Here's a vital question: What is your most important
investment? What's the most important thing on your "to do"
list? Or to put it another way, what is the one thing you
absolutely, positively must do during your brief time on
this small planet?
That's not a trick question! But it does have a "tricky"
answer.
Most people answer with things like their spirituality,
their children or family, their career or health. If those
are your answers, you may want to think again.
All of those things are important! But I'm indebted to one
of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, for helping me dig deeper on
this one. Thomas argued that the most important thing in
life is "self-ishness."
Ordinarily, we associate selfishness with spoiled kids
fighting over toys in a sandbox and it's not a pretty
picture. Fortunately, that's not at all what Thomas had in
mind.
He pointed out that our first obligation is to figure out
who we are, what we want, and where we're going in life.
Until we discover our "Self," we are in a sense living
someone else's life!
And, here's a critical point. Figuring out who we are and
what we'll do with our life doesn't happen by accident!
Carl Jung said that most people don't figure this out until
after age forty! It takes a long time to grow up and take
care of life's essentials. As young adults most of us are
busy with school and work, starting and raising a family,
launching a career, and a thousand other things.
Fortunately, as adults we can make the decision to pause,
step back and ask the big questions. I find it incredibly
sad that so many people never face this essential
responsibility. It's no good living by someone else's rules
or following someone else's dream. Life is a gift, but to
make the most of it we must accept that "some assembly is
required" and make the effort to find our own way in this
world.
Thomas was right about the importance of being "self-ish."
But he was wrong about how we do it.
Thomas developed a theory he called "personal evolution"
and speculated that we could create a process of
"automatically" evolving into the person we want to become.
Frankly, as much as I admired him (he passed away several
years ago), I think he was wrong about this.
I think existing is easy and some of us virtually "paint by
the numbers" or "go through the motions" of living our
lives! Existence is (relatively) easy, but growth requires
hard work, and a plan.
I think the term "personal development" is a more accurate
description of how we develop a "life of one's own." I
think responsible adults take control of their own lives
because life expects us to learn and stretch. It expects us
to make choices, set a course, develop skills and work
hard. Life asks us to try things, make mistakes, and commit
to a path of growth and maturity. Anyone can grow old, but
growth only comes with effort and commitment.
So here's the challenge: Who are you striving to become? Do
you have a plan? Are you making the daily investment?
I don't think this has to be "hard" or expensive. In many
ways, it's very easy! Think about this--would you rather
live a life of distractions, obeying other people's rules,
and following someone else's script, or a life focused on
your own most important priorities? I think in many ways,
living a GREAT life is much easier than living an ordinary
life. Sure, it requires a few basic disciplines. It
requires hard choices and the integrity to stick with them.
But in many ways, a GREAT life is actually much easier and
infinitely more satisfying!
Here are four simple--not easy, but simple--steps:
1. Get clear about who you are, what you value and where
you're going in life. Be very "self-ish" about this!
2. Develop a plan. What do you need to change? What do you
need to learn? Who will you be five years from now, and how
will you make that happen? Take notes and write this stuff
down.
3. Take action every day. It doesn't have to be dramatic
action, but every day, stick with it. Read. Talk with smart
people. Eliminate one or two distractions. Spend time on
things that make you proud, that stretch and strengthen
you.
4. At least once a year, invest time (and a few dollars)
in your self! Get away for perspective. Get away to learn.
Get away to THINK! Get away to organize, plan and grow. Get
away so you can return home clear-headed, focused and
energized.
investment? What's the most important thing on your "to do"
list? Or to put it another way, what is the one thing you
absolutely, positively must do during your brief time on
this small planet?
That's not a trick question! But it does have a "tricky"
answer.
Most people answer with things like their spirituality,
their children or family, their career or health. If those
are your answers, you may want to think again.
All of those things are important! But I'm indebted to one
of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, for helping me dig deeper on
this one. Thomas argued that the most important thing in
life is "self-ishness."
Ordinarily, we associate selfishness with spoiled kids
fighting over toys in a sandbox and it's not a pretty
picture. Fortunately, that's not at all what Thomas had in
mind.
He pointed out that our first obligation is to figure out
who we are, what we want, and where we're going in life.
Until we discover our "Self," we are in a sense living
someone else's life!
And, here's a critical point. Figuring out who we are and
what we'll do with our life doesn't happen by accident!
Carl Jung said that most people don't figure this out until
after age forty! It takes a long time to grow up and take
care of life's essentials. As young adults most of us are
busy with school and work, starting and raising a family,
launching a career, and a thousand other things.
Fortunately, as adults we can make the decision to pause,
step back and ask the big questions. I find it incredibly
sad that so many people never face this essential
responsibility. It's no good living by someone else's rules
or following someone else's dream. Life is a gift, but to
make the most of it we must accept that "some assembly is
required" and make the effort to find our own way in this
world.
Thomas was right about the importance of being "self-ish."
But he was wrong about how we do it.
Thomas developed a theory he called "personal evolution"
and speculated that we could create a process of
"automatically" evolving into the person we want to become.
Frankly, as much as I admired him (he passed away several
years ago), I think he was wrong about this.
I think existing is easy and some of us virtually "paint by
the numbers" or "go through the motions" of living our
lives! Existence is (relatively) easy, but growth requires
hard work, and a plan.
I think the term "personal development" is a more accurate
description of how we develop a "life of one's own." I
think responsible adults take control of their own lives
because life expects us to learn and stretch. It expects us
to make choices, set a course, develop skills and work
hard. Life asks us to try things, make mistakes, and commit
to a path of growth and maturity. Anyone can grow old, but
growth only comes with effort and commitment.
So here's the challenge: Who are you striving to become? Do
you have a plan? Are you making the daily investment?
I don't think this has to be "hard" or expensive. In many
ways, it's very easy! Think about this--would you rather
live a life of distractions, obeying other people's rules,
and following someone else's script, or a life focused on
your own most important priorities? I think in many ways,
living a GREAT life is much easier than living an ordinary
life. Sure, it requires a few basic disciplines. It
requires hard choices and the integrity to stick with them.
But in many ways, a GREAT life is actually much easier and
infinitely more satisfying!
Here are four simple--not easy, but simple--steps:
1. Get clear about who you are, what you value and where
you're going in life. Be very "self-ish" about this!
2. Develop a plan. What do you need to change? What do you
need to learn? Who will you be five years from now, and how
will you make that happen? Take notes and write this stuff
down.
3. Take action every day. It doesn't have to be dramatic
action, but every day, stick with it. Read. Talk with smart
people. Eliminate one or two distractions. Spend time on
things that make you proud, that stretch and strengthen
you.
4. At least once a year, invest time (and a few dollars)
in your self! Get away for perspective. Get away to learn.
Get away to THINK! Get away to organize, plan and grow. Get
away so you can return home clear-headed, focused and
energized.
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