One of the most common challenges clients bring to coaching
is the question of how to achieve their most important
goals. Often, they have important personal or business
goals but they are not achieving them, and in fact, they
often tell me they are not even getting started. How to
help them?
There are many possible reasons for this, of course, but
the question of "why" they are making so little progress is
rarely very important. Who cares "why" we don't make
progress? The key is to find a SOLUTION and start making
real progress toward your most important goals. What we're
looking for is reasonable progress in reasonable time! What
we want is to get and keep moving in the right direction,
day after day!
Here are three of the most common solutions we explore
together:
1. Clarify the REAL desire.
Clients often assume that a coach will be a huge fan of
"goal setting" and are surprised to learn that I'm actually
rather suspicious of most goal-setting programs. Now,
having clear goals is a good thing--I've even written a
book on setting value-driven goals--but most people spend
far too much time setting false goals.
We've all done it. It's New Year's, and we "have to" create
some targets for the coming year. Or, the boss sends us to
a motivational seminar and we are told to come back with a
set of written goals. Obviously, we do what we're told,
whether they reflect our passions and desires, or not. Or,
to pick some other common themes, we all want to lose
weight, manage our time or spend less, so we set that as a
"goal" because it sounds good. No wonder we fail!
Those are NOT true goals! Those are exercises to please
our boss, our spouse or our conscience! Most of the time
they are also exercises in futility. Don't do that to
yourself!
The solution is obvious: Define what you really want and
set that as your goal, whether anyone else is on-board or
even understands what you're trying to do. It's your life!
Set goals that excite you! Most people are actually pretty
good at achieving goals IF the goal is realistic, IF they
have a clear plan, and IF they really, really want it.
2. Create a SYSTEM for achievement.
Weight Watchers(tm), Alcoholic Anonymous and other support
groups work because they create an environment where people
are supported and encouraged to succeed, every step of the
way.
Too many people set goals and try to achieve them in
isolation. Human beings are social creatures and we do our
best when our friends are cheering us on, offering support,
giving advice and making it easy for us to succeed.
Surround yourself with people, posters, music, tools and
models that make it easier to succeed than to fail! Arrange
your life so that everything around you (your "Eco-System")
pulls your forward! If you would like more detail on this,
I've written a book on creating Personal Eco-Systems(tm)
that support us to be strong, persistent and successful.
The key is to design your life so that it is actually much,
much harder to fail than to succeed. Make success the
natural, ordinary and predictable result of your daily
work. You'll still "fail" occasionally, but it should
arouse surprise and curiosity, not discouragement.
Design elegant, robust systems for success!
3. Take SMALL steps.
Too often we try to take giant leaps, when we are far more
likely to achieve our goals with a series of small, safe,
painless baby-steps.
Giant leaps are fun and dramatic, but they can also be up-
setting. They change our world and confuse people. That's
one reason many people, after losing weight in a hurry,
gain it back just as quickly. They've changed "who they
are," including their body image, their ward-robe, diet and
lifestyle, and the brain naturally misses the old, familiar
patterns.
The wisdom of experience tells us to slow down and take
smaller steps.
Today, take one small step in the direction you want to go.
Save a dollar, if saving money is one of your goals. Skip
desert if losing weight is a goal. Compliment your spouse
if you want a closer, more loving relationship.
Take small steps, but take them every single day. Take the
smallest, safest, easiest step you can, but keep moving in
the direction you want to go. If you like the results,
simply do it again tomorrow, and the day after that, and
one more time, the day after that. To achieve great things,
keep walking, one step at a time, in the direction of your
goal.
is the question of how to achieve their most important
goals. Often, they have important personal or business
goals but they are not achieving them, and in fact, they
often tell me they are not even getting started. How to
help them?
There are many possible reasons for this, of course, but
the question of "why" they are making so little progress is
rarely very important. Who cares "why" we don't make
progress? The key is to find a SOLUTION and start making
real progress toward your most important goals. What we're
looking for is reasonable progress in reasonable time! What
we want is to get and keep moving in the right direction,
day after day!
Here are three of the most common solutions we explore
together:
1. Clarify the REAL desire.
Clients often assume that a coach will be a huge fan of
"goal setting" and are surprised to learn that I'm actually
rather suspicious of most goal-setting programs. Now,
having clear goals is a good thing--I've even written a
book on setting value-driven goals--but most people spend
far too much time setting false goals.
We've all done it. It's New Year's, and we "have to" create
some targets for the coming year. Or, the boss sends us to
a motivational seminar and we are told to come back with a
set of written goals. Obviously, we do what we're told,
whether they reflect our passions and desires, or not. Or,
to pick some other common themes, we all want to lose
weight, manage our time or spend less, so we set that as a
"goal" because it sounds good. No wonder we fail!
Those are NOT true goals! Those are exercises to please
our boss, our spouse or our conscience! Most of the time
they are also exercises in futility. Don't do that to
yourself!
The solution is obvious: Define what you really want and
set that as your goal, whether anyone else is on-board or
even understands what you're trying to do. It's your life!
Set goals that excite you! Most people are actually pretty
good at achieving goals IF the goal is realistic, IF they
have a clear plan, and IF they really, really want it.
2. Create a SYSTEM for achievement.
Weight Watchers(tm), Alcoholic Anonymous and other support
groups work because they create an environment where people
are supported and encouraged to succeed, every step of the
way.
Too many people set goals and try to achieve them in
isolation. Human beings are social creatures and we do our
best when our friends are cheering us on, offering support,
giving advice and making it easy for us to succeed.
Surround yourself with people, posters, music, tools and
models that make it easier to succeed than to fail! Arrange
your life so that everything around you (your "Eco-System")
pulls your forward! If you would like more detail on this,
I've written a book on creating Personal Eco-Systems(tm)
that support us to be strong, persistent and successful.
The key is to design your life so that it is actually much,
much harder to fail than to succeed. Make success the
natural, ordinary and predictable result of your daily
work. You'll still "fail" occasionally, but it should
arouse surprise and curiosity, not discouragement.
Design elegant, robust systems for success!
3. Take SMALL steps.
Too often we try to take giant leaps, when we are far more
likely to achieve our goals with a series of small, safe,
painless baby-steps.
Giant leaps are fun and dramatic, but they can also be up-
setting. They change our world and confuse people. That's
one reason many people, after losing weight in a hurry,
gain it back just as quickly. They've changed "who they
are," including their body image, their ward-robe, diet and
lifestyle, and the brain naturally misses the old, familiar
patterns.
The wisdom of experience tells us to slow down and take
smaller steps.
Today, take one small step in the direction you want to go.
Save a dollar, if saving money is one of your goals. Skip
desert if losing weight is a goal. Compliment your spouse
if you want a closer, more loving relationship.
Take small steps, but take them every single day. Take the
smallest, safest, easiest step you can, but keep moving in
the direction you want to go. If you like the results,
simply do it again tomorrow, and the day after that, and
one more time, the day after that. To achieve great things,
keep walking, one step at a time, in the direction of your
goal.
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