can’t control a downturn in the economy. You can control whether you save for a rainy day or not. You can’t control whether or not you will get a fatal disease. You can control whether you eat right and exercise. You can’t control how your kids will turn out. You can control how you raise them, what kind of example you set, and what you teach them. You can’t control how others will treat you. You can control how you will treat others. Control what you can control, and let go of the rest.
Trusting that God is in control, even when it doesn’t seem like it. Here is where theology comes in. There is an old theological term called “sovereignty,” that basically means, “God is in control of the universe.” I believe that. Basic to my understanding of God is that God is in control of the universe (God better be, because I’m certainly not – and wouldn’t want to be!). Now there is a fundamental difference between believing that God is in control and trusting that God is at the helm. There is a difference between believing that ultimately God is calling the shots and actually liking the shots that God calls. I think one of the overriding principles of life that we can embrace that will help us overcome fear is that we can relinquish control and trust that someone greater than us is fully aware of what is happening on this earth and in our lives. I for one leave a lot of my fears on this theological hook.
These are some basic points that I use to shape my heart and mind so that I don’t have to spend my life in fear. There are a few others as well, I am sure, and many you probably use yourself, but for now, this should be enough to chew on. Getting over fear is an issue of the mind and the spirit and, believe me, the battle over fear can be won!
Friday, October 10, 2008
THE POWER OF CHARISMA
Become An Irresistible Person
Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines charisma as "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure."Develop Personal MagnetismCharisma is also that special quality of magnetism that each person has and that each person uses to a certain degree. You have a special charisma to the people who look up to you, who respect and admire you, the members of your family and your friends and coworkers. Whenever and wherever a person feels a positive emotion toward another, he imbues that person with charisma, or attractiveness.
Project Yourself Positively
In trying to explain charisma, some people speak of an "aura." This aura is a light that is invisible to most people, but not to everyone, and that radiates out from a person and affects the people around that person in a positive or negative way. The halo around the heads of saints and mystics in many religious paintings was the artist's attempt to depict the light that people reported seeing around the heads of these men and women when they were speaking or praying, or in an intense emotional state.
Control the Impression You Make
You also have an aura around you that most people cannot see but that is there, nevertheless. This aura affects the way people react and respond to you, either positively or negatively. There is a lot that you can do, and a lot of good reasons for you to do it, to control this aura and make it work in your best interests.
Sell Your Way to the Top
If you're in sales, this aura, reflecting your level of charisma, can have a major impact on the way your prospects and customers treat you and deal with you. Top salespeople seem to be far more successful than the average salespeople in getting along with their customers. They're always more welcome, more positively received and more trusted than the others. They sell more, and they sell more easily. They make a better living, and they build better lives. Salespeople with charisma get far more pleasure out of their work and suffer far less from stress and rejection. The charismatic salesperson is almost invariably a top performer in his field and enjoys all the rewards that go with superior sales.
Influence People Around You
If you're in business, developing greater charisma can help you tremendously in working with your staff, your suppliers, your bankers, your customers and everyone else upon whom you depend for your success. People seem naturally drawn to those who possess charisma.They want to help them and support them. When you have charisma, people will open doors for you and bring you opportunities that otherwise would not have been available to you.
Enhance Your Personal Relationships
In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life more joyous, happier. People will naturally want to be around you. Members of your family and your friends will be far happier in your company, and you will have a greater influence on them, causing them to feel better about themselves and to do better at the important things in their lives.
Action Exercises
First, identify the people with whom you seem to have a lot of charisma - the people who know you, like you, respect you the most. How could you increase your charisma with these people?Second, identify the people who have charisma to you, the people you most like and respect and admire. What is there about them that you could copy or emulate? If you think charisma, you'll have more of it.
Webster's Ninth New Collegiate Dictionary defines charisma as "a personal magic of leadership arousing special popular loyalty or enthusiasm for a public figure."Develop Personal MagnetismCharisma is also that special quality of magnetism that each person has and that each person uses to a certain degree. You have a special charisma to the people who look up to you, who respect and admire you, the members of your family and your friends and coworkers. Whenever and wherever a person feels a positive emotion toward another, he imbues that person with charisma, or attractiveness.
Project Yourself Positively
In trying to explain charisma, some people speak of an "aura." This aura is a light that is invisible to most people, but not to everyone, and that radiates out from a person and affects the people around that person in a positive or negative way. The halo around the heads of saints and mystics in many religious paintings was the artist's attempt to depict the light that people reported seeing around the heads of these men and women when they were speaking or praying, or in an intense emotional state.
Control the Impression You Make
You also have an aura around you that most people cannot see but that is there, nevertheless. This aura affects the way people react and respond to you, either positively or negatively. There is a lot that you can do, and a lot of good reasons for you to do it, to control this aura and make it work in your best interests.
Sell Your Way to the Top
If you're in sales, this aura, reflecting your level of charisma, can have a major impact on the way your prospects and customers treat you and deal with you. Top salespeople seem to be far more successful than the average salespeople in getting along with their customers. They're always more welcome, more positively received and more trusted than the others. They sell more, and they sell more easily. They make a better living, and they build better lives. Salespeople with charisma get far more pleasure out of their work and suffer far less from stress and rejection. The charismatic salesperson is almost invariably a top performer in his field and enjoys all the rewards that go with superior sales.
Influence People Around You
If you're in business, developing greater charisma can help you tremendously in working with your staff, your suppliers, your bankers, your customers and everyone else upon whom you depend for your success. People seem naturally drawn to those who possess charisma.They want to help them and support them. When you have charisma, people will open doors for you and bring you opportunities that otherwise would not have been available to you.
Enhance Your Personal Relationships
In your personal relationships, the quality of charisma can make your life more joyous, happier. People will naturally want to be around you. Members of your family and your friends will be far happier in your company, and you will have a greater influence on them, causing them to feel better about themselves and to do better at the important things in their lives.
Action Exercises
First, identify the people with whom you seem to have a lot of charisma - the people who know you, like you, respect you the most. How could you increase your charisma with these people?Second, identify the people who have charisma to you, the people you most like and respect and admire. What is there about them that you could copy or emulate? If you think charisma, you'll have more of it.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
AFFIRMATIONS AND AFFIRMATIVE PRAYER
In the history of belief management, one of the primary tools taught and used has been the simple affirmation. For those who aren't familiar with this term, an affirmation is a statement of what you'd like to experience, stated as though it were already true. An affirmative prayer is a series of affirmations involving a Divine Being. In some respects, using affirmations is pretending on a purely mental level.
In actual fact, everyone uses affirmations whether we realize it or not. Any time we make a statement, we are 'affirming' it'struth. In most cases, this is not pretending, but merely expressing a current belief. As mentioned earlier, we can listento what we say during a day to find out much of what we nowbelieve. Because what we say generally matches what we believe, our minds grow to associate one with the other. We can use this established relationship in reverse to reshape our beliefs. It's like how you can feel more energized and confident by standing upstraight and pulling your shoulders back. Normally, your postureresponds to your feelings, but you can change how you feel bychanging your posture. Your mind associates feelings and postureso that either one can control the other. The same is true with speech and beliefs. Your mind associates what you say with whatyou believe.You've probably heard the joke about the guy who told a lie so often he started to believe it himself. This demonstrates howour minds work. We learn by repetition. When we hear an idea expressed often enough, even one we initially know is false, we eventually reach a point of acceptance and start to wonder if the idea could be true.
When the idea is expressed further, we nolonger wonder if it might be true because we genuinely believe itto be true.The common practice of using affirmations starts by creating a statement of the desired results. Many of those who teach this technique will suggest that the affirmation must be stated inpresent tense and be phrased positively, as in "I will" ratherthan "I won't." The reasoning for this is based on scientific studies proving that our inner (subconscious) mind interpretseverything in present tense and reacts to everything stated,including those things preceded by the word 'not'. (As in "DoNOT think of a pink elephant wearing a lacy tutu.")While these guidelines do help, they are not absolutely necessary. I have seen many people successfully use affirmationssuch as "I won't get that job." and "I bet it's going to rain onour picnic tomorrow." Unfortunately, these affirmations are about experiences we'd rather avoid than attract. Either way, the reinforced beliefs produce results just as reliably as any other type of affirmation.
For those readers who have not come across this idea before, here are some examples of how affirmations should be phrased formaximum effectiveness:
* - I do well on tests. My mind relaxes and recalls easily the answers to all questions. I am proud of my results.
* - Money comes easily to me. I am a fountain of great ideas that produce abundant wealth. I am able to gain the cooperation of others where needed because they enjoy helping me succeed.
* - I am a NON-smoker. I breathe clean, fresh air. I am able to calm my nerves simply by setting an intention to do so. Like all non-smokers, I am more attractive than those who put disgusting cigarettes into their mouths.
As you can see, good affirmations state positive beliefs about what is desired, as if it is a current reality. The best affirmations state the desired result as if it happens on it's own without effort or attention. Emotion adds extra power. Once an affirmation is created, your job is to repeat it often toyourself, out loud if possible. The more you repeat your affirmation, the more you get used to the idea, and the more familiar an idea is, the easier it is to believe. Speaking your affirmation out loud adds the experience of hearing the words, giving the overall experience more dimension and greater substance. Writing the words on paper adds two extra dimensions- sight and physical movement. Each dimension added increases the affirmation's effect on your beliefs. Measure the strength of your belief before you begin with aquestion such as "Do I believe that I will _________?" (fillingin the blank with your current goal), and then ask the same question again after repeating your affirmation several times.You'll notice the strength of your belief will shift and change.
In actual fact, everyone uses affirmations whether we realize it or not. Any time we make a statement, we are 'affirming' it'struth. In most cases, this is not pretending, but merely expressing a current belief. As mentioned earlier, we can listento what we say during a day to find out much of what we nowbelieve. Because what we say generally matches what we believe, our minds grow to associate one with the other. We can use this established relationship in reverse to reshape our beliefs. It's like how you can feel more energized and confident by standing upstraight and pulling your shoulders back. Normally, your postureresponds to your feelings, but you can change how you feel bychanging your posture. Your mind associates feelings and postureso that either one can control the other. The same is true with speech and beliefs. Your mind associates what you say with whatyou believe.You've probably heard the joke about the guy who told a lie so often he started to believe it himself. This demonstrates howour minds work. We learn by repetition. When we hear an idea expressed often enough, even one we initially know is false, we eventually reach a point of acceptance and start to wonder if the idea could be true.
When the idea is expressed further, we nolonger wonder if it might be true because we genuinely believe itto be true.The common practice of using affirmations starts by creating a statement of the desired results. Many of those who teach this technique will suggest that the affirmation must be stated inpresent tense and be phrased positively, as in "I will" ratherthan "I won't." The reasoning for this is based on scientific studies proving that our inner (subconscious) mind interpretseverything in present tense and reacts to everything stated,including those things preceded by the word 'not'. (As in "DoNOT think of a pink elephant wearing a lacy tutu.")While these guidelines do help, they are not absolutely necessary. I have seen many people successfully use affirmationssuch as "I won't get that job." and "I bet it's going to rain onour picnic tomorrow." Unfortunately, these affirmations are about experiences we'd rather avoid than attract. Either way, the reinforced beliefs produce results just as reliably as any other type of affirmation.
For those readers who have not come across this idea before, here are some examples of how affirmations should be phrased formaximum effectiveness:
* - I do well on tests. My mind relaxes and recalls easily the answers to all questions. I am proud of my results.
* - Money comes easily to me. I am a fountain of great ideas that produce abundant wealth. I am able to gain the cooperation of others where needed because they enjoy helping me succeed.
* - I am a NON-smoker. I breathe clean, fresh air. I am able to calm my nerves simply by setting an intention to do so. Like all non-smokers, I am more attractive than those who put disgusting cigarettes into their mouths.
As you can see, good affirmations state positive beliefs about what is desired, as if it is a current reality. The best affirmations state the desired result as if it happens on it's own without effort or attention. Emotion adds extra power. Once an affirmation is created, your job is to repeat it often toyourself, out loud if possible. The more you repeat your affirmation, the more you get used to the idea, and the more familiar an idea is, the easier it is to believe. Speaking your affirmation out loud adds the experience of hearing the words, giving the overall experience more dimension and greater substance. Writing the words on paper adds two extra dimensions- sight and physical movement. Each dimension added increases the affirmation's effect on your beliefs. Measure the strength of your belief before you begin with aquestion such as "Do I believe that I will _________?" (fillingin the blank with your current goal), and then ask the same question again after repeating your affirmation several times.You'll notice the strength of your belief will shift and change.
Monday, October 6, 2008
TAKE YOURSELF TO THE TOP!
Everybody wants to get to the top, whether it is the top of a career, a company, the earnings scale, or the many other ways that we as individuals can define the “top” in our own lives! But with so many people trying to get to the top, how come so many people aren’t moving up? I think there are some fundamental reasons why. Reasons that can be addressed and changed!
What are some things you can do to get to the top?Here are some thoughts for you this week!
First of all, define what the “top” means for you.
This is extremely important because if you don’t know where you are going, you will never get there! Some people don’t want to be the CEO of the company. In fact, many think they are better off then the CEO even though they don’t make as much money. Instead, they think they are at the top because of less stress, weekends with their families, etc, and I see their point. It doesn’t matter what others think is the top, only what you do, since you are only gauging whether or not YOU get there! So where is it for you? That is the first question for you to answer.
Be passionate about your goal.
Passion is the energy that drives us, or, as Alexander Pope said, passions are the “gales of life.” Passion is the wind in the sales of work. Find some thing you love and you will find something you can get to the top of. If you don’t love it, you may still make it to the top, though highly unlikely. And even if you do, there will be no joy. Let your passion carry you, because it will carry you far! Thomas Fuller put it this way: A man with passion rides a horse that runs away with him.
The will to continue in the face of hardship.
Another reason most will not get to the top is because they simply refuse to scale the mountains of hardship that separate them from the top. If you want to get to the beautiful view from the top, you will have to climb over any obstacles. Instead, many choose to stay at base camp!
One would think that Bjorn Borg, one of the greatest tennis players to ever live, would consider his skill his greatest asset. Instead, this is what he says, "My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. However down I am, I fight until the last ball. My list of matches shows that I have turned a great many so-called irretrievable defeats into victories."
Continue until you get to the top!
Love people and treat them right.
What? Love people? That’s right! Why? Because if you are going to get to the top, you are going to need other people. Be a jerk and you will find people dragging their feet on you. Treat them right and you will find them helping you and even cheering you on!
Master the appropriate skills.
Average skills will get you to the middle. Top skills will get you to the TOP! This is most assuredly true when combined with the points above. Are you achieving excellence in the skills you need? Are you growing day by day, month by month, year by year? You can always get better and getting better will take you closer to the top! Even if you only improve a little, you can keep improving that small amount and it will eventually become a big amount! Demand the best from yourself and you will get to the top. Remember the words of Jose Ortega y Gasset: "We distinguish the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is the one who makes great demands on himself, and the latter who makes no demands on himself."
-Define the Top
-Be Passionate
-Persevere
-Love others
-Skill Mastery!
These will take you to the top!
What are some things you can do to get to the top?Here are some thoughts for you this week!
First of all, define what the “top” means for you.
This is extremely important because if you don’t know where you are going, you will never get there! Some people don’t want to be the CEO of the company. In fact, many think they are better off then the CEO even though they don’t make as much money. Instead, they think they are at the top because of less stress, weekends with their families, etc, and I see their point. It doesn’t matter what others think is the top, only what you do, since you are only gauging whether or not YOU get there! So where is it for you? That is the first question for you to answer.
Be passionate about your goal.
Passion is the energy that drives us, or, as Alexander Pope said, passions are the “gales of life.” Passion is the wind in the sales of work. Find some thing you love and you will find something you can get to the top of. If you don’t love it, you may still make it to the top, though highly unlikely. And even if you do, there will be no joy. Let your passion carry you, because it will carry you far! Thomas Fuller put it this way: A man with passion rides a horse that runs away with him.
The will to continue in the face of hardship.
Another reason most will not get to the top is because they simply refuse to scale the mountains of hardship that separate them from the top. If you want to get to the beautiful view from the top, you will have to climb over any obstacles. Instead, many choose to stay at base camp!
One would think that Bjorn Borg, one of the greatest tennis players to ever live, would consider his skill his greatest asset. Instead, this is what he says, "My greatest point is my persistence. I never give up in a match. However down I am, I fight until the last ball. My list of matches shows that I have turned a great many so-called irretrievable defeats into victories."
Continue until you get to the top!
Love people and treat them right.
What? Love people? That’s right! Why? Because if you are going to get to the top, you are going to need other people. Be a jerk and you will find people dragging their feet on you. Treat them right and you will find them helping you and even cheering you on!
Master the appropriate skills.
Average skills will get you to the middle. Top skills will get you to the TOP! This is most assuredly true when combined with the points above. Are you achieving excellence in the skills you need? Are you growing day by day, month by month, year by year? You can always get better and getting better will take you closer to the top! Even if you only improve a little, you can keep improving that small amount and it will eventually become a big amount! Demand the best from yourself and you will get to the top. Remember the words of Jose Ortega y Gasset: "We distinguish the excellent man from the common man by saying that the former is the one who makes great demands on himself, and the latter who makes no demands on himself."
-Define the Top
-Be Passionate
-Persevere
-Love others
-Skill Mastery!
These will take you to the top!
Friday, October 3, 2008
SETTING YOUR GOALS
I have found that they all have one thing in common. They have taken the time to sit down and create a clear blueprint for themselves and their future lives. Even if they started the process of goal setting and personal strategic planning with a little skepticism, every one of them has become a true believer.Becoming a True BelieverEvery one of them has been amazed at the incredible power of goal setting and strategic planning. Every one of them has accomplished far more than they ever believed possible in selling and they ascribe their success to the deliberate process of thinking through every aspect of their work and their lives, and then developing a detailed, written road map to get them to where they wanted to go.
The Definition of Happiness
Happiness has been defined as, "The progressive achievement of a worthy ideal, or goal." When you are working progressively, step-by-step toward something that is important to you, you generate within yourself a continuous feeling of success and achievement.You feel more positive and motivated. You feel more in control of your own life. You feel happier and more fulfilled. You feel like a winner, and you soon develop the psychological momentum that enables you to overcome obstacles and plough through adversity as you move toward achieving the goals that are most important to you.
Determine Your Values
Personal strategic planning begins with your determining what it is you believe in and stand for-your values. Your values lie at the very core of everything you are as a human being. Your values are the unifying principles and core beliefs of your personality and your character. The virtues and qualities that you stand for are what constitute the person you have become from the beginning of your life to this moment. Your values, virtues and inner beliefs are the axle around which the wheel of your life turns. All improvement in your life begins with you clarifying your true values and then committing yourself to live consistent with them.
Fuzzy or Clear?
Successful people are successful because they are very clear about their values. Unsuccessful people are fuzzy or unsure. Complete failures have no real values at all.
Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Values clarification is the beginning exercise in building self-confidence, self-esteem and personal character. When you take the time to think through your fundamental values, and then commit yourself to living your life consistent with them, you feel a surge of mental strength and well-being. You feel stronger and more capable. You feel more centered in the universe and more competent of accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, decide for yourself what makes you truly happy and then organize your life around it. Write down your goals and make plans to achieve them.
Second, begin with your values by deciding what it is you stand for and believe in. Commit yourself to live consistent with your inner most convictions - and you'll never make another mistake.
The Definition of Happiness
Happiness has been defined as, "The progressive achievement of a worthy ideal, or goal." When you are working progressively, step-by-step toward something that is important to you, you generate within yourself a continuous feeling of success and achievement.You feel more positive and motivated. You feel more in control of your own life. You feel happier and more fulfilled. You feel like a winner, and you soon develop the psychological momentum that enables you to overcome obstacles and plough through adversity as you move toward achieving the goals that are most important to you.
Determine Your Values
Personal strategic planning begins with your determining what it is you believe in and stand for-your values. Your values lie at the very core of everything you are as a human being. Your values are the unifying principles and core beliefs of your personality and your character. The virtues and qualities that you stand for are what constitute the person you have become from the beginning of your life to this moment. Your values, virtues and inner beliefs are the axle around which the wheel of your life turns. All improvement in your life begins with you clarifying your true values and then committing yourself to live consistent with them.
Fuzzy or Clear?
Successful people are successful because they are very clear about their values. Unsuccessful people are fuzzy or unsure. Complete failures have no real values at all.
Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Values clarification is the beginning exercise in building self-confidence, self-esteem and personal character. When you take the time to think through your fundamental values, and then commit yourself to living your life consistent with them, you feel a surge of mental strength and well-being. You feel stronger and more capable. You feel more centered in the universe and more competent of accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, decide for yourself what makes you truly happy and then organize your life around it. Write down your goals and make plans to achieve them.
Second, begin with your values by deciding what it is you stand for and believe in. Commit yourself to live consistent with your inner most convictions - and you'll never make another mistake.
Thursday, October 2, 2008
CREATIVE PRETENDING
We can make creative day dreaming more effective for changing beliefs when we bring the day dream into the real world and act it out. This makes a stronger impression on our inner mind and thus builds a stronger belief. It's also more fun!
Every animal species on this planet has inborn instincts leading them to live healthy and fulfilling lives. Squirrels have an instinct to bury nuts in the Fall in preparation for Winter. Birds have an instinct to build nests in which to lay eggs. Salmon and penguins have an instinct to return to their place of birth to produce the next generation. Humans have an instinct to pretend to be something we would like to become. As children, we had a natural tendency to pretend. We imitated those people and characters we admired. We imagined what it would be like to live as they lived, testing our own boundaries and limitations to see if we could push past them and become something more than we were.
But somewhere along the way, most of us stopped. We were taught that pretending was just for kids, and that it didn't have any real value in life. Because we trusted those who gave us this information, we accepted their belief and gave up that part of ourselves. I would like you to give yourself permission to embrace your natural instincts. This may, at first, feel alien to you from the many years of neglect, but will give you more control over your own beliefs. As you do this, you will find yourself enjoying life more and getting the things you truly desire.
There are many different ways we can use the process of pretending to change what we believe. Some people write checks to themselves for $1 million to pretend they are receiving great wealth. Other people carry around a date book filled with names and phone numbers to pretend they are the most popular person around. Many people pretend they are driving a new super sports-car instead of the clunky beater they'd prefer to leave behind. Still others dress up in costume and recite 'magical' poems pretending the words will cause spiritual forces to make changes for them. All these forms of pretending are good in that they help us believe in something we previously could not.
As in all processes designed to create change in the world around us, as long as we believe in the process, it will work for us. This is true regardless of the process used, including the traditional processes that 'logically' lead to wealth, relationships, health, and so on. Traditional processes such as running a business, investing, dating, charm, prescription drugs, and eating right are only as effective as the beliefs supporting them. We know this because so many people fail even when using such traditional processes.You can improvise any game of pretend that makes sense in your situation. The more you can 'make it real', the better it will work for you.
Every animal species on this planet has inborn instincts leading them to live healthy and fulfilling lives. Squirrels have an instinct to bury nuts in the Fall in preparation for Winter. Birds have an instinct to build nests in which to lay eggs. Salmon and penguins have an instinct to return to their place of birth to produce the next generation. Humans have an instinct to pretend to be something we would like to become. As children, we had a natural tendency to pretend. We imitated those people and characters we admired. We imagined what it would be like to live as they lived, testing our own boundaries and limitations to see if we could push past them and become something more than we were.
But somewhere along the way, most of us stopped. We were taught that pretending was just for kids, and that it didn't have any real value in life. Because we trusted those who gave us this information, we accepted their belief and gave up that part of ourselves. I would like you to give yourself permission to embrace your natural instincts. This may, at first, feel alien to you from the many years of neglect, but will give you more control over your own beliefs. As you do this, you will find yourself enjoying life more and getting the things you truly desire.
There are many different ways we can use the process of pretending to change what we believe. Some people write checks to themselves for $1 million to pretend they are receiving great wealth. Other people carry around a date book filled with names and phone numbers to pretend they are the most popular person around. Many people pretend they are driving a new super sports-car instead of the clunky beater they'd prefer to leave behind. Still others dress up in costume and recite 'magical' poems pretending the words will cause spiritual forces to make changes for them. All these forms of pretending are good in that they help us believe in something we previously could not.
As in all processes designed to create change in the world around us, as long as we believe in the process, it will work for us. This is true regardless of the process used, including the traditional processes that 'logically' lead to wealth, relationships, health, and so on. Traditional processes such as running a business, investing, dating, charm, prescription drugs, and eating right are only as effective as the beliefs supporting them. We know this because so many people fail even when using such traditional processes.You can improvise any game of pretend that makes sense in your situation. The more you can 'make it real', the better it will work for you.
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