MY GREATEST STRUGGLE

I confess: I am ambitious. I am ambitious in every area of my life. I am ambitious physically, emotionally, relationally, spiritually, and financially. I am ambitious in my career. I am ambitious with both the for-profit and not-for-profit organizations I run.
But ambition isn’t the problem. Something else is. It is something that runs counter to ambition. It is something I need more of in my life, which is strange, because, while ambition is good, this is good too – and they are seemingly opposites.
I need them both, yet I have huge doses of ambition and I am lacking in this other trait. It is something I want more of in my life because I believe my life will be richer for it. It will fill my life with more joy and happiness. It will make my life more full.
What is it? I’m not telling! Just joking. With a lead in like that, I couldn’t resist!
It is contentment.
As I get older, I realize that most of what I pursue with such tenacity is good, but it usually comes much slower than I want it to.
This leaves me with two options:
Be disappointed or…
Be content. Enjoy where I am for all it has to offer, even while I work to be somewhere else.
You see, my life is pretty good. No, it is great. I make a lot of money. I have a beautiful and supportive wife. I have four astoundingly incredible kids. I live in a beautiful town. I run my own schedule. I travel to wonderful places. I run in circles I never thought I would. My friends are loyal. I have terrific business partners and lots of people who believe in me. I contribute a lot to society in many ways. My family and I are all healthy. Who could ask for anything more? Well, me. And I do.
That is a lot to ask for, isn’t it? But I am ambitious, right?
Now I am learning contentment. And I imagine that it would do you some good to learn a little contentment too, wouldn’t it?
So here are some thought on how to live with a little more contentment:
Take time.
Simply take time off from your ambitions. Take time to spend in leisurely pursuits. Take time to just enjoy your family and friends. In other words, stop working long enough to enjoy your life.
Appreciate.
Appreciate what you have, even if it isn’t all that you want. I frequently remind myself that there are children who will wake up today, by no fault of their own, in a country with no hope of ever going anywhere. Their hope is to live through the day, and perhaps get two bowls of rice. This reminds me that I have A LOT to be appreciative of even if I never take a step further in life.
Give money, things, and time away.
Give to the less fortunate. The happiness on their faces and the warmth of their hearts will bring you a great deal of satisfaction and contentment.
Remind yourself of the treadmill trap.
John D. Rockefeller was once asked how much was enough. His answer? “Just a little bit more.” Ambition can be a trap if not carefully guarded against the extremes.
Don’t take yourself so seriously.
I hate to tell you this but if you died… shhh… the world would keep right on spinning. Tony Campolo days the futility of life is that when you die, your friends get together, say a prayer, throw dirt in your face and then go back to the church to eat macaroni salad and talk about sports. So, unless you are the President of a major super power, with your finger on the button, remember, your life isn’t so serious that you can’t take it easy and enjoy it a little bit more.
Do I have contentment down? Nope. But I am working on it. I am striving to be all that I can be and make as big of a difference in this world as long as I am here.
But I am working on enjoying the ride a bit more. I hope you will too.

REMEMBER THE PAST, CREATE THE FUTURE

Memorial Day Weekend, a time traditionally set aside to honor those who sacrificed and often gave their lives for our freedom. Liberty and democracy are fragile things and they do not flourish by themselves. They require loving care and costly sacrifice by those who cherish them. Every day, liberty is under attack by those who would censor our words, our thoughts and our prayers. Every day, freedom is challenged by those--often good, well-intentioned people--who want more "order" at the expense of chaotic, inefficient democracy.Because of our freedom, we can argue and disagree about where, and how, and when, and even if we should defend freedom, but there can be no doubt that we have the debates because brave men and women stood up against tyranny. In honor of those who died on 9/11, and to those all over the world who continue to sacrifice and too often die so we can have our picnics and watch our races, and have our debates this weekend: Thank you.
It seems woefully inadequate, but again, THANK YOU!And now I want to make a tricky intellectual "pivot" and turn from talking about honoring those who fought for our freedoms, and talk about how we build our own lives, and the "Memorial Days" that signify our progress. Clearly, we must first honor those who have sacrificed for our freedom, but we honor them most by USING our freedom, not merely luxuriating in it.I'm going to make a strong, blunt statement that may offend some, but here goes: I believe too many of us have grown flabby and lazy. We enjoy our freedoms and our wealth and our opportunities, but we also squander them.Too often, we use our freedoms to become superb consumers rather that expert builders. Too often, we use our freedoms to complain rather than to create. Too often, we use our freedoms and our wealth and our power to become couch potatoes and channel-surfers rather than exploring our potential and pushing the limits of possibility. As you celebrate this Memorial Day, what are the key dates in your own life? As you look back, do you mark the dates your children were born, or the date you launched your business? Do you mark the date you set your own course, and risked everything to pursue your dreams? How about you? What are your personal Memorial Days? How have you used your freedoms, your talent, your dreams and abilities to create the life you want? We all have them! Some dates are specific and easy to recall, others may not have been so special at the time, but in retrospect we know they were turning points.Honor those turning points. Honor yourself! Freedom and opportunity exist only if they are used! And one of the ways we fuel our dreams and empower the future is by "borrowing" confidence from the past. Celebrate your past achievements and use them to know, deep inside, that you can boldly go wherever your wish in the future. Go climb some big mountains!

Quotes of the Week
"Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." -- Jeremy Kitson
"In each of us are places where we have never gone. Only by pressing the limits do you ever find them." -- Dr. Joyce Brothers
"The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams." -- Eleanor Roosevelt
"Freedom is actually a bigger game than power. Power is about what you can control. Freedom is about what you can unleash." -- Harriet Rubin

DO YOUR CUSTOMERS LOVE YOU?

Here's a question: Would you rather have 10,000 customers buy your products once, or 500 customers who were raving fans? I hope the answer is obvious!Advertising and marketing make it possible to sell your products around the world, and getting customers to try your service once is a relatively well-defined science. You can hire experts on marketing and branding, and consultants to "target" your niche and refine your message.What you cannot buy (at least not in the same way) is customer loyalty. You buy customer loyalty and repeat business with extraordinary customer care-not customer "service", but honest, extreme, personal caring for your customers. Fortunately, this is not difficult or expensive.Caring for your customers means working with them to solve their problems and achieve their goals.
It means listening to them, and responding. It means the old boundaries between "seller" and "buyer" break down and we work as a team to achieve win-win results that enrich us both. Recently, a friend and I compared notes about two local businesses. Bob talked angrily about a company that refused to provide service, a refund or credit when it's product failed to meet his needs. Then we talked about another local vendor who has a reputation for always going the "extra mile". Guess who we'll do business with next time?A few dozen customers, well taken care of, can make you rich. Never, never, never forget that!

FOUR CORE VALUES THAT GUATANTEE SUCCESS

Chris Widener had the privilege this past Saturday of speaking just before former United Nations Ambassador and Presidential Candidate, Alan Keyes at a leadership conference in Whistler, British Columbia.
Ambassador Keyes gave a brilliant speech as usual and challenged the audience with the idea that the only way people, businesses, organizations, and even countries make lasting impact is by operating out of core values and bedrock principles.
This got me to thinking about how successful people become so by living out of core values. In doing so, they provide for themselves the foundation for successful lives that make a difference, not only for themselves, but for others as well.
So what are the core values that I have seen in the many successful people that I have worked with through the years? Here are four core values that virtually guarantee your success:
They are honest.
The successful people I have worked with are certainly not blatantly dishonest. Neither are they corner-cutters or “little-white-lie-tellers.” In fact, I have found that the truly successful are entirely honest. They have no problems with the truth. They stand on it and declare it.
Being on honest person takes being at ease with and confident of yourself. It requires a trust that no matter what the truth may bring, things will turn out for the best. When you are confident of yourself and know that the best will turn out, you have no problem telling the truth at all times.
This brings you to a place where people know the real you. It allows them to follow you with assurance. It strengthens relationships, upon which your success rests. It allows you to look yourself in the mirror and see the same person in the mirror that is standing on the floor before it. This builds on itself and enables you to be even more confident and move even more quickly toward your successful future.
Make a commitment to being honest and you make a commitment to your own success.
They are givers, not takers.
The successful people I have worked with have achieved extraordinarily. This includes great families, world records, spiritual abundance, and material wealth. But they didn’t set out to go and get it at all costs. Instead, they set their minds and wills upon serving others the best they could. They realized one of the most universal principles in the world: you reap what you sow. They know that when the give to others, others give back. The reverse is true as well. When you take from others, they try to keep what you are trying to take.
Make a commitment to being a giver and not a taker, and you are making a commitment to your own success.
They are bust-their-tails, hard workers.
Very few people become successful without hard work. Granted, in our “play the lotto” culture, we desire success without work, but history shows that the people who achieve the most success have as a core value the desire to work hard.
One point: They don’t just work hard in order to get the return, though they do indeed do that. They also work hard because they believe in hard work as an ethic and value. They know and appreciate that hard work produces character in them, excellence in their product, and satisfaction for those who benefit from their work. So they operate out of the value of hard work. Make a commitment to hard work and you make a commitment to your own success.
They do what is right.
Successful people are people with a core, people with a rod of strength and integrity that runs right through them. It causes them to see that this world of ours needs people who will do what is right, play by the rules, fight for what is true and still take time to care for the little guy and the underdog. Yes, good guys do finish first after all. And when, on those few occasions they don’t, they decide that they would still do it the same way all over again. Why? Because it is the right thing to do. Believe it or not, even with all of the scandalous behavior that we read about in the newspapers every day, good people are still the backbone of society. They are what make it work and make it benefit everyone.
Make a commitment to doing what is right, and you make a commitment to your own success.
Sure there are lots of values that we should strive to hold on to, but start with these four and you will be well on your way to achieving the kind of life that you desire!

YOUR MOST IMPORTANT INVESTMENT

Most new businesses fail within 2 years, and one of the most common reasons they fail is for lack of capital. They simply run out of money. Too often, a struggling company can't attract enough customers, and they can't afford to advertise. They can't hire and train great people, and without great people, they can't provide superior service. It's a vicious cycle that is far too common.Fortunately, there is a way out that requires very few dollars. Here are my suggestions for the most critical investments every business MUST make to be financially successful:
1. Invest in Yourself! This means investing in professional skills, and in your personal development. Jim Rohn says, "Invest more in yourself than in your career", and I think that's good advice. This means reading! It means attending the best seminars, and talking with the best people. Invest in yourself because the most skilled, the most attractive and the most competent people are NEVER unemployed.
2. Invest in Technology. You can not maintain a professional practice without efficient tools! Streamline and automate everything! A few dollars and a few days of training to use the right tools will pay dividends for years to come.
3. Invest in Communication. Unless you can communicate efficiently with your customers, suppliers, colleagues and staff, all the skills in the world mean nothing. You have to explain. You have to answer questions. You have to calm their fears, solve their problems, and provide value they can understand. This means appropriate use of technology (see above), and it means learning to work well with people. Effective communication is essential.
4. Invest in Customer Care. A few customers well taken-care-of, will provide all the marketing you need! Single-vendor relationships are increasingly common, and a happy customer who comes back, and who recommends you to their friends, and asks for more and more of your services, will make you rich. Extreme customer care doesn't cost; it pays!
If you have any money left over, advertise. If you want it and need it, buy a new building, hire more sales people, or up-date your equipment. But first, make the investments I've listed above. They cost less, and the Return on Investment is huge!

DO YOUR CUSTOMERS LOVE YOU?

Here's a question: Would you rather have 10,000 customers buy your products once, or 500 customers who were raving fans? I hope the answer is obvious!Advertising and marketing make it possible to sell your products around the world, and getting customers to try your service once is a relatively well-defined science. You can hire experts on marketing and branding, and consultants to "target" your niche and refine your message.What you cannot buy (at least not in the same way) is customer loyalty. You buy customer loyalty and repeat business with extraordinary customer care-not customer "service", but honest, extreme, personal caring for your customers. Fortunately, this is not difficult or expensive.Caring for your customers means working with them to solve their problems and achieve their goals. It means listening to them, and responding. It means the old boundaries between "seller" and "buyer" break down and we work as a team to achieve win-win results that enrich us both.Recently, a friend and I compared notes about two local businesses. Bob talked angrily about a company that refused to provide service, a refund or credit when it's product failed to meet his needs. Then we talked about another local vendor who has a reputation for always going the "extra mile". Guess who we'll do business with next time?A few dozen customers, well taken care of, can make you rich. Never, never, never forget that!

SENTENCED TO SUCCESS

I once heard a speaker use the statement, “I have been sentenced to success!” I heard that almost twenty years ago, yet it still sticks in my head.
Imagine that. What if we had been given a life sentence to serve, say 75 years, and the sentence was to do time in a place called “Success”? The truth is that we have.
Let me back up. We have been given a life sentence. But, unlike a sentencing in a real life courtroom, we get to actually choose where we will “do our time.”
Here are some of the choices people make:
The prison of poverty.
Poor people are no better or kinder or anything else than people with money. People are people regardless of how much money they have. Frankly, I have had little and I have had a lot, and yes, I will choose having a lot! When you choose to live in poverty you are in a prison that does not allow you the freedoms we were intended to experience. We are unable to help others as we desire. My advice? Don’t choose a sentence to the prison of poverty.
The prison of depression.
Depression is like a blanket that overwhelms you and eventually smothers you. Now before you go accusing me with, “Chris. You just don’t understand.” Yes I do. I have had a history of depression. Depression is rampant in my family of origin. I know firsthand what a prison depression is. When you are locked up in depression you cannot live life as it was intended. But you can get out! My advice? Don’t choose a sentence to the prison of depression.
The prison of the lack of health.
Lacking health is a real pain! The freedom we lose when we choose to live in a state of a lack of health is terrible – and unnecessary! We don’t have to live in that prison. We can choose a different sentence! We can choose health! My advice? Don’t choose a sentence to the prison of the lack of health.
The prison of doubt, worry, and fear.
This is a dark, dark prison. It is one that haunts you the whole time you reside there. It makes you believe that the surroundings are worse than the really are. It keeps you from enjoying life and becoming the kind of person you were intended to become! My advice? Don’t choose a sentence to the prison of poverty. My advice? Don’t choose a sentence to the prison of doubt, worry and fear.
There is another option. You can choose to be sentenced to success! You can choose to actually be set free! You can choose to walk out of that courtroom and live the life that you choose!
What can you experience when you are sentenced to success How about these:
Good healthFinancial abundanceEmotional freedomPositive relationshipsA career you loveSpiritual libertyAnd how will you experience these? By choice. Your choice. You choose exactly what kind of life you will live. You choose the sentence you will serve here on earth and the experience that you have.
Will you languish in a dark prison or in the open freedom that comes from the sentence of success? That depends on the choices you make.
I challenge you to choose this day to:
Pursue financial independenceDevelop yourself spirituallyMake a change so you are in a career you loveRe-commit yourself to loving relationshipsAchieve emotional healthMake a choice TODAY. Do not spend another day in a prison where you do not belong!
Where will you serve your sentence? You get to decide.
As for me?
I have been sentenced to success!

THE BEST OF TIMES, THE WORST OF TIMES.

I love the classic line from Charles Dickens, "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times." Truly, these are the best (or worst) of times and the beauty of it is, you get to choose!When I watch the news, these are clearly the worst of times. Economic chaos threatens our homes, our auto industry, our banks, and our retirement funds. Our health is threatened by swine flu just when our health care system is falling apart, and our computers are threatened by the "confiker" virus. Terrorists threaten Pakistan and of course, global warming is going to drown us all--unless an asteroid strikes earth and blow us up first. Even Las Vegas is suffering, so things are really bad!On the other hand, terrorists have not shot up my neighborhood in recent memory. My tomatoes (and my crab grass) are coming up right on schedule, there's food in my pantry, my truck is full of gas, my neighbors and my clients seem to like me, and Mary hasn't left me (yet). My dog is at my feet, the sun is shining and birds are singing in the trees. I just enjoyed a great cigar and a good book. Surely, this is the best of times????Who's to decide?Here's the nugget: YOU DO!This week I read one of Dean Koontz' recent books, Odd Hours. Koontz is a prolific writer with a delightfully twisted perspective and his hero, a guy named Odd Thomas (who sees dead people) avoids "contemporary TV, contemporary politics, contemporary art: all too frantic, fevered, and frivolous, or else angry, bitter." Apparently, when your job as a short-order cook is frequently interrupted by the spirits of dead people needing help in their migration to the next world, life is complicated enough without watching the news. While Koontz' whimsical perspective is fun, it contains much truth. If a fry cook's life is too complex to tolerate the news, how about yours (and mine)?
I've been struck, and troubled, by what President Carter once called a spirit of "malaise." I can't speak for the nation, much less the world, but I can report that I've had too many conversations with folks who are worried, anxious, distracted and fearful. Even my spam has turned negative! Instead of telling me I've inherited millions from an unknown relative, now I get warnings about the flu or promising help with my debts! When spam turns negative, I know the world is going to hell in a hand-basket.Well, don't you believe it! I once heard the Dalai Lama say that the basic desire of all human beings is to "be happy." We long for peace, contentment, pride, satisfaction, love and happiness, and the truth is, it's all around us.In many of his programs and presentations, Tony Robbins talks about people who say the one thing they want is "peace of mind," while living frenzied, hectic lives that leave no room for a peaceful moment, much less peace of mind. He points out that peace of mind is available to all of us, any time we want it. Soak in a hot-tub, take a walk, read some poetry, meditate or pray. Peace of mind is available, but not while watching the news or arguing with our kids.I suggest that happiness largely results from an attitude of gratitude. These are the "best of times" if we choose to make them so.
Most TIPS readers are healthy. We are educated. We have friends and opportunity is all around us. We are, by any reasonable standard, wealthy. We can travel, read the best books ever written. We can start businesses, learn new languages or other skills, we can change our minds, and our lives. This week, as an experiment, turn off the news and have a conversation. Turn off the television and turn on Mozart, Beethoven, or Streisand. Worry less and laugh more. Leave work early and invite a friend to dinner, play catch with your kids or walk the dog. Make love more or feed the pigeons at a local park. Give thanks for the roof over your head and a warm bed at night, or perhaps volunteer at a food pantry or pass out balloons at the local hospital. I think you'll find your life is richer and much better. You may even find yourself feeling "happy!"

Quotes of the Week
"How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment to improve the world." -- Anne Frank
"A moment of choice is a moment of truth. It's the testing point of our character and competence." -- Stephen Covey
"What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals." -- Zig Ziglar
"Trust that still, small voice that says, This might work and I'll try it." -- Diane Mariechild

SETTING YOUR GOALS

In many conversations with hundreds of top salespeople over the years, it was discovered that they all have one thing in common. They have taken the time to sit down and create a clear blueprint for themselves and their future lives. Even if they started the process of goal setting and personal strategic planning with a little skepticism, every one of them has become a true believer.
Becoming a True Believer
Every one of them has been amazed at the incredible power of goal setting and strategic planning. Every one of them has accomplished far more than they ever believed possible in selling and they ascribe their success to the deliberate process of thinking through every aspect of their work and their lives, and then developing a detailed, written road map to get them to where they wanted to go.
The Definition of Happiness
Happiness has been defined as, "The progressive achievement of a worthy ideal, or goal." When you are working progressively, step-by-step toward something that is important to you, you generate within yourself a continuous feeling of success and achievement.You feel more positive and motivated. You feel more in control of your own life. You feel happier and more fulfilled. You feel like a winner, and you soon develop the psychological momentum that enables you to overcome obstacles and plough through adversity as you move toward achieving the goals that are most important to you.
Determine Your Values
Personal strategic planning begins with your determining what it is you believe in and stand for-your values. Your values lie at the very core of everything you are as a human being. Your values are the unifying principles and core beliefs of your personality and your character. The virtues and qualities that you stand for are what constitute the person you have become from the beginning of your life to this moment.Your values, virtues and inner beliefs are the axle around which the wheel of your life turns. All improvement in your life begins with you clarifying your true values and then committing yourself to live consistent with them.
Fuzzy or Clear?
Successful people are successful because they are very clear about their values. Unsuccessful people are fuzzy or unsure. Complete failures have no real values at all.
Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Values clarification is the beginning exercise in building self-confidence, self-esteem and personal character. When you take the time to think through your fundamental values, and then commit yourself to living your life consistent with them, you feel a surge of mental strength and well-being. You feel stronger and more capable. You feel more centered in the universe and more competent of accomplishing the goals you set for yourself.
Action Exercises
Here are two things you can do immediately to put these ideas into action.
First, decide for yourself what makes you truly happy and then organize your life around it. Write down your goals and make plans to achieve them.
Second, begin with your values by deciding what it is you stand for and believe in. Commit yourself to live consistent with your inner most convictions - and you'll never make another mistake.

THERE ARE NO GUARANTEES

I just read the following story in the Washington Post about four members of last year’s Forbes 400 list:
“Four of last year's billionaires were wiped out entirely - Swiss shareholder activist Martin Ebner, German media tycoon Leo Kirch, Brazilian television mogul Roberto Marinho and Turkish banker Mehmet Karamehmet.”
Amazing. One year you have over one billion dollars and the next year - poof! - it’s gone. WOW!
So what does that mean? Well, for one it means that your one million could go too. Or your $100,000, or your $50,000.
“That sounds kind of hopeless Chris.”
Not at all. I am not suggesting that we should in any way give up the pursuit of success. I just think we need to understand that there are no guarantees in this life and we should hold all things loosely. The harder you hold on to things, the harder it is for you when you see them go. Wealth and achievement are fine and should be pursued, but they are not the most important things in life, and they can go as quickly as they came. As the old saying goes, “Easy come, easy go.” So what should be our perspective?
I think there are a few things we should keep in mind as we pursue success while understanding that there are no guarantees.
Give it all you have! Above all, give your life everything you have. Go for broke! Try it all, and reach for your dreams. Get to the end of your life knowing you didn’t hold back.
When you get it, hold it loosely. The tighter you hold on to something the more it is blown out of perspective and the more dangerously close to an unhealthy idol it becomes in your life. And the harder it is when it goes. We should enjoy the things we have, whether it is fortune or achievement, but they should not be our whole life.
Keep the best things in life as central. Money isn’t the best thing in life. Neither is achievement. Those things are merely means to an end, not the ends themselves. The true riches of life are people, friends, family, character, faith and the like. Make sure you give these things the proper place they deserve. For example, don’t give up your family to get wealth, because one day your wealth may be gone, and when you return to your family, it may be too.
Share. When you achieve success, share with others. I mean, if it is going to go away, you may as well distribute a little to others before it goes! When you get, give. When you have, distribute. Who knows, if you ever lose it all, one of those friends you gave to may be the one to help you back on your way.
Some of you may say, “Chris you aren’t being appositive thinker.” I sure am! But I am also being realistic. Think of those four billionaires. Had you met them two years ago and walked through their swank offices and mansions you would have thought they were the greatest possibility thinkers on the planet! Maybe they were. But what are they now? BROKE.
There are no guarantees in this life. We should live each day as though it may be the last. Enjoy it to the fullest and plan for what we will do if we are given a tomorrow. If good things come we should enjoy them. If bad days come, we should enjoy them too. It is all part of life and its processes.
Go for all you can but don’t sacrifice the good things to get it - and when you do get it, hold it loosely - because there are no guarantees in this life.