10 WAYS TO MOTIVATE YOURSELF WHEN YOU ARE FEELING DOWN

Sometimes you feel down...that's normal. It comes with the territory called "being alive".

Life is like a wave; and just like the wave, it has both troughs and crests. There has never been, and there will never be a wave that does not have a top and bottom, an up and a down.

Sometimes, you may feel so low that you think that "being up" or "feeling up" again is impossible. If you do, you are not alone...we've all been there...

Over the years, I've learned a number of ways to power my way up and out of the place called "down". I've learned to create and regain Momentum and to motivate myself.

Here are 10 ways to pick yourself up and get yourself going:

1. Remember that Down Is Temporary.
Remember that every coin has two sides and just because you're experiencing the down side, that does not mean there isn't an upside too. When your Momentum and motivation are low, decide to invest energy and you will change your situation. Go out for a walk when you say you can't. Make a call when you say you are too tired...you'll soon discover that your Mo and go will return.

2. Take One Small Step.
Any change can begin with one small step. Often, we keep ourselves stuck in a rut by thinking that in order to feel better, we have to accomplish something huge. Take a small step and repeat with small increments and increases. The benefits will grow and so will your Momentum.

If you're low and want to be more fit, start off by doing a couple of minutes of exercise that day. Repeat this daily for a week. Then, increase it by five minutes a day each week for a month. Soon, you will be doing over 20 minutes of exercise a day. You will feel better, change "down" to "up" and build your Momentum.

3. Focus on a Single Goal.
Sometimes when I feel low, it's because I've taken on too much and have not been able to keep up with my many projects. The result is that I feel overwhelmed and tired. It's as if I've broken the camel's back by trying to carry too many loads. It's an all-too-common problem...

Here's a powerful solution: Choose a single project or goal to focus on. Do that one and do it well. You will have time and energy to move on to others when you regain your accomplishment energy and motivation.

4. Ask for Help.
When you are feeling low, reach out. We are like batteries...sometimes we can give a charge to ourselves and others, sometimes we need a charge. Get the help of friends and family. Get it from your inner circle or seek it online. Write me...ask me for support.

5. Practice Momentum Thinking.
When you are feeling down, you are "thinking down" and it is your Thinking that's the real cause of your feeling. To improve your situation, begin to track your thoughts. Listen to what you are saying to yourself. It's your negative thoughts that are stopping you and keeping you stuck.

Use disputation skills to counter these thoughts and regain your Momentum. Replace "I can't do it!" with "Just watch!" Change your thoughts and you'll change your motivation and outcomes. Learn the Momentum Mind method.

6. Remind yourself Daily.
Put reminders that are motivational in front of you daily. Subscribe to services like the AmMo morning email to keep your goal and other motivational tools in front of you every day. Send reminders to yourself and post short notes in big bold letters; post pictures of what you will look like or feel like when you reach your goal in all the places that you look at regularly... your mirror, your desk, the refrigerator, your steering wheel. If "Out of Sight is Out of Mind", then keep your goals "Within Sight, Within Mind".

7. Broadcast your Goal.
Let many people know about your goal in general and let family, friends and colleagues know about it specifically. By doing this, you are committing yourself to moving from a rut into action, from being stuck to making an improvement. Write a commitment contract, give copies to people you want to support you and give them regular updates on your progress.

8. Practice Proportional Thinking.
Any time I feel low, I use a skill I taught myself many years ago to cut my "low" down to size. Here's how I did it:

I realized by studying my thinking that when I was feeling crumby, I had the habit of making my problems bigger than they actually were and of telling myself that I was less capable of improving the situation than I actually am. I also realized that this is a very common problem for many people.

To reverse the situation, I start by reminding myself that I'm practicing this unhealthy habit. Then, I listen for my inaccurate thoughts. Next, I replace them with accurate ones. For example, I change "I will never be able to get out of this hole" to "I need to approach this problem one small step at a time."

9. Breathe, Sleep on It and Shower in the Morning.
I have a method to break out of a funk that always works. It goes like this...

When I feel particularly down or overwhelmed, I practice diaphragmatic belly breathing and as I relax and calm myself, I say: "I'm going to sleep on this tonight. When I go to bed, I'm going to fully let go and get a full, restful sleep. By the time I awaken tomorrow, I will be more refreshed and be filled with the enthusiasm and Momentum I need to break this cycle." I then take a shower and invariably in the shower, I turn my thoughts into positivity and simplification and toward problem-solving. Do it yourself and please share your results with me and other readers.

10. Change your Words and Build Momentum.
Your words are enormously powerful. To move forward and upward, change the tone and direction of your thinking. Replace your current words. Go from "Problem" to "Opportunity". Go from "Difficulties" to "Benefits". Small, consistent changes in your words will change "Pessimism" to "Optimism" and "Inertia" to "Momentum".

Your thinking is a skill that you can cultivate, fine-tune and master. When you develop Momentum Mind, you will become more capable of re-energizing yourself and regaining your balance and Momentum.                               

HOW SHALL WE THEN LIVE?

In Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s classic Sherlock Holmes story,
"The Hound of the Baskervilles," there's a wonderful
conversation about whether the Lord of the Manor has
installed electricity in the castle. The reply is, "No,
Sir. He's decided to wait a generation or two to see if it
catches on."
I love that story because it lends perspective to our need
to rush and worry. As George and Ira Gershwin noted over 70
years ago, we live with a "need for speed." But I'm not
sure the need is as intense as we believe.
Phililp Humbert said, "Some things, like wine and wisdom, seem to mature slowly.
Don't get me wrong. I appreciate being able to fly to
meetings in Chicago, I appreciate instant messaging and the
convenience of email. I love watching the news live, as it
happens, anywhere on earth. These are marvelous things and
they serve us well. As an investor, I love executing a
stock trade in seconds, and this morning I bought tickets
to Cirque du Soleil in about two minutes flat! What fun!
As a coach, my job is to help my clients be more
productive, achieve bigger goals, make more money or have a
larger impact on the world. It's amazing to see what we can
achieve with smarter strategies and better tools! We can do
so much more and go so much further than we have imagined!
Helping my clients achieve big, important goals is where
the joy is!
So long as doing more allows us to become more.
Many years ago, I think it was Ann Murray who sang about
the clowns at the circus and at the end of the song, she
asks, "Is that all there is?" I fear that at the end of
life, many of us will be left with the question, "Is that
all there is?"
I remember as a child, watching my grandfather whittle a
stick on his back porch after the day's work was done. The
cows grazed on a hillside with the sun setting in the
distance. He whittled, I watched, and we talked. There was
no radio or television, no iPhone or internet. We had plenty
of time.
Obviously, we are not going to turn back the clock. We are
not going to "wait a generation or two" to see if the
digital age "will catch on." We are not going to abandon
email or give up our cell phones.
But with all the options and opportunities in front of us,
it is essential that we ask, "How do I want to live my
life?" More than ever, we have an obligation to choose our
priorities.
It seems to me, the sequence is this:
1. First, decide your values and priorities. What's
important to you? What do you want more of in your life?
What do you want less of? Be clear!
2. Second, choose a strategy. How have other people
accomplished what you want to achieve? What skills,
strategies and partnerships worked for them? What didn't
work, and how can I improve on their results? Find out!
3. Execute your strategy. In the end, it comes down to
daily action. Once you know what you want and have a plan
to get it, the key is execution.
You can have just about anything you want in life. You can
live just about any lifestyle you wish. You can be or
become any one you choose. The only question is, "What will
you do with your one and only, glorious life?" Once you
answer that, the rest is just a matter of strategy and
execution.
The final note, however, is about "the gap." Many people
are clear about their values and their goals, but live with
a huge, frustrating gap between where they are and where
they want to be. They try. They work hard. They're smart,
but year after year, things don't really change. Usually,
it's about needing a better strategy--maybe just a slight
tweak, a slightly better system--and more consistent daily
action.

STRESSED YOU GOT FROM WORK? TIMELY TIPS

Stress is part of everyone's life and work. Whether you work for someone else, run your own small business, or are a solopreneur, the better you manage your work stress, the happier and more productive you'll be in all facets of your life. So, while stress may be here to stay, it doesn't have to be in the driver's seat!

Work Stress and How to Relieve It

First, it's important to identify the source of your stress. Work stress usually falls into any one of four categories:

• Work overload and overwhelm,
• Difficult co-workers,
• Overly demanding or unreasonable bosses, and
• Anxiety stemming from uncertain economic times

The list may seem overwhelming in and of itself, but the good news is that there really are things that you can do to relieve these stressors. And many of them are things that you can put into action right away for yourself.

Let's start by looking at work overload.

If you're feeling overwhelmed start by scanning your schedule. Can you change your routine or rearrange something to find more time to get the job done? Are there tasks you can eliminate temporarily? Or could someone else pick them up for you? Being proactive and making even small changes eases things considerably.

If you continue to feel swamped and have a boss, speak to him or her. Communication is key, both for working things out and as another stress reliever. Simply sharing your feeling may open you to new possibilities.

What about the stress of co-workers who don't see eye-to-eye?

There are difficult people in all walks of life, and this is something you're likely to face no matter where you work. But, you don't have to let it stress you out.

One excellent stress management technique is to confront the issue directly. If the problem continues and you can't ignore it, another possible solution would be to ask to be moved to a different department or area. Another option to consider is to not respond or engage around the behavior that is bothersome, but try to connect in some other way. Either the person will respond by leaving you alone or, maybe better yet, he or she may befriend you. Either way, you are reducing your stress. This is the most helpful and growthful solution.

How about the overly demanding boss?

First of all, remember, your boss is your boss. It is usually unwise to approach this person in a confrontational manner. However, that doesn't mean you can't try talking.

To do this successfully, you'll want to schedule a meeting ahead of time. Then, before it happens, spend some time writing out your thoughts. This in itself relieves your stress because you feel clear and prepared. It will also help you state your case and stay on topic. Don't come across as blaming or condescending. Remember that your power lies in how you respond; but your boss does have power over your employment. So, if speaking your mind doesn't have the impact you'd hoped for, you'll need to let it go. Work to find the positive learning embedded in this experience. Let yourself be guided by your steadiness and discipline.

Anxiety about the future fuels stress.

Probably the biggest cause of stress in the workplace these days is fear and uncertainty about these tough economic times. There are no guarantees in this economy. That's hard to live with, so, how do you relieve some of the stress and fear?

Well, one thing is to be proactive and start preparing for the future. This might mean learning a new skill or trade. Maybe it could involve starting an on-line business or exploring saleable talents you might have. A little research and planning can relieve stress about the future, as well as opening up doors you might not have imagined!

And one bonus tip about stress ...

No matter what is causing your stress, working out regularly is an excellent way to release energy and relieve overwhelm, frustration, and anxiety. You don't have to belong to a gym. You can find ways to work out anywhere -- and the benefits are palpable. It's well worth the investment of time that it takes!

DO YOU KNOW?

I came across an interesting quote the other day from Mark Twain. At first, it seemed just humorous. As I began to ponder it though, I realized it was filled with depths of perspective for the world of selling. Mr. Twain said, "I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know."

Now, what does this mean for us and our sales success? I heard one time that "I don't know" is the first sign of wisdom. Why is this true? Well, because it starts a searching process. When you don't know the answer then you have to seek the answer. By so doing, you find the truth, the reality. Former business leader at GE Jack Welch was famous for walking into meetings and asking "What is the reality here?" Sales professionals have to ask the same type of questions. What is the reality with this prospect? What is the reality of my performance? What is the reality of the competition?

I believe that far too often sales professionals, business leaders, and politicians are afraid to say "I don't know." What are you afraid of? That you will lose the business? That you will be seen as vulnerable, weak, ignorant, or even worse? But remember, "I don't know" is the first sign of wisdom. Wisdom on how to solve the prospect's challenge. And that is the whole point of selling.

The only problem with saying "I don't know" is if you leave it there. Don't leave the person in no man's land. Instead say, "I don't know, but I will find out and let you know." This is the mark of the true sales professional. This is the mark of the champion.

That is really what they are looking for. That is the solution they seek. When you do that, you not only solve their challenge, but their respect for you also goes up too. You see, you don't have to be perfect in order to get the sale. In fact, perfection here on Earth isn't reality. Prepare the best you can. Present your product or service the best that you can. Answer their questions the best that you can. And, learn from the process.

So, the next time a prospect or customer asks you a question that you don't know the answer to, then do what Mark Twain did and tell them so.

NETWORKING FOR PROFITS

One of the most common "rookie mistakes" business people
make is confusing the act of exchanging business cards, or
handshakes, with effective networking.
Networking is not about how many people have your card. It
is about how many people know you, value what you do, and
feel comfortable referring their friends and colleagues to
you. 
This is such a critical distinction that it’s difficult to
over-emphasize it. Over the years, I have heard dozens of
professionals and business people say that they joined a
service club or professional organization "but it never did
any good." When I ask them to tell me how they actually
spent their time at the meetings, they usually say they
attended, tried to be friendly, exchanged business cards
with lots of people, and greeted as many people as
possible.
When I ask how many referrals they made TO the people they
met, I often get a blank look. When I ask about how many
luncheons or follow-up phone calls they made, there’s
silence. When I ask if they served on a committee or as an
officer, the most common answer is "No."
Networking is about bonding and building connections. It’s
about building trust. It’s about building a mutual
relationship that benefits both parties.
Think about how many people the average physician,
attorney, stock broker or salesperson contacts in a year.
If your attorney knows and understands the value of your
business and feels comfortable referring to you, he or she
might make dozens of referrals per year. 
Think of networking as the art of building a solid, long-
term alliance with a circle of fellow business people. A
circle of a dozen can be worth a million dollars a year in
referrals. It’s not the number business cards, it’s the
quality of the relationship that counts.
Build your network in terms of solid, reciprocal alliances
that benefit each member of your "quality circle."

PUT SOME Z.I.P INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Relationships are really what makes the world go ’round, aren’t they? I mean, good, positive, healthy and meaningful relationships provide us with the richest experiences we have here on this old earth of ours. Your loving spouse who shares everything with you; that best friend who connects with you like few others do; the people at work who appreciate you and help you to become the best that you can be; This is what brings joy to life!

But… relationships can also be the bane of our existence! What really brings more pain in this life than a broken relationship, especially when it isn’t just broken but downright ugly!

So, it behooves us to do all that we can to keep our relationships zipping right along, doesn’t it? If we put our very best into our relationships we can almost guarantee getting the very best out of our relationships!

Through the years I have spent hundreds of hours working with people in their relationships: Marriages, friendships, working relationships and social relationships. Through it all I have seen some wonderful things and some terrible things. It truly is the good, the bad and the ugly!

But I have been able to find three core elements of successful relationships. These are things that, when done over time, begin to create for you the kinds of relationships that you truly desire. They are the kinds of relationships you have always dreamed of.

The key to remembering these three items is the acronym Z.I.P. Z.I.P. stands for three things you can do – and begin to do immediately – to improve any and all of your relationships. They are:
Put some ZEST into your relationships.

Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.

Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.
Let’s take a closer look at each of these three:
Put some ZEST into your relationships.
By Zest, I primarily mean fun. Relationships were meant to be fun! We wouldn’t have been made with the capacity to have fun if relationships weren’t supposed to have a little zest in them!
Think about it: Don’t you usually start out most healthy relationships with a lot of fun times. Whether it is going out to dinner or a ballgame, or spending time playing a game or even just a lively talk, you usually have fun as a major part of the relationship. Fun is some of the glue that bonds the relationship.
But as life goes on, specifically in a marriage, but in all relationships really, the fun starts to go by the wayside. More and more it is about getting the job done, whatever the job may be.
To restore the relationship, to put a little zip into it, we need to reintroduce the idea of “zest.”
What about you? Have you lost the zest? What can you do to get it back? Think of a specific relationship you have: What were the fun things you did at the beginning of the relationship that acted as the glue that bonded you together? Now, commit to doing those again and see if your relationship doesn’t begin to soar again! If you can, develop new fun things to do together so you can both start an adventure of fun together!
Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships.
First a couple of clarifications: One, I don’t just mean intimacy in the currently common understanding, that is, sexual intimacy. I mean for all intents and purposes, taking your relationship to a deeper level. Second, I don’t mean that you have to start doing group hugs with your workmates or having revelation sessions where the tissue flows freely.
What I do mean is that every relationship that is mutually satisfying has a level of depth to it that provides meaning. This is really what the search is for in our relationships: meaning
Remember when you first started your relationship, whether with your spouse or friend. All of that time was spent opening up, telling who you are, where you were from, what your likes and dislikes are. There was a deep sense of satisfaction with the relationship – that is why it continued. You liked who they were and you enjoyed being known by them.
But then something happens. We get to a certain level and the pursuit of depth ends. We stop sharing feeling, likes, and dislikes. We stop sharing joys and dreams and fears. Instead, we settle into routine. The daily grind takes over and we stop knowing one another and we simply exist together. Now don’t get me wrong, every time you get together doesn’t have to be deep. Remember, I am the one who advocates in the previous paragraphs just having plain old fun sometimes. But there is a need for regular times of intimate connection where we go deeper with others.
This is particularly hard for many of the male species like myself but it is not only possible but healthy and needed! If we want to have the kinds of relationship we were made to have, we have to open ourselves up to having others know us and for us to know others.
True meaningful relationships come when we are loved and accepted for whom we are at our core, not simply for acting the right way in our relationships so as to keep the other person in it.
Think about the relationships you would like to see improvement in. Take some time in the coming weeks and months to spend time just talking and getting to a deeper level in your relationship. Specifically, let the other person deeper into your world. You can’t force the other person to be more intimate and you certainly can’t say, “Let’s get together and have an intimate conversation,” because that would be too contrived. But you can make a decision for yourself that you will let others into your world. Perhaps this will be the catalyst for them doing the same.
You can guard yourself from intimacy but then you won’t go much deeper and you will feel a longing in your heart for more, or you can begin the deepening process and see your relationships change for the better.
Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.
The most meaningful relationships we have are those that are held together by a common purpose and vision for what the relationship can accomplish, not only for those involved but also for a greater good.
Let’s face it, when people have a common purpose they feel like they are part of a team and they feel bound together in that relationship. Even when people may be disappointed in the people they are in relationship with, if they have a purpose, such as raising the children, they are much more likely to stick it out. Purpose creates bonds.
So what happens if we are proactively involved in seeking out a common purpose with those who we want to have a relationship with or those who we already have a relationship with but we would like to see it go deeper with? Well, it gets better and stronger.
Think about your strongest relationships. Aren’t they centered around at least one area of purpose or a common goal?
What about a relationship that has cooled? Think back and see if perhaps you used to have a common purpose but it has gone by the wayside.
And what of your desire to see a relationship grow? Take some time to begin to cultivate a common purpose. Sit down with that person and tell them that you would like to have some common goals, some purposes that you pursue together. As you develop these, you will see your relationship strengthen in ways you never imagined!
Let’s recap: You want your relationships to show a little “zip?” Then put a little Z.I.P. in them:
- Put some ZEST into your relationships
- Cultivate more INTIMACY in your relationships
- Develop a PURPOSE in your relationships.

EXPECT EXCELLENCE IN ALL THINGS

There are two famous recommendations that I don't agree
with. They are supposed to lead to the "good life" but I
don't think they work. The first is "all things in
moderation," and the second is the quest for "perfection."
Regarding moderation, I much prefer the wonderful quote
from May West that "too much of a good thing is just
right." What a great attitude!
I deserve LOTS of great things in my life! I deserve all
the health, joy, love, great memories, passion and
fulfillment I can get!
Now, I admit, I have noticed that moderation in some things
is a good thing. Moderation in drinking, for instance,
seems to reduce hangovers, accidents, addiction, and all
sorts of embarrassing moments. Likewise, moderating my
consumption of chips, dip and hot dogs seems to be good.
Moderating my spending to match my income also seems wise.
But when it comes to the things that make life worth-while,
I HATE moderation! Why would I settle for a "little"
happiness when the world is designed to fill my life with
joy?! Why would I work like a slave, when wealth and play
and freedom and love are all around me? Sure, I work to
earn money (and to make my unique contribution), but I'd
much rather practice "moderation" in work and "let her rip"
when it comes to joy and personal development!
I don't believe in "moderation in all things." Be very,
very careful about the things you "practice in moderation!"
Similarly, trying to make life "perfect" is a trap. Very
few things in life are "perfect" because life is always
changing. If it was perfect a moment ago, it may already be
deteriorating or evolving into something new. Or my tastes
may have changed--perhaps I've outgrown it--and am no
longer satisfied. Very few things in life are "perfect" and
even fewer things remain so for long.
More importantly, since we aren't perfect, very few of the
things we do are perfect, either. There's a wonderful quote
about the great Howard Hughes that, for all his genius and
wealth and power, "he sought a perfection that assured
failure."
Don't do that to yourself! It doesn't work out well.
Instead, strive for excellence. Strive for a GREAT life,
not a perfect one. Trouble happens. Mistakes happen. Bad
luck and misfortune, and yes, evil and tragedy happen. But
good things happen, too. Excellence and wisdom, love and
joy never go out of style. We never outgrow our desire for
celebration, achievement, personal growth and new things.
I am totally convinced it is possible to live a World Class
Life! In fact, I believe it is the MINIMUM we should expect
of ourselves. Who would choose a life of safe mediocrity?
Who would develop only part of their potential, or use only
some of their talent or a bit of their creativity? No one
would do that!
Every day, get up and go for excellence. Expect the very
best in your relationships--a hug and a smile are a great
way to start your day! Expect superb service and great
results. Expect beauty and humor, inspiration and lots of
fun. Expect to focus on your work, and to work long and
hard to accomplish magnificent outcomes. And expect
extraordinary peace, joy and satisfaction in life, every
day. Settle for nothing less.

EIGHT CHOICES YOU CAN MAKE TODAY THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOREVER

The direction of our lives is determined by the choices we make every day. They accumulate and add up to our ultimate destiny. Here are eight choices you can make - choices that will create for you a life of abundance and prosperity in all areas of your life.1. Choose to grow personally.
This sounds simple but many people only wish to grow personally. They never choose to grow by taking action, such as actually exercising, saving more money etc. Make a decision today to be a person who is on the never ending journey of personal growth.
2. Choose to always treat others right.
We come across all sorts of people, many of whom will treat us poorly. We can choose to treat them right, no matter how they treat us. When the lie, we will tell the truth. When the cheat, we will play by the rules. We may get the short end of the stick some times, but in the long-run we will win. And most importantly, we will be able to sleep at night.
3. Choose to break a bad habit.
Take the biggie first. Tackle it head on. If you don't know what it is, ask a friend. Then spend every effort you can to break that habit. Forget about the others, as you will get to them later. Stop smoking, get out of debt, lose your excess weight. Exercise the power to choose!
4. Choose to work smarter.
Many people I work with feel like they are out of balance. One of the first things I do is try to find out how much time they are wasting at work, which makes them work longer, which throws the rest of their life into chaos. Getting your work done by diligently working in the time you have will free your life up extraordinarily.
5. Choose to see your work as a way to help others, and not a way to make money.
If you put your heart into helping others, the money will most assuredly come. Spend time helping others grow and your finances will grow with it.
6. Choose to become balanced spiritually, emotionally and physically.
Our lives are best when we have these three major areas in balance. Spend some time cultivating your spirituality, becoming emotionally healthy, and physically fit.
7. Choose to sow more than you reap.
There are many takers in this world, but our lives will be better as we become givers. The world will become better as we become givers. Give away your time, give away your money, give away your love.
8. Choose to get home for dinner more often.
The family is the most important group of people you will ever belong to. Make a decision today to grow in your relationship with your parents, siblings, spouse and children. This one choice you will never regret.
One of my favorite quotes:
The history of free men is never written by chance, but by choice - their choice.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

5 TIPS FOR IDENTIFYING YOUR NEGOTIABLES AND NON-NEGOTIABLES

You're in a new relationship, and you're starting to see some red flags, warning you that the relationship may not be a good bet, but does that mean you should leave? How many red flags does it take to make that decision? How do you know if the red flags mean future disaster, or are just a warning?

These are tough questions to answer. But if you've identified your red flags, you can begin to get clear about staying or leaving by looking at your negotiables and non-negotiables. These are the patterns of behavior in the relationship that either you can deal with (negotiable) or you can't (non-negotiable). A negotiable item does not go against your integrity, but a non-negotiable does. For example, if you value honesty in your relationships, and your partner is continually lying to you, that is a non-negotiable. How could you really have a healthy relationship with someone whose very behavior goes against the essence of who you are? If you compromise on this behavior by deciding that sometimes lying is okay, you are cutting into the deepest part of your psyche. Non-negotiables are those issues that you will not compromise on because it goes deeply against your values.

Negotiables are not deal breakers and are those issues that don't cut as deeply. For instance, maybe your partner is messy and you value neatness. However, messiness doesn't cut into your integrity and though it may never change, you could live with it and not feel you've compromised your very essence.

It is important to know your negotiables and non-negotiables. That way, you can decipher which of these two categories the red flags fall into. If in your current relationship most of the red flags are non-negotiables, it will be nearly impossible to have a loving relationship for more than 2-3 months. Our integrity can only be compromised for a short period of time -- the honeymoon phase -- before we get angry and resentful of our partner. If your negotiables outweigh your non-negotiables, it makes sense to continue the relationship.

Use these 5 tips to help you identify your negotiables and non-negotiables:

1. Make a list of issues you know you can compromise on that your partner is displaying. "She's late all the time, but I can live with that."

2. Make a list of issues that you know you can't compromise on. "He says he's going to call me and either doesn't or calls much later than planned. He always has an excuse, and I want someone who keeps their word 99 % of the time. I can't see living with this much inconsistency."

3. Make a list of issues you would compromise on within yourself for another person. "I know I'm messy, so I'd either get an organizer to help me with this or be willing to hire a housekeeper."

4. Make a list of issues you could not and would not compromise on. "I am an independent woman, and could not be with a partner who wanted me to give up my work or my friends for him."

5. If you're not sure which category your red flags falls under, ask yourself this question: If this behavior never changed, could I live with it? You have to assume it may never change and that alone should help you determine if it's a negotiable or non-negotiable.

If you know your non-negotiables, there's still the issue of infatuation/love/passion/fantasy that clouds our judgment and overrides our good senses. Sometimes we ignore the signs of disaster and plunge forward anyway. That's just called being human, so don't beat yourself up if this happens. Nevertheless, knowing your negotiables and non-negotiables is important because when the fantasy dies down and you're wondering what happened, you can look at your list as a reminder. This will help you pull back, reevaluate, and have a clearer sense of what to do. The negotiables and non-negotiables are exactly the framework and boundaries needed when trying to decide to stay or leave. It doesn't matter how long you've been involved, the negotiables and non-negotiables are always there to remind us of who we are, what we want, and what we don't want.                               

THE PRACTICAL POWER OF THINKING BIG!

There is something uniquely human about looking to the
skies. From ancient times, wise men and woman have
encouraged us to "look to the hills, from whence cometh my
strength." We all know the call of distant horizons.
Humans have always wondered what's beyond the horizon, over
the hill or around the bend. We long to see farther, go
further and do more. The urge to dream big dreams is part
of what motivates our heroes, from the ancient story of
Ulysses, to more recent heroes like John Glenn, Chuck
Yeager, or Amelia Earhart. Would Barak Obama be President
if he hadn't first dreamed a big, "impossible" dream?
And yet too often we get bogged down in the trivia of
every-day things. Of course life requires that we do our
daily work. Taking care of the house, running the errands
and paying the bills are not trivial things! They are the
routines that make life possible. We rely on each other to
complete our daily tasks.
But, as the old song asks, "is that all there is?" We know
the answer, and it troubles us.
Sometimes, we need to step back and lift our eyes to the
hills and beyond. Sometimes we need to ask the big
questions, and contemplate the big answers.
In 1959, David Schwartz wrote a book called, "The Magic of
Thinking BIG" that changed thousands of lives forever. It's
written in an "old" style and there's no mystery or drama
in it, just the truth that we NEED big dreams. There is
something in us that needs a larger destiny, a greater
purpose.
I think the true heroes have always been people who
balanced three difficult, and very different, things:
1. They do their work and fulfill the ordinary
responsibilities of everyday life. They show up every day.
They keep their promises. They do their work.
2. They also have the ability to hear and honor a big
dream. Amelia Earhart heard the call. John Glenn heard the
call. Teddy Roosevelt never stopped exploring the great
American west. Helen Keller could see more clearly that
most. Today’s heroes are responsible people who do their
daily chores, but keep one eye (always) on a bigger prize.
3. Heroes take concrete, effective action in the direction
of their dreams. They don't just look at the horizon and
wonder, they get up and go. They take daily action! Yes,
they probably work a bit harder than the average person.
They probably get up earlier, stay later, or work more
weekends, and they find a way to pursue their BIG idea.
There is real magic in pursuing HUGE goals! We get excited
about “Big Harry Audacious Goals” (B-HAGS) in a way that
small, safe, ordinary goals can never match. Mundane goals
to increase our income or lose ten pounds pale beside the
desire to fulfill our destiny!
The world responded to President Kenney's challenge to go
to the moon because humans LOVE over-coming obstacles,
solving problems, and making a difference! We enjoy being
part of something meaningful and significant. We are
creatures who naturally look to the horizon and ask "what's
next?"
What's your BIG idea? What excites you? What takes your
breath away, keeps you up at night, and makes you smile all
day long? What's your B-HAG? Sometimes it's "distant and
far away," vague or fuzzy, but it's in there! Find it, dust
it off and pursue it! People will join you and things will
unfold in amazing ways. Lift your eyes, dream your dreams,
and take action! It's what makes life worth the living!

NIGERDOCK NIGERIA PLC RECRUITING!

At Nigerdock Nigeria Plc recruitment is now on for the Great Career Opportunities in our company, interested candidates should apply for any of the job vacancies listed below;
JOB POSITIONS:
1. Project Manager
2. Cost Engineer/Quantity Surveyor
3. Materials Traceability Officer
... 4. Deputy Project Manager
5. Structural Engineer
6. Materials Controller
7. Contract Manager
8. Procurement Assistant
9. Supply Chain/ Qa Coordinator
10. Contract Engineer
11. Hse Supervisor
12. Construction Engineer
13. Senior Construction Manager
14. Clearing Officer
15. Rigging Superintendent
16. Project Engineers
17. Trainee Clearing Officer
18. Environmental Officer
19. Buyer
20. Document Controller
21. Contract Designer
22. Piping Designer
23. Elect. & Instrumentation Designer
24. Hr Advisor
25. Planners. copied from: nigerianbestforum.com-
26. Expeditors/Procurement Expeditors
27. Security Guards
28. Structural Designer
29.Procurement Administrator
30. Qa/Qc Manager
31. Proposal Manager
32. Project Safety Officers
33. Welding Superintendent
34. Ship Manager
35. Senior Marine Estimator
36. Operations Manager – Shipyard
37. Commercial Manager – Shipyard
CLICK LINK TO APPLY
http://nigerdock.com/Careers-Advert-Nigerdock.pdf
NOTE: Qualified applicants should forward their CV to the respective email address using the job title as the subject.
DUE DATE: 12th February, 2013.See More

http://nigerdock.com/Careers-Advert-Nigerdock.pdf

nigerdock.com

HOW TO OVERCOME A CONFIDENCE CRISIS

A confidence crisis can be caused by normal life transition such as getting a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new business, or starting a new relationship. Life's losses can also cause confidence to sink - the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of a big client, the loss of a dream we come to realize will never happen.

At times, our confidence is already shaky as a result of a transition or loss and a single incident like missing a deadline, getting a bad haircut, or spilling coffee on a document can send us storming out of the confidence cafe.

When you crash, it is usually because your daily diet of life has not included enough confidence causing foods. Confidence is like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to take responsibility for planning your confidence meals and making sure you have large enough portions.

When you have a confidence crisis, don't despair, don't reach for the bottle of bourbon or the bon bons. Instead, start to use some of these confidence boosting techniques. Begin with at least two, then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot more than confidence - you will learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself more and more.

Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal is a great way to process, and clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and what you still need to pay attention to.

Show Gratitude
Practice gratitude - be thankful for what you already have and put your attention on all the blessings you already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal. Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will help you feel richer and stronger in character and that translates into confidence.

Use Affirmations
Affirmations work. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, "I get more confident everyday" "new clients come to me easily", "I am an expert at what I do". State all affirmations in the present. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the tape over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

Evaluate Your Relationships
Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to sever your ties - or at least loosen the reins.

Start New Relationships
Identify people that have the qualities you admire - people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you, as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be.

Get into a Good Group
This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes.

Change Your Behavior
What do you do that boosts your confidence and what do you do that brings it down? Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind, and dressing well are behaviors that tend to boost confidence. Staying up late, spending all your time with Ben and Jerry, and saying "yes" to avoid confrontation when you really want to say "no" will bring your confidence down.

Speak Up
When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

Take a Risk A Day
A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of risks for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes, it takes a few days to boost your confidence, sometimes, it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.