A BUSINESS OR A JOB?

Many professionals and small business owners believe
they own a business when in fact they have actually
created a job for themselves. What's the distinction?
The difference is in the systems.
A business is a collection of systems and processes that
produce results. A job is a task or skill performed by a
person in exchange for money. It doesn't matter if the
task or skill is extremely well paid, if you are paid only
when you show up and do your work, then no matter what your
tax return might say, you are self-employed and have a job.
Creating a job for yourself is no small thing! Building a
profitable law practice or dental practice, or being a
professional coach are major accomplishments! Even if you
delegate some of the functions, such as receptionist or
bookkeeper, maintaining your skills, serving customers,
marketing yourself and running the show is a huge achievement.
But, in many ways, it isn't a "business", it's your job.
A business is organized so that as employees come and go,
the tasks can be learned and performed by different people.
A business has systems that allow it to function when the
boss is sick or away on vacation. A business has a degree
of automation, a sense of flow and momentum so that
customers see no difference regardless of who fills their
order or provides the service. A business can be sold as a
free-standing enterprise.
I want to be clear that there are advantages to both
processes, and for many people, being self-employed is
highly desirable. They don't want to make the investments
or design the systems of a business. They like the "hands-
on", individual style of working for (and often, by)
themselves.
The advantage of building a business, however, is that it
is as an asset. It can be sold, or franchised, or licensed
to other people. The systems can often be replicated,
sometimes even in other industries, and that gives a
business tremendous financial leverage.
Whichever way you prefer to go, be clear about your choice.

THE MOST IMPORTANT MEETINGS YOU'LL EVER ATTEND ARE THE MEETINGS YOU HAVE WITH YOURSELF

You are your most important critic. There is no opinion so vitally important to your well-being as the opinion you have of yourself.

As you read this, you’re talking to yourself right now. “Let’s see if I understand what he means by that . . . How does that compare with my experiences? I’ll make note of that . . . try that tomorrow . . . I already knew that . . . I already do that.” I believe this self-talk, this psycholinguistics or language of the mind, can be controlled to work for us, especially in the building of self-confidence and creativity.

We’re all talking to ourselves every moment of our lives, except during certain portions of our sleeping cycle. We’re seldom even aware that we’re doing it. We all have a running commentary in our heads on events and our reactions to them.

• Be aware of the silent conversation you have with yourself. Are you a nurturing coach or a critic? Do you reinforce your own success or negate it? Are you comfortable saying to yourself “That’s more like it.” “Now we’re in the groove.” “Things are working out well.” “I am reaching my financial goals.” “I’ll do it better next time.”
• When winners fail, they view it as a temporary inconvenience, a learning experience, an isolated event, and a stepping-stone instead of a stumbling block.
• When winners succeed, they reinforce that success by feeling rewarded rather than guilty about the achievement and the applause.
• When winners are paid a compliment, they simply respond, “Thank you.”

They accept value graciously when it is paid. They pay value in their conversations with themselves and with other people.

A mark of an individual with healthy self-esteem is the ability to spend time alone, without constantly needing other people around. Being comfortable and enjoying solitary time reveals inner peace and centering.

People who constantly need stimulation or conversation with others are often a bit insecure and thus need to be propped up by the company of others.

Always greet the people you meet with a smile. When introducing yourself in any new association, take the initiative to volunteer your own name first, clearly, and always extend your hand first, looking the person in the eyes when you speak.

In your telephone communications at work or at home, answer the telephone pleasantly, immediately giving your own name to the caller before you ask who’s calling. Whenever you initiate a call, always give your own name up front, before you ask for the party you want and before you state your business. Leading with your own name underscores that a person of value is making the call.

Don’t brag. People who trumpet their exploits and shout for service are actually calling for help. The show-offs, braggarts, and blowhards are desperate for attention.

Don’t tell your problems to people, unless they’re directly involved with the solutions, and don’t make excuses. Successful people seek those who look and sound like success. Always talk affirmatively about the progress you are trying to make.

As we said earlier, find successful role models after whom you can pattern yourself. When you meet a mastermind, become a master mime, and learn all you can about how he succeeded. This is especially true with things you fear. Find someone who has conquered what you fear and learn from him.

When you make a mistake in life, or get ridiculed or rejected, look at mistakes as detours on the road to success, and view ridicule as ignorance. After a rejection, take a look at your BAG. B is for Blessings, things you are endowed with that you often take for granted like life itself, health, living in an abundant country, family, friends, career. A is for accomplishments. Think of the many things you are proud of that you have done so far. And G is for Goals.

Think of your big dreams and plans for the future that motivate you. If you took your BAG -- blessings, accomplishments, and goals -- to a party and spread them on the floor, in comparison to all your friends and the people you admire, you’d take your own bag home, realizing that you have as much going for yourself as anyone else. Always view rejection as part of one performance, not as a turndown of the performer.

And enjoy those special meetings with yourself. Spend this Saturday doing something you really want to do. I don’t mean next month or someday. This Saturday, enjoy being alive and being able to do it. You deserve it. There will nëver be another you. This Saturday will be spent. Why not spend at least one day a week on You!

ACTION IDEA: Go for one entire day and night without saying anything negative to yourself or to others. Make a game of it. If a friend or colleague catches you saying something negative, you must put 50 cents in a drawer or container toward a dinner or evening out with that person. Do this for one month, and see who has had to pay the most money toward the evening.

 - by Denis Waitley

SIX TOP WAYS TO STAY MOTIVATED

I receive many emails from people that basically ask the same question: How can I keep myself motivated long term? This seems to be quite a common dilemma for many people so I want to address it because it can be done! Here are my tips for staying motivated:

1. Get motivated every day.
   Zig Ziglar was once confronted about being a “motivational speaker.” The guy said to him, “You guys come and get people hyped up and then you leave and the motivation goes away. It doesn’t last, and then you have to get motivated again.” Zig reminded the gentleman that baths are the same way but we think it is a good idea to take a bath every day!
   It is true that motivation doesn’t last. We have to renew it each and every day. That is okay. It doesn’t make motivation a bad thing. We simply have to realize that if we want to stay motivated over the long term, it is something we will have to apply to ourselves each and every day.
2. Have a vision for your life.
   The root word of motivation is “motive.” The definition of motive is, “A reason to act.” This is the cognitive or rational side of motivation. It is your vision. You have to have a vision that is big enough to motivate you. If you are making $50,000 a year, it isn’t going to motivate you to set your goal at $52,000 a year. You just won’t get motivated for that because the reward isn’t enough. Maybe $70,000 a year would work for you. Set out a vision and a strategy for getting there. Have a plan and work the plan.
3. Fuel your passion.
   Much of motivation is emotional. I don’t know quite how it works but I do know THAT it works. Emotion is a powerful force in getting us going. Passion is an emotion, so fuel your passion. “Well, I like to work on logic,” you may say. Great, now work on your passion. Set yourself on a course to have a consuming desire for your goal, whatever it is. Do whatever you can to feel the emotion and use it to your advantage!
4. Work hard enough to get results.
   You can build on your motivation by getting results. The harder you work, the more results you will get and the more results you get, the more you will be motivated to get more. These things all build on one another. If you want to lose weight, then lose the first few pounds. When the belt moves to the next notch you will get fired up to get it to the notch beyond that!
5. Put good materials into your mind.
   I can’t say this enough – listen to tapes and online audios. I still listen to tapes regularly. I buy tape clubs from other speakers and I learn and grow. Their successes motivate me to get my own successes! Read good books. Read books that teach you new ideas and skills. Read books that tell the stories of successful people. Buy them, read them, and get motivated! Buy great music and listen to it. 
6. Ride the momentum when it comes.
   Sometimes you will just be clicking and sometimes you won’t. That is okay. It is the cycle of life. When you aren’t clicking, plug away. When you are clicking, pour it on because momentum will help you get larger gains in a shorter period of time with less energy. That is the Momentum Equation! When you are feeling good about how your work is going, ride the momentum and get as much out of it as you can!

READING FOR GREATNESS

My father taught me to read. I suppose my first grade
teachers taught me my A-B-C's, but my father taught me the
joys and possibilities of reading, and I've been at it ever
since. Reading is the key to insight, understanding and
ultimately, performance.
A couple of years ago, Michael Angier, wrote an
article titled, "Leaders are Readers" and he talked about
the necessity of reading. Greatness in any field is based
on a willingness to read well, widely, and much. Whether in
business or in parenting, in our hobbies or in romance, we
do not have time to learn every skill by chance! Reading is
NOT a luxury; it is the most efficient path to life's
greatest achievements!
Others have gone before us, and they left a trail. Whether
the challenge is communicating with a rebellious teenager,
writing a screen-play or building a business, we impoverish
ourselves if we refuse to learn the lessons, mistakes and
discoveries of others.
This summer I am working my way through Roy Jenkin's
massive biography of Winston Churchill and this week I
found a HUGE key to his greatness, courage, eloquence and
wisdom. As a young man, he certainly did not impress those
around him as holding the potential for genius, so where
did he get it?
He was educated in England's private school system and went
into the Army afterward. Between the ages of 18 and 22, he
was in India, was involved in three military campaigns, and
became an expert polo player. During this time, he decided
that he was not adequately prepared him for the future he
envisioned, and he decided to do something about it.
In his "spare time" he read Gibbon's eight-volume set, "The
Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire" and Macaulay's twelve-
volume history of England. Later, he had his mother send
him 27 volumes of Parliamentary debates so he could study
them line by line - a massive exercise that helped him
enormously later in his career. At one point he wrote to
his mother that his quota was "Fifty pages of Macaulay and
25 of Gibbon every day."
During that same period he also wrote histories of two
British military campaigns and a novel!
While every one knows about his later accomplishments, I
had not known or appreciated his willingness to PREPARE FOR
GREATNESS. That, I believe, is the critical missing piece.
When Lee Iococca was turning Chrysler Corporation around, I
heard him say he read two books on business every week.
Similarly, in a Seminary, the great Presbyterian
preacher, Bruce Thieleman, insisted that pupil read at least
two books a week if they were serious about meeting the needs
of the congregations.
I admit, I have failed on that count. Like most of us, I
claim that I am "too busy" to read that much. But reading,
perhaps more than any other activity, has enlarged my life,
enriched my purse, and expanded my world.
"Those who do not read are no better off than those who
cannot read", and I would go a step further to argue that
those who refuse to make time for reading are tragically
poor, for they are needlessly holding themselves back.
Brian Tracy argues that reading a few minutes each morning,
on your lunch break or before bed is THE key to success in
any field, and I agree.
Winston Churchill read. While a young man, in the Army, in
the midst of military campaigns, he read an enormous amount
of material, and the investment served him (and the world)
very well indeed. This week, pick a book. Read!

THREE OF LIFE'S ESSENTIAL TRUTHS

This week, I've been reminded of three of life's most
powerful truths. Each of them deserves an IMPACT's all by
itself, and perhaps I should make a series out of them, but
I can't wait to share them with you. Patience and waiting
are not always a virtue, so I want to give you all three at
once. I'll try to be clear and brief, so hold on!

Truth #1: "How we live our days is how we live our lives."

This quote from Annie Dillard is one of the most important
things I know. Every week, I talk with people who say that
"some day" they'll create the life they truly want, but they
always have an excuse why they can't do it now. Right?
Obviously, some dreams require patience while we move
toward them, but many of our most important dreams take no
time at all! You can have them TODAY! Do you want a better
relationship? Do you want to be more fit, have more
energy, have more fun, or be more relaxed? Do you want
more time with your kids or your parents? Would your ideal
life involve more humor, more laughter, more love? Why are
you waiting?
Reach out to someone you love. Read a good book. Go for a
run, or get a massage. Tell a joke, hold someone's hand,
send them a card. What are you waiting for? These things
don't cost a penny, and they are available right now.
Whatever your ideal looks like, move toward it this week.
Take control! Set your alarm clock, adjust your schedule,
and move toward your ideal life. The way you live your
days is ultimately the way you live your whole life!

Truth #2: "We become what we think about most."

This quote has been credited to many people, from Aristotle
to Marianne Williamson, so I don't know who said it first,
but it is TRUE!
The things we think about become the themes, the focus, and
the center of our lives, and we control the things we think
about, every day.
Right now, as you read this, think about the color blue.
Now, think about elephants. Now, think about being sick,
or being poor. See? You can think about love or success
or fun or health or anything else you focus your thoughts
upon. Is that all there is to "success"? Of course not!
But focusing your thoughts on the things that enrich your
life and make you happy can't hurt, either. The things we
think about most, will surely influence the direction of
our lives. Choose wisely!

Truth #3: "To have more, you must first become more."

This is a wonderful quote from my teacher and friend, Jim
Rohn.
Alcoholics Anonymous defines insanity as "doing the same
thing over and over, hoping for a different result", and
yet that's what many of us do every day. We go to work
with the same skills and the same attitudes we had last
year, hoping for a different outcome. Or, we talk to our
kids with the same tone of voice and using the same words,
but hoping for a different response. That is crazy!
To change your outer life, first change your inner life.
Improve your skills. Read more and better books. Take
classes. Listen to tapes. Get a coach or talk with
experts. Take notes. Try a new way, or a new approach.
The biggest challenges in life are not to be successful in
business or to become famous, or to win first prize in some
contest. Those things are fun and valuable, too, but the
BIG pieces in life are living well, fulfilling our
potential, and making a difference.
Don't wait for success, and don't wait for tomorrow! Live
your life the way you want to live it. You are in charge
of your schedule. You are in charge of who you hug, how
much you smile, what you think about, and how much you
learn. Of all the creatures on earth, only humans get to
choose how we will live our lives. Don't blow it! Live
well. Focus on the things that enrich your life. Learn.
Grow. Every day, be happy.

ARE YOUR GOALS WORTH THE CANDLE?

This year, you might have read about the New Science of Success,
the concept that achievement can be predicted based on
specific principles. The theme is, "Success is the
predictable result of consistently applying the
fundamentals." Success, from riding a bicycle to building a
business is essentially an engineering problem. Do the right
things, in the right way, at the right time, and your
success is assured.
Several people have asked how motivation fits into the
equation. They argue that skills, financing, even timing can
be controlled, or at least influenced with good plans and
good execution. But they feel that motivation is different.
It's subjective. It's emotional, variable, and elusive. Aha!
They claim, "Doing the right things may be a science, but
having the energy and motivation to do them is deeply
personal and not scientific at all."
As you might suspect, I beg to differ.
Motivation—passion, energy, enthusiasm, determination and
persistence—are relatively easy to understand. We never lack
for motivation when we are profoundly convinced that our
goals are worth the effort. The real question is, are your
goals worth "burning the candle at both ends?"
Think of a small child who wants a cookie despite the fact
that mother has said no, and inconveniently stored them in a
cookie jar, on the top shelf, in the cupboard, out of reach.
For a really determined ("motivated") kid, this is not a
problem. You push your high-chair over to the counter. You
hoist the kitchen stool onto the counter. You climb the
chair, walk across the counter, stand on the stool and enjoy
your cookie. No problem!
This is the Science of Success at it's finest! The child
has a clearly defined objective, a plan and the motivation
to go for it. Good cookies usually result.
For adults with more elaborate goals, any number of speed-
bumps can occur. Because adult goals often require far more
steps than a child's plan to obtain illicit cookies, adults
tend to over-look vital steps or fail to recruit appropriate
partners, coaches or staff.
But three problems with "motivation" are often at the core
of adult frustration and failure.
The first problem is discouragement. These people count the
number of attempts they've made and at some point, they give
up. They look for short-cuts or better systems or easier
solutions. That can be smart if there truly are faster,
easier ways to obtain the desired result. But sometimes
there are no short-cuts and the search for a "better" way is
just a distraction on the way to defeat.
The second problem is, frankly, pride. "I've tried
everything I can think of and nothing works." Most of us
have been there, done that. But it's not true! If other
people have gotten the cookie, so can you! The key mistake
is doing everything "I" can think of! Get better training,
better coaching, better support! Ask better questions.
Interview the kids who are happily munching their cookies
and ask how they did it. Most of the time, they'll tell you!
The third and most troubling problem with maintaining
motivation is that often the goal we want simply isn't worth
the price. We don't want to push the high-chair into place.
Or lift the stool onto the counter. Or climb so high. We
want the cookie, but not at that price.
For adults, many goals require moving to another city, going
back to school, changing careers, taking risks or working
very hard over long periods of time. And for adults, these
are high prices! Often the goal we seek truly isn't worth
the cost, at least not in any way we can see to "get there."
The family doesn't want to move, friends may laugh at us,
and risking our savings is a big gamble. These are rational,
deeply frustrating decisions we all face at one time or
another.
The New Science of Success asks that you have a clearly
defined objective, a solid, workable plan, and a
willingness to pay the price until you obtain your goal. All
of us have done that in hundreds of ways. We've gotten
through college, bought a house, learned to sail, and
achieved other goals that were "worth it." But sometimes our
goals—actually our wishes—are not worth the price.
The Science of Success™ requires that you honestly assess
the costs and decide whether your goal is worthwhile to you.
If it is, you are on your way and success is assured. If the
goal is not worth the "candle" you can dream and "try" all
you want, but success is rarely obtained on the cheap. Be
clear about this. Your long-term motivation, and thus your
results, depend on it.

WHO'S YOUR MENTOR

Who is your mentor? Who shows you the ropes, teaches you the tricks and shows you the way?
This week I had several people looking for a coach, which is a very good thing. But, I also had several conversations with people who "don't need a coach" and don't have any mentors. I noticed they didn't seem to make as much money or achieve as many of their goals last year. Is that you?
Over and over again, I'm struck that the real winners in life always learn from those who went before them. Winners ALWAYS have mentors! They learn from the experts and benefit from the success of others.
Sometimes they have a personal coach – and as a coach, I think that's a good thing! But often they have informal relationships with men and women who are willing to teach them. Often, the best mentoring comes from a MasterMind group or team.
Some of my most valuable resources are the seminars, workshops and lectures I attend every year. I remember hearing a colleague say he wouldn't attend anymore seminars "because they cut the budget and (his employer) won't pay for it anymore." How terribly short-sighted!
The cost of workshops is nothing! The cost of travel, tuition and hotels is NOTHING if you learn one new idea or avoid one mistake. The chance to rub shoulders with the best and brightest in your field is priceless! In 2019, "just do it!"
Double (or triple!) your budget for books and seminars, for coaching and teaching. Call the most successful people you know and buy them lunch. Take them to the best restaurant you can afford, and pick their brains. Hire a coach. Are there seminars you "might" attend this year? Register now! Make it a seasonal present or use any excuse you have to, but make sure you get the "helping hand" you need to make 2019 your best year EVER!

MEASURE YOUR KEYS TO SUCCESS

Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the key measure of your success, of how well you are doing as a person.

You learn the key to happiness that has been the same through all of history. You learn how to dispel the two myths that may be holding you back and how to achieve more happiness in everything you do.

Dedicate Yourself to Your Best Talents

The key to happiness is this: dedicate yourself to the development of your natural talents and abilities by doing what you love to do and doing it better and better in the service of a cause that is greater than yourself.

This is a big statement and a big commitment. Being happy requires that you define your life in your own terms and then throw your whole heart into living your life to the fullest. In a way, happiness requires that you be perfectly selfish in order to develop yourself to a point where you can be unselfish for the rest of your life.

Please Yourself First

In Edmond Rostand's play Cyrano de Bergerac, Cyrano is asked why he is so intensely individualistic and unconcerned with the opinions and judgments of others. He replies with these wonderful words: "I am what I am because early in life I decided that I would please at least myself in all things."

Your happiness likewise depends upon your ability to please at least yourself in all things. You can be happy only when you are living your life in the very best way possible. No one can define happiness for you. Only you know what makes you happy. Happiness is an inside job.

Your Happiness is Up to You

The biggest myth about happiness is when people say that it is not legitimate or correct for you to put your happiness ahead of everyone else's. Throughout my life, I've met people who have said that it is more important to make other people happy than it is to make yourself happy. This is nonsense.

The fact is that you can't give away to anyone else what you don't have for yourself. Just as you can't give money to the poor if you don't have any, you can't make someone else happy if you yourself are miserable.

The very best way to assure the happiness of others is to be happy yourself and then to share your happiness with them. Suffering and self-sacrifice merely depress and discourage other people. If you want to make others happy, start by living the kind of life and doing the kind of things that make you happy. 

Action Exercises

Here are three steps you can take immediately to put these ideas into action.

First, define for yourself the activities that you really love and enjoy, at home and work, and then organize your life so you do more of them.

Second, believe in yourself and trust your own feelings. Then, please at least yourself in all things. 

Third, determine what it is that you do that brings the most happiness to others and then organize your life so that you can do more of it.

TURN THE LIGHTS ON!

I recently read about a woman with a small business selling
accessories for Mattel's "Barbie" doll and "Hot Wheels" toy
cars. She collects and re-sells clothes and little tiny
shoes, umbrellas and purses for Barbie, along with
components for the little Hot Wheels cars. She has revenue
of over a million dollars and earns a nice 6-figure income
from her home.
How does she do that? Simple! She's found a niche and she
lets people know she can help them complete their
collections and fulfill their hobby.
In general, I'm not a fan of "advertising" in the
traditional sense. Sure, for some businesses it works, but
for professionals and most online businesses, I prefer to
think in terms of "marketing." It's cheaper and more
effective.
The fact is that almost no one needs the goods or services
you provide. As a coach, I understand that less than 1% of
the population are going to hire a coach. Most people don't
know what a coach is, or they've never heard of me. They
can't afford coaching, or don't think they need a coach. The
reasons for not hiring a coach are endless!
The key to success is letting that tiny sliver of people who
DO need me know that I exist, and making it easy for them to
hire me. The same is true for your business.
How do you reach out to your community? How do you let your
customers know you exist, that you can serve their needs,
that they can trust you? How do you help them contact you?
In the Bible there is a story that warns us not to hide our
light under a basket, and it applies in business as much as
anywhere else. Turn the lights on! Let the world know who
you are, what you can do for them, and how to contact you.
In business, that is an every-single-day activity.

THE POWER OF SAYING, "NO"

"No" is such a simple word.

only two letters. Yet saying "No" out loud is harder for most people than saying, "I'll be glad to..." (eleven letters)or "When do you need me to..." (seventeen letters).

Most of us said, "No!" quite well when we were two. After all, it's the two-year-old's job to say "No." The authority figures in our lives at the time, our parents, expect us to say "No." And it is because of "No" that the year is known as the Terrible Two's. Many of us grow up to be people pleasers. The word "No" drops out of our vocabulary, and we substitute lots of ways to be agreeable and keep the other person happy. Saying "No" to the authority figures is not expected. And underneath it all we believe that saying "No" can cost us a lot in our adult life.

The unassertive "No" is accompanied by weak excuses and rationalizations. If you lack confidence when you say "No" you may think that you need to support your "No" with lots of reasons to convince the other person that you mean it.

You might even make up an excuse to support your "No." This can backfire if the lie is exposed and again, you will sound ineffective because you need to have an excuse to support your stand.

The aggressive "No" is done with contempt. "Are you kidding? Me, get your mail while you're out of town?"

Sometimes the aggressive "No" includes an attack on the person making the request. "You must be crazy. I couldn't take on a project that unimportant."

The assertive "No" is simple and direct. "No, I won't be able to help with that." If you would like to offer an explanation, make it short and simple. "No, I won't be able to help with that. I've already made a commitment for Friday afternoon."

Strategies to make the assertive "No" easier

1. When someone makes a request, it is always OK to *ASK FOR TIME TO THINK IT OVER*. In thinking it over, remind yourself that the decision is entirely up to you.

2. Use your nonverbal assertiveness to underline the "No." Make sure that your voice is firm and direct. Look into the person's eyes as you say, "No." Shake your head "No," as you say, "No."

3. Remember that "No," is an honorable response. If you decide that "No," is the answer that you prefer to give, then it is authentic and honest for you to say, "No."

4. If you say, "Yes," when you want to say, "No," you will feel resentful throughout whatever you agreed to do. This costs you energy and discomfort and is not necessary if you just say, "No" when you need to.

5. If you are saying, "No," to someone whom you would help under different circumstances, use an empathic response to ease the rejection. For example, to your friend who needs you to keep her child while she goes to the doctor, you might say, "No, Susie, I can't keep Billie for you. I know it must be hard for you to find someone at that time of day, but I have already made lunch plans and I won't be able to help you.

6. Start your sentence with the word, "No." It's easier to keep the commitment to say, "No," if it's the first word out of your mouth.

Practicing for the World Series

Let's look at some daily ways you can practice saying, "No," so that it comes more naturally to you. Paulette Dale in her book, Did You Say Something, Susan? suggests some simple ways to practice saying, "No." Here are some of her suggestions:

Say "No,"
to the clerk who wants to write your phone number down
when you return something to the store;
to the telemarketer who disturbs your dinner;
to the perfume demonstrator at the department store;
to your friend's pets when they jump on you;
to the secretary who answers the phone and asks if you mind if she puts you on hold.

Make it a project to say, "No," to something every day.

When you do, notice it and give yourself credit for practicing saying such an important two letter word.

- by Linda D Tillman