From personal experience and working with hundreds of
clients, I notice that change is hard. And, perhaps most
frustrating of all, too often old habits come back and
change rarely lasts. I think we can fix that!
Everyone seems to have some habit or behavior they want to
change. Maybe it's spending less, or weighing less, or using
time more productively, but too often people set a goal,
decide to "go for it" and try really hard. Sometimes they
change for a while, but in the end, they revert back to old
habits and they feel like a "failure." They get cynical and
discouraged. They even start making fun of "New Year's
Resolutions" and doubt that goal-setting programs will ever
work.
That's a shame. Fortunately, there is a way to be
successful--if you know the recipe!
Step 1: Acknowledge that change involves. . .change! Habits
die hard. The brain has tried-and-true neural pathways that
mostly serve us well and make life easier and efficient for
us. That's actually a very good thing! But when we try to
change our habits (neural pathways), the brain resists. Take
this normal resistance seriously, admit it exists, and use
powerful strategies to install new habits. If we don't do
this first step, in the end, old habits will return.
Step 2: Be PRECISE about the change you want. Generalities
and hopes to "do better" won't cut it. Decide exactly what
you want, what it will look like, and how you will measure
your progress. Skipping the few minutes it takes to do this
step carefully and thoroughly is a setup for failure. Be
precise! Define the exact change you want. Remember, clarity
is power!
Step 3: Lists the COSTS of not changing. What will it cost
you over a lifetime to continue your old habit? Will you die
younger? Will you be poorer or more frustrated or have less
integrity? Again, do not skip this step! There are reasons
(important, vital reasons) you want to change. Write them
down.
Step 4: List the ADVANTAGES of making the change you want.
How will you (and your loved ones) benefit from this change?
Will you be richer, stronger, live longer, be happier, or
healthier? Will you be more fulfilled? Will you have greater
integrity or achieve more in life? What are the real,
tangible benefits from making this change? List them all!
Step 5: DECIDE the change is worth it! Make the commitment.
Design systems and strategies for success. Think it through
and be very clear that this "new you" is going to happen,
and quickly! Being "interested" or hopeful, or wishing for
change is not enough. Assess the costs and advantages, then
decide.
Step 6: Be ACCOUNTABLE. Tell people about the change you
are making and ask them to monitor your progress. Use a
MasterMind. Ask family and loved ones to be your
cheerleaders. Report on your progress (and, if appropriate,
on your failures) and use your support team to cheer you on.
Get a coach! Fitness is easy if your best friend, a loved
one, or your team is waiting for you at the gym! Be
accountable!
Step 7: CHART your progress. Post your weight on the
refrigerator door. Post your monthly budget where the family
can see it. Use graphs and pictures to mark your progress
and get feedback from people who care about your success.
Step 8: CELEBRATE! Too many people skip or forget this key
step! As you hit your benchmarks or when you are convinced
the new habit is successfully installed, have a family
celebration! Mark your victories! Change is hard and when
you've achieved it, you deserve a BIG reward, a victory
celebration and a HAPPY DANCE! Do this. It will make
everything easier.
Change can be hard, but it's not all that hard. We change
and grow, we learn new things and become new people all the
time. When the change we desire is specific, the costs and
benefits are clear, and we have the support of people who
love us, change is almost easy. And definitely more fun! You
can do this! The key is to plan wisely, start today, and
stay the course.
clients, I notice that change is hard. And, perhaps most
frustrating of all, too often old habits come back and
change rarely lasts. I think we can fix that!
Everyone seems to have some habit or behavior they want to
change. Maybe it's spending less, or weighing less, or using
time more productively, but too often people set a goal,
decide to "go for it" and try really hard. Sometimes they
change for a while, but in the end, they revert back to old
habits and they feel like a "failure." They get cynical and
discouraged. They even start making fun of "New Year's
Resolutions" and doubt that goal-setting programs will ever
work.
That's a shame. Fortunately, there is a way to be
successful--if you know the recipe!
Step 1: Acknowledge that change involves. . .change! Habits
die hard. The brain has tried-and-true neural pathways that
mostly serve us well and make life easier and efficient for
us. That's actually a very good thing! But when we try to
change our habits (neural pathways), the brain resists. Take
this normal resistance seriously, admit it exists, and use
powerful strategies to install new habits. If we don't do
this first step, in the end, old habits will return.
Step 2: Be PRECISE about the change you want. Generalities
and hopes to "do better" won't cut it. Decide exactly what
you want, what it will look like, and how you will measure
your progress. Skipping the few minutes it takes to do this
step carefully and thoroughly is a setup for failure. Be
precise! Define the exact change you want. Remember, clarity
is power!
Step 3: Lists the COSTS of not changing. What will it cost
you over a lifetime to continue your old habit? Will you die
younger? Will you be poorer or more frustrated or have less
integrity? Again, do not skip this step! There are reasons
(important, vital reasons) you want to change. Write them
down.
Step 4: List the ADVANTAGES of making the change you want.
How will you (and your loved ones) benefit from this change?
Will you be richer, stronger, live longer, be happier, or
healthier? Will you be more fulfilled? Will you have greater
integrity or achieve more in life? What are the real,
tangible benefits from making this change? List them all!
Step 5: DECIDE the change is worth it! Make the commitment.
Design systems and strategies for success. Think it through
and be very clear that this "new you" is going to happen,
and quickly! Being "interested" or hopeful, or wishing for
change is not enough. Assess the costs and advantages, then
decide.
Step 6: Be ACCOUNTABLE. Tell people about the change you
are making and ask them to monitor your progress. Use a
MasterMind. Ask family and loved ones to be your
cheerleaders. Report on your progress (and, if appropriate,
on your failures) and use your support team to cheer you on.
Get a coach! Fitness is easy if your best friend, a loved
one, or your team is waiting for you at the gym! Be
accountable!
Step 7: CHART your progress. Post your weight on the
refrigerator door. Post your monthly budget where the family
can see it. Use graphs and pictures to mark your progress
and get feedback from people who care about your success.
Step 8: CELEBRATE! Too many people skip or forget this key
step! As you hit your benchmarks or when you are convinced
the new habit is successfully installed, have a family
celebration! Mark your victories! Change is hard and when
you've achieved it, you deserve a BIG reward, a victory
celebration and a HAPPY DANCE! Do this. It will make
everything easier.
Change can be hard, but it's not all that hard. We change
and grow, we learn new things and become new people all the
time. When the change we desire is specific, the costs and
benefits are clear, and we have the support of people who
love us, change is almost easy. And definitely more fun! You
can do this! The key is to plan wisely, start today, and
stay the course.
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