8 STEPS TO TAKING CONTROL OF EVERY SITUATION IN YOUR LIFE!

Like it or not, we are all gladiators. We go to sleep and wake up in a social arena from which there is no escape. Challenge upon challenge confronts us, walls restrain us, and a mob of spectators mocks, sneers, or cheers us. Each and every day brings new battles whether we want them or not and whether we're up to them or not. Life forces us to face one skirmish after another - no choice in the matter.
What we can choose, though, is which kind of gladiator to be, victor or victim.
Being a victim in this social arena translates into having bad relationships.
Most people are victims - victims of their own perceptions.
That's because people don't develop and listen to their own unique, authentic self. Rather they allow their mental spectators - those little tyrants rattling around in their heads - to tell them second by second how to fight their battles, what they can and cannot do. These tyrants applaud and they hiss, they encourage and they discourage.
These mental spectators are the memories of the judgments of real-life people. For example, it's the memory of your aunt saying, "I hope you marry someone rich, because you're not going far on brains." It's the echo of your father growling, "You've got a back problem - no spine."
And their influence over your relationships can't be overestimated.
Millions of people accept the judgments of their mental spectators as the truth and, therefore, the mediocre results that come from believing those judgments.
With so many people living this way, the question becomes, is this the way I have to live? Fortunately, the answer is not unless you want to.
Once you identify your mental spectators - and your interactions with them - you can move beyond victim and assume the role of victor.
What it takes are eight steps for getting command, eight steps you can apply to most any situation you want altered. You can positively influence your relationships, your employment options, any aspect of your life.
Let's look at the steps.
1. Define What Ails You.
Ask, what's my problem? Am I a jealous weasel, troubled that others have what I want? Am I ticked off most of the time? Am I sad and whiney? Anxiety ridden? Moody? All of the above? Without this step, you're doomed. It will take personal courage, but you won't get results without identifying what ails you.
2. Discover the Effects.
Ask, how are my problems affecting my life? Am I a lousy parent, a friendless dork, a backstabber, a slut, a drunk, a junkie? Am I none of the above, but someone who is less than I could be? This step requires absolute self-honesty, but the truth will help set you free.
3. Seek the Source.
Ask, from where are my problems coming? Who are my real and my mental spectators? What do my mental spectators look like, say, and do? Exactly who or what is keeping me from taking command of my life? This could be one of the most incredible experiences of your life. You will look into the abyss and see who is looking back.
4. Identify Your Role.
Ask, how am I contributing to my problems? What is my responsibility in all this? Did I decide to be a garbage disposal? Do I beat myself to death trying to please others? Do I expect things of myself that are unfair? Do I treat myself as a friend or an enemy? Do I allow my mental spectators to drive me to distraction, depression, anger, anxiety? Recognizing your role in your own problems is a positive - but scary - step toward knowing yourself and gaining personal command.
5. State Your Desires.
Ask, what do I specifically want to do about my problems? Do I want to be a doormat, a slut, a drunk, a friendless geek? Or do I want to rule my mental spectators? Do I want to stand up to a spectator, real or imagined, who puts me down? Do I want to take command of my education, my bank account, my relationships? Until you can actually list your desires in the order of their importance, you will be a victim. However, once you do this, you are on your way to being a victor.
6. Seek Options.
Ask, what are my options, and in what order should I place them? What is the first option I should concentrate on? The second one? The third? If you have a soul-sucking hangover most mornings, you might opt to give up your booze buddies for some real friends. Secondly, take the money you normally spend at bars and deposit it in a college fund for yourself or your kids. If, instead, you're a workaholic and you want to spend more time with your kids, then DO IT. Very few people on their deathbed have said, "If I could live life all over again, I'd spend more of it at work and less with people I love." Choices are involved here, but by weighing options and alternatives, and then making personal choices, you are taking command. Do this and you'll begin to gain real power.
7. Learn Winning Techniques.
Ask, how do I rule my real and my mental spectators? Must I collapse in a heap when they point thumbs down? How can I learn to take charge on every level and get a grip on my life? There is no "magic" involved, but you might feel as if there is. Unlike a vanquished gladiator falling at the whim of spectators, you decide your own course.
8. Master Your Relationships.
Ask, what more can I do to master my relationships by strengthening myself and my perceptions? How do I take command right now in developing my own identification and self-worth? Congratulations! You're working on the one person in the entire world you can work on - YOU! And any improvements in yourself can't help but enrich your relationships with other people and the world around you.
Although this is only a brief overview of each of the eight steps for jump-starting your relationships and taking control of your life, you'd be amazed at how significant the effects of a few minor adjustments in perception can be.

WHO ARE YOUR MENTORS?

Who shows you the ropes, teaches you the tricks and
encourages you when things go wrong? Who shows you the way?
Over and over again, I'm struck that the real winners in
life always stand on the shoulders of those who went ahead
of them. Winners ALWAYS have mentors! They learn from the
experts and benefit from the success of others.
Sometimes they have a personal coach--and as a coach, I
think that's a good thing! But often they have informal
relationships with men and women who will teach them.
Sometimes, mentoring comes in the form of a "MasterMind"
group or team.
One of my most valuable sources of information are the
seminars, workshops and lectures I attend every year. I
remember hearing a colleague say he wouldn't attend anymore
seminars "because they cut the budget and (his employer)
won't pay for it anymore." How terribly short-sighted!
The cost of workshops is nothing! The cost of travel,
tuition and hotels is NOTHING if you learn one new idea or
avoid one mistake. The chance to rub shoulders with the best
and brightest in your field is priceless! Just do it!
Double (or triple!) your budget for books and seminars, for
coaching and teaching. Call the most successful people you
know and buy them lunch! Take them to the best restaurant
you can afford, and pick their brains. Hire a coach. Are
there seminars you "might" attend this year? Register now!
Make sure you get the "helping hand" you need to achieve
your goals and create the life you truly want!

HOW TO MAKE A BETTER DECISIONS

If you think we’re highly evolved beings with the capacity to think clearly and make careful decisions based on reason – think again. Science believes our decisions are often shaped by over-simplification, prejudice, our surroundings, and just plain laziness.
Our minds are easily subverted by images, and even by our own desires. That’s why we tend to avoid visits to the beach after watching sharks on TV, and why we believe we might win the lottery, though the odds are stacked against us. Indeed, we often only see what we want to see or recognise data that supports what we already think.
So, are we doomed to blunder through life led only by our irrational minds? Fortunately, help is at hand with the following useful tips.
The importance of defining your purpose
Clearly define in your own mind what you’re trying to achieve and, if it’s to be a group-based decision, involve the right colleagues – probably about five to seven people, including all key stakeholders.
Always present the idea or problem in the form of a question which helps identify the goal. For example, instead of stating, “Advantages to launching new product X next year,” ask, “When would be the best time to launch product X?” Be really clear in your own mind: what exactly is the problem you want to solve; and what benefits will solving the problem bring to your business? What will happen if you don’t solve the problem? By identifying the problem in this way, you’ll open up your mind to all sorts of alternative solutions.
Generate ideas
The worst way to make a decision is in a hurry. Take your time. Choose a relaxed, informal environment in which to hold your meeting, provide refreshments and allow time for several breaks for coffee.
Brainstorming is ideal for gathering ideas from a group of people; it helps us break out of stale, established patterns of thinking. The idea is to generate as many ideas as possible and encourage everyone to take part, sparking ideas and connections and opening up possibilities – even if they seem crazy! The more options you consider, the more comprehensive your final decision will be. There shouldn’t be any criticism or judgement at this stage; evaluation comes later. It is, however, important that one person in the group should record all the ideas that are generated in the meeting.
Of course, you can also brainstorm on your own: just allow yourself half an hour of absolute freedom to explore all your creativity and experience. However, the obvious disadvantage to this is that you will be limited by your patterns of thinking and, yes, your prejudice; this is why a decision made on your own is always going to be more limited in scope than one made in a group.
Explore alternatives
Once the ideas have been generated, it’s time to evaluate them, considering the possible consequences of each and assessing the pros and cons. Many of us are trained to think that in order to be successful we have to think positively – all the time – and this can mean that we’re under-prepared when problems arise. A useful technique is therefore to consider each problem from different perspectives: first, focussing strictly and analytically on the data available, looking at and learning from past trends; next, using your intuition, or gut feeling, and your emotions; and finally, pessimistically, imagining “the worst scenario”, which will highlight the weak points in your plan.
Look again at the question you presented when you were defining your purpose: have you looked at it from all possible angles? Can you identify how your business would benefit from each of the alternative solutions to the problem?
Take action
In the end, you can never know 100% whether or not you’re making the “right” decision. Only time will tell. But once you’ve decided, concentrate on implementing it in a way that makes it successful – and try not to have doubts!

GET CUSTOMERS TO SELL FOR YOU

Why People Buy
Fully 84 percent of sales in America take place as the result of word-of-mouth advertising. Some of the most important sales promotion and sales activities are those that take place between customers and prospects, between friends and colleagues, in the form of advice and recommendations on what to buy, or not buy, and who to buy from.
Join the Top 10%
The only way that you can be among the top ten percent of salespeople in your industry is by having your existing customers selling for you on every occasion. Because of the importance of mega-credibility in selling, your customers must be happy to open doors to new customers for you wherever they go.
Never Prospect Again
All top salespeople eventually reach the point where they seldom have to prospect because their customers do much of their selling for them. When you live your life consistent with your personal and business mission statements, both fitting together like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, your sales career will soar, as will your sales results and your earnings.
Be Clear About Who You Are
One important point with regard to vision, values and mission statements: be gentle with yourself. It has taken you your whole life to become the person you are today. If you are like everyone else, you are not perfect. You have lots of room to grow and improve. There are many changes that you can make in your character and personality in the course of becoming the excellent human being that you aspire to. But change in your personality will not come easily, and it won't come overnight. You must be patient.
Persist Until You Succeed
The reason that people grow and become better and better over the course of time, is because they persist gently in the direction of their goals and dreams. They don't expect overnight transformations. When they don't see results immediately, they don't get discouraged. They just keep on keeping on. And you must do the same.
Put Your Ideas Into Action
Once you have a clear idea of the person you want to be and the kind of life and career you want to create, just take the first step. Read your mission statements every day as you go about your activities, think of the different ways that you could practice the virtues and qualities that you are in the process of incorporating into your own personality.
Remember, it is only your actions with regard to other people that really demonstrate the kind of person you have become. And if you persist long enough, you will eventually shape yourself into the exact person that you have imagined.
Action Exercises
First, treat every customer as if he is going to be a great source of word-of-mouth advertising for you. Remember that every person knows about 300 other people.
Second, resolve to become better and better in your dealings with others but be gentle with yourself. Behave every day in every way the best you can be and you will be sure to get results.

HOW TO MOTIVATE YOUR EMPLOYEES TO DO THEIR BEST

Some of your employees, although they know what is expected of them and how to perform, simply do not do it consistently. A vivid example of the above is the typical behavior of cashiers in self-service gas stations.

These employees sit behind a bullet-proof window and think that their job is to simply take the customer’s money. They often do this while simultane ously talking on the phone, chewing gum, or chatting with a fellow employee. That type of behavior is definitely not service-oriented.

The question that must be asked is: Are there valued rewards for performing as expected? Just because employees understand and are able to perform as expected doesn’t mean they will. Your employees need to be continually reinforced for doing things right.

The attitude of some small business management is, “They collect a paycheck; that’s all the positive reinforcement they need.” That type of thinking is not only short-sighted, it’s pure ignorance. Your employees need to consistently receive rewards they value.

While it’s true that you can’t really motivate your employees; they have to motivate themselves; there are some things you can do as an owner or manager to create the proper environment for employees to provide their own self-motivation, i.e., to do what is expected of them. To do this, you need to find out what motivates your employees.

In a survey conducted by a national business magazine, it was revealed, once again, that money was not the top motivator for most people between the ages of 16 and 40 years. What the survey found was that aspects like gratifying work, appreciation for a job well done, recognition, and a feeling of independence in the way they performed their job responsibilities were at the top of the list. Money ranked in the middle.

So, how do you find out what specifically motivates your employees? Ask them. Remember, the number one stumbling block to knowing what your employees are thinking and feeling is not the generation gap but the communication gap. Sit down with each of your employees and ask them what they like about their jobs. Find out how they feel about interacting with their customers and how they like to be shown appreciation for a job well done.

Keep in mind that, depending on their viewpoint and life situation, their answers may vary. One month it may be recognition; another month it may be money. Also inquire how they want to be treated when they make a mistake. Once you find out what some of their self-motivators are, make it a point to use them. By doing so, you will be on your way to creating a more customer-oriented team.

SUGGESTED ACTION:

Set up a personal meeting with each one of your employees and ask the following questions:

1. What do you like about your job?

2. What do you dislike about your job?

3. What do you like most about dealing with your customers?

4. What do you like least about dealing with your customers?

5. How do you like to be shown appreciation for a job well done?

6. How do you want to be treated when you make a mistake?

FOUR OBSTACLES TO CLOSING

Fear of Failure
There are several other reasons why the end game of selling is stressful and difficult. First and foremost is the fear of failure experienced by the prospect. Because of negative buying experiences in the past, over which you could have no control, prospects are conditioned to be suspicious, skeptical and wary of salespeople and sales approaches. They may like to buy, but they don't like to be sold. They are afraid of making a mistake. They are afraid of paying too much and finding it for sale cheaper somewhere else.
Fear of Criticism
They are afraid of being criticized by others for making the wrong buying decision. They are afraid of buying an inappropriate product and finding out later that they should have purchased something else. This fear of failure, of making a mistake in buying your product, is the major reason why people object, hesitate and procrastinate on the buying decision.
Fear of Rejection
The second major obstacle to selling is the fear of rejection, of criticism and disapproval experienced by the salesperson. You work long and hard to prospect and cultivate a prospective buyer and you are very reluctant to say anything that might cause the prospect to tune you out and turn you off. You have a lot invested in each prospect and if you are not careful, you will find yourself being wishy-washy at the end of the sale, rather than risking incurring the displeasure of the prospect by your asking for a firm decision.
Customers Are Busy
The third reason why the end of the sale is difficult is that customers are busy and preoccupied. It isn't that they are not interested in enjoying the benefits of your product. It's just that they are overwhelmed with work and they find it difficult to make sufficient time available to think through your recommendations and make a buying decision. And the better they are as a prospect, the busier they tend to be. This is why you need to maintain momentum throughout the sales process and gently push it to a conclusion at the appropriate time.
Inertia is Hard to Break
The factor of inertia is the fourth reason that can also cause the sales process to come to a halt without a resolution. Customers are lazy and often quite comfortable doing what they are currently doing. Your product or service may require that they make exceptional efforts to accommodate the change or a new way of doing things. They perhaps recognize that they would be better off with your product, but the trouble and expense of installing it hardly seems to make it worth the effort. They see no pressing need or urgency to stop doing what they are doing and start doing something else with what you are selling.
Everyone Buys at the Same Time
The good news is that everybody you meet has bought and will buy, new products and services from someone, at some time. If they didn't buy from you, they will from someone else. You must find the way to overcome the natural physical and psychological obstacles to buying and then hone your skills so that you are capable of selling to almost any qualified prospect you speak to.
Action Exercises
Now, here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, recognize the normal fear of making a buying mistake experienced by the customer. Give him every reason you can think of to be confident in dealing with you.
Second, accept that everyone you talk to is busy and you are interrupting. Always ask if this is a good time for him to give you his undivided attention. If not, arrange to see him another time.

LESSON FROM THE RICHEST MAN ON EARTH

In the 19th century, Cornelius Vanderbilt was the richest
man in America, perhaps the richest man on earth. He was
born in poverty, which was not unusual since very few
families had much more than a bed, a roof over their heads
and a meager diet. But, in a way that may have been a
blessing or a curse, he was also born into a family that
believed each person had to work hard and make their own
way.
At fifteen, he started a ferry service, rowing people and
goods on Long Island Sound. His father agreed to rent him
the boat--there were no gifts from father to son! His mother
was so hard-headed, she later foreclosed a mortgage on her
own daughter, repossessing the house when the daughter
became a widow and could no longer make the payments.
I've recently read T. J. Stiles' Pulitzer-winning
biography, "The First Tycoon." I urge you to get it,
read it, and profit from it.
Here are three key lessons from Vanderbilt's life:
1. The distinction between ambition and DESIRE.
Vanderbilt distrusted ambition and ambitious people, while
he valued and nurtured a powerful sense of DESIRE. While
ambition has positive aspects, it also has a dark side.
Ambition has an element of wanting to Be or Become something
or someone other than who we are. Ambitious people are
looking to "move up." They want to be noticed, become
influential or wealthy or famous. Ambition often contains
a willingness to "win" regardless of the consequences.
Vanderbilt achieved and won much--dominating both the
steamship and railroad industries. And yet he always denied
that he was ambitious. He did not want to BE anything or
anyone other that who he was.
Instead he fostered and valued DESIRE. He felt ambition was
born of weakness, while desire came from strength and he
valued that. He had goals that were crystal clear. He
understood the values of patience, good strategy, smart
tactics and effectiveness. He was relentless in pursuit of
the things he DESIRED, but he kept them in perspective.
Getting another railroad might make him richer, but it
would not make him better, smarter, wiser or happier.
He understood this key distinction.
2. He was fundamentally conservative.
Late in life he was asked about the basic flaw in most
business people and the frequent failures and bankruptcies
that resulted. His response was, "I'll tell you what's the
matter...people undertake to do about four times as much
business as they can legitimately (handle).... When I have
some money I buy railroad stock or something else, but I
don't buy them on credit. I pay for what I get." (p. 536)
In the 19th century, stock panics and depressions were
common, and he blamed them on over-reaching, or as Alan
Greenspan famously described it, on "over exuberance."
Vanderbilt hated this. He knew how to bide his time, save
for what he wanted, accumulate stock or other assets and
then use them for strategic benefit. In this sense, he
reminds me of Warren Buffet more than the "day traders" who
speculate on margin, hoping to strike it rich. Like Buffet,
he built enormous wealth over a lifetime. He took risks with
his own money, and he usually won these conservative, well-
thought-out gambles.
3. He knew how to see and seize opportunity.
Vanderbilt rarely sought or grasped for the "next big
thing." But, when an opportunity presented itself, he took
instant action. He new how to recognize an opportunity,
and when he saw one, he had cash readily available and took
immediate action. He bought assets when they were on sale,
then waited for time and the market to make him rich.
Today, we live in troubled economic times. Home prices are
down. The stocks of great companies are on sale, depressed
by general market conditions. In these chaotic markets,
millions of people are laying the foundation and planting
the seeds that will grow into tomorrow's great fortunes. So
should you.
Avoid the lure of great ambition. Instead nurture specific,
actionable desires. Be conservative. Hoard cash. Avoid
credit. Be ready. And, when you see an asset that is under-
priced or in trouble, if it meets your criteria, take
immediate action! Invest! Learn to see and seize opportunity
when it knocks.

Quotes of the Week
"The secret of success in life is for a man to be ready
for his opportunity when it comes." -- Benjamin Disraeli
"Be ready when opportunity comes.... Luck is when
preparation and opportunity meet." -- Roy D. Chapin Jr.
"Change cannot be avoided...change provides the opportunity
for innovation. It gives you the chance to demonstrate your
creativity." -- Felice Jones
"Our main business is not to see what lies dimly at a
distance, but to do what lies clearly at hand." -- Thomas Carlyle

COPING WITH DIFFICULT PEOPLE

We work with, play with, service‚ or are related to difficult people. Difficult people yell, explode, and try to intimidate you. If your life is free from these hostile and manipulative people, read no further. However, the probability of encountering these people is extremely likely. Although the difficult people make up 3-5% of the population, they create over 50% of the everyday problems!

Certainly, we all can be miserable, hostile and basically pretty unpleasant at times. But difficult people are this way all the time. A brief encounter with a difficult person leaves one angry, frustrated, and demoralized. These people go right for the jugular vein. The negative behavioral patterns they learned are used strategically to wear you down. Their only objective is to win regardless of who stands in their way.

Difficult people have learned to be this way because it is effective for them. Their hostile and negative behavior serves them well. Their arsenal of aggressive behavior catches their prey off guard and then renders them helpless. Consequently, after a confrontation with these people, it's not unusual to feel mentally abused and frustrated.

The first step in coping with a difficult person is to understand why they behave this way. Generally, these people are unhappy, insecure, and have low self-esteem. Early in life they learned to get their needs met in maladaptive ways, such as, being the bully. Although there are different types of difficult people - some are overly aggressive, while others may be passive-aggressive - their dynamics are similar. Like all human beings, all they want is to be loved and accepted. Unfortunately, they have learned inappropriate ways to achieve this.

These behavioral patterns are deeply ingrained in the personality of the difficult person. The overly-aggressive difficult person (one who bullies, explodes, screams, etc.) uses their aggressive posture as a defense mechanism. Because of their weak and fragile ego, they need to protect themselves. Their best defense is a strong offense-aggression. Therefore, they feel in control of themselves only in a situation that allows them to feel powerful. But it doesn't stop there. Like all weak people, their insatiable need to feel secure makes it necessary for them to win - and to win at any cost.

The second step in trying to cope with difficult people is to distinguish between a person who is having a bad day and one who is a difficult person. Keep in mind that difficult people make up a small percentage of the population. However, having an encounter with one makes that percentage appear larger.

The first way to help distinguish between the two is to reflect on the history of the person. In other words, "Is the behavioral pattern normal or unusual for this person?" The difficult person is this way all of the time. A non-difficult person who is having a bad day is just reacting to a particular situation.

Another approach in distinguishing between the difficult person and a person having a bad day is found in the way you communicate with them. Although hostile at first, the non-difficult person will eventually respond to your effective communication and rational reasoning. The difficult person will be relentless in their pursuit to beat you and win.

To help you maintain composure when confronted by difficult people, it is important to keep three things in mind. First, you can never change the difficult person. The old saying that a leopard never loses its spots holds true with the difficult person. These people need to be this way and for them to change is to expose their vulnerability.

When confronted by difficult people, remain focused and be firm. Like spiders spinning their webs, they are trying to trap you. By bombarding your ego with insults and intimidation, they want you to lose control and fight with them. When this happens, they "got-ya." Listen to them, maintain direct eye contact and when appropriate speak in a clear firm voice. It is easy to become wrapped up in the heated situation, so remain detached and distant from these people. Doing so helps keep you from becoming entangled in their web of misery and hostility.

The final step that will help you cope with the difficult person is to not personalize the problem. Certainly, this is easier said than done. Between wishing they would be different, thinking you can really help them, and trying to survive their emotional assault, it's difficult not to internalize the problem. Yet, in order to cope effectively with these people, it is crucial to maintain your self-esteem.

Some of the following thoughts might be helpful in your attempt to depersonalize the situation:

"This is their problem, I will not make it mine."

"I'm not going to allow anyone to dictate my behavior."

"They want me to fight with them, I won't allow it."

"Their need to be difficult is a cover-up for their own inadequacies."

"I have the choice to play or not this game."

The bottom line is that trying to cope with difficult people is never easy and is quite frustrating. Trust the fact that all people have trouble dealing with difficult people. Although it may not seem possible to deal with difficult people effectively, remain confident in your abilities and coping skills. And keep in mind that engaging in an argument with these people is a no-win proposition. In fact, the only way for you to win is to elect not to play.

SECRETS OF SUCCESSFUL TEAMS

To be a success is not always to be a success individually. In fact, most of the time we achieve our successes as part of a team. That is why I want to devote this issue to the secrets of successful team.We are all part of teams. Our family is a team. Our place of work is a team. The community groups we belong to are teams. Sometimes we are the team leader or “coach,” while other times we fulfill the role of follower, or “player.” It is so important then for us to understand teams and how they work, especially those who achieve success – the achievement of their desired goal.

Here are some principles that I know, when implemented on a regular basis, can turn any lackluster team into an outstanding one! These principles can be applied to your family, your business, your organization, and yes, your sports team. Enjoy.

Communication Leader

The leader needs to communicate the vision. If they are setting the pace, they need to let people know where they are going so that the team can follow. The coach always does a pre-game talk, laying out the vision.The leader communicates the vision frequently, so as to always be updating the team as to where they are at and what changes need to be made. The coach doesn’t relegate the direction he gives to the pre-game, he coaches and communicates all the way through the game.

Team
Watch a good basketball team. They are talking to each other all of the time. Helping one another out, encouraging one another, praising one another, and telling each other how they can make changes so the same mistakes aren’t made again. The same is true of successful teams in the professional world and in life in general.

Excellence
The truly great teams are teams that are committed to excellence. In everything they do, their goal is to achieve at the highest level. And this commitment is held throughout the team and at every level. A successful team cannot have members who are not committed to excellence because in the end they will become the weak link.

Followership
If you want a fascinating read, pick up The Power of Followership, by Robert Kelley. The author basically makes the point that the secret to getting things done lies not only in great leadership, but in how well the rest of the people, 99% of the team, follows the leadership. Good teams are filled with people who are committed to following and getting the job done.

Understanding Roles
Pardon the Chicago Bulls analogy, but it is so clear. When the game was on the line, with only one shot left, everyone, the coaches, the players, the 20,000 people watching in the stadium, and millions watching on TV, knew who would shoot the last shot. That was Michael Jordan’s role.Every team works best when the members of the team have clearly defined and understood roles. Some do one thing, others do another. One isn’t better or more important than the other, just different. When teams operate out of their strengths and their roles, they win.

Strengths and Weaknesses
This brings me to strengths and weaknesses. Every team member has strengths and weaknesses. The successful teams are those who on a regular and consistent basis enable the members to operate out of their strengths and not out of their weaknesses. And what is one person’s strengths will cover another’s weakness. This is teamwork, enabling all of the bases to be covered.

Fun
The team that plays together stays together. Is your team all work and no play? If you’re smart, that will change. Get your team out of the office once a month and go have some fun. Enjoy one another. Enjoy life. It will bring a sense of bonding that can’t be made even in “winning.”

Common Goals and Vision
I have found that these need to have three aspects. Short, simple and clear.Can you say it in less than 30 seconds? Is it simple? Can you and others understand it? Does the team all know what they are working together for?

Appreciation
All through the “game,” successful teams appreciate one another and show it in a variety of ways. The coach shows it to the players, the players show it to the coach, and the players show it to one another.

Here is a “Successful Teams” Checklist for you to evaluate with.

Is there communication between coach and players and from player to player?

Is your team committed to excellence?

Do those on the team know what it means to follow?

Does everyone on my team know their specific role?

Do the individuals on our team regularly operate out of their strengths as opposed to their weaknesses?

Does our team take a break from time to time to just have fun together?

Do we understand our common goals and vision? Can we all state it (them)?

Is there a sense of and communication of genuine appreciation among my team?

YOUR SIX-MONTH REVIEW

This Wednesday marks the half-way point in the year and it’s
a great time to take stock and see how you’re doing. At the
beginning of the year, almost every business establishes
goals -- goals in terms of sales, profits, new customers,
and so forth. Most of us also set personal goals, often in
terms of time with loved ones, in terms of our health,
personal finances, travel or other areas.
Unfortunately, far too many people are discouraged about
setting goals. They remember goals that were written down
and then ignored, and now they say, “goals don’t work.”
Hogwash! Goals are what make life worth living! Goals to
finish school, learn to drive, goals to meet someone and
fall in love, goals to get a job, build a career, buy a
house, retire comfortably--these are the building blocks of
a great life!
The problem is not with goal-setting, but that we fail in
two related areas:
1. We don’t focus on our REASONS for wanting the goal. When
you have enough reasons, achieving any goal becomes much
easier!
2. We fail to MEASURE. Peter Drucker observed that “what
gets measured, gets done.”
This week, review the reasons you set your goals in the
first place. What would more income or more time off do for
you? When you know why something is important, getting it
done is much, much easier.
And secondly, review your numbers. See how you’re doing. Be
honest, have the courage to take measurements and note your
progress. You’ll be glad you did!

HOW TO BUILD RAPPORT IN SALES

When you initially meet a potential client, the first thing you must do is establish rapport. The faster you can make this happen, the more sales you’ll make. It’s as simple as that.

The only way to accomplish this is through practice. I teach a learning strategy I call P.D.R.—practice, drill and rehearse. The more you do those three things, the faster these proven strategies will become ingrained in you. So let’s get started.

Let’s say a new customer has just called you or entered your place of business. The steps to rapport-building are pretty much the same in both instances. The first thing you do is smile. This may sound trite, but look around you. How many people do you know who naturally smile when they meet someone new? If the answer is a lot, you’re working with a great team!

It’s important to smile even on the phone—people can hear it in your voice. If you’re not naturally a very smiley person, practice in front of a mirror. Don’t laugh! This is critical to your ability to sell. You must be able to see your smile in your eyes. That means it’s genuine. If you’re not genuine, your prospects will spot it and write you off as a stereotypical salesperson. Their defenses will go up, and you’ll have to work hard to break them down.

If you’re meeting in person, pay attention to how much eye contact you make. Don’t stare them down, but make comfortable eye contact.

Then introduce yourself, ask for their name, and ask for permission to use their name. What I mean by that is, if a woman introduces herself to you as Jane Thompson, say, “It’s nice to meet you, Ms. Thompson. May I call you Jane?” Never jump to using people’s first names. Asking permission sets you apart from average salespeople.

Now, repeat the name to yourself four times—silently, so you don’t forget it. With everything else you’ll have on your mind—qualifying your prospect, presenting your product properly and closing the sale—it’s easy to forget names. Repeating it to yourself will help plant it firmly in your mind.

Try to match the speed and volume of your speech to theirs for the first 90 seconds. Then, if you naturally speak either faster or slower, you can gently move into your typical style. Here’s a warning, though: If the potential client speaks very slowly, don’t allow yourself to speak too quickly. They may not follow what you’re saying, and while they’re trying to catch up mentally, they’re missing the next point you make.

Next, search for common ground. Why are the two of you talking with each other right now? What similarities are you discovering? Does this person live close by? Are they about your age? Do they work for a company you’re familiar with? Find something you share in common and say something relevant—this helps the client see you as someone “just like them.”

This is crucial to the selling process. People are more likely to buy from someone like them than from someone they don’t relate to.

Next, give the person a sincere compliment. It might be a compliment on their foresight in calling your company. It might be something about an item of clothing or jewelry they’re wearing. “Your purse really caught my eye. It’s a great color.” Maybe you notice the logo on the man’s shirt, something from a golf course or a sports team. Comment on it.

But beware of saying anything for or against any sport or sports team until you know where your prospect stands. For some people, their feelings about sports teams are as strong as their feelings about religion and politics—two subjects you’ll want to avoid unless they’re part of your business.

Once you’ve reached this point, it’s time to get down to business: Too much rapport-building can be a waste of time—both yours and theirs. Move on to business with a simple statement such as, “Jane, let me thank you for the time we’re about to share. I hope we can consider this meeting somewhat exploratory, meaning my job is to analyze your needs and show you how we at (name of your business) can help you.”

With the rapport-building step of selling done, you can begin asking questions relevant to your product or service to determine if it’s right for them.