BE EXTRAORDINARY NO MATTER YOUR CIRCUMSTANCES

The belief that your circumstances will prevent you from achieving the success you desire. No matter who you are, how you were raised, what your current circumstances are, I believe that extraordinary is a choice. You see people who are extraordinary in all kinds of situations that are extremely difficult. I just watched the movie Rising Phoenix about the Paralympics — and I was in tears almost the entire time.

If you’ve ever find yourself saying “I can’t” or “I’m not enough,” I highly recommend watching that film and being inspired by people who had every reason in the world to utter those words, but choose not to. One of the most affecting stories was about Italian wheelchair fencer Bebe Vio. When she was just 11 years old, she contracted Meningitis, and in order to save her life, doctors had to amputate her legs at the knee and her forearms. If you’ve ever watched fencing, you know how incredibly precise you have to be with each and every movement. 

But she refused to back down… refused to give up on her dream. And just two years later, she competed in her first wheelchair fencing competition. Now, she’s the 2016 and 2020 Paralympic champion. Incredible. I hope you can see that it’s not about where you came from… it’s about where you’re going. It’s the everyday choices that become life-changers. And the truth is that there’s at least one thing — if not a whole bunch of things — that you can be really awesome at. 

The secret is to choose the things that you want to focus on cultivating. It doesn’t need to be something world-changing, like becoming a Paralympian. It can be something like being an awesome pastry chef. Or a high-converting copywriter. Or [you fill in the blank with WHAT you want to be]. 

Remember the Dunning-Kruger effect from earlier? It also works in reverse. People at all levels of performance — including the excellent level — are equally bad at estimating their performance relative to other people. So that means when you’re awesome at something, you actually don’t know HOW awesome you are. That’s good news. Because there are probably things you’re already awesome at. But because they come so easily to you, so naturally, you don’t even realize it.  If something is so easy, how could it matter, right? 

The reason why this Dunning-Kruger effect works both ways is based on what’s commonly known as the Four Stages of Competence. 

1. Unconscious Incompetence: Everyone starts here. This is where you don’t even realize that you’re incompetent, because you don’t know what you don’t know. But as you learn and grow, this Stage gives way to…
2. Conscious Incompetence: This is where you now know enough to be aware of how have the understanding to realize how incompetent you are. Because this is such a challenging Stage, many people get stuck here. But when you persevere, this Stage gives way to…
3. Conscious Competence: This is where you’ve gained some skills and ability, but it still takes effort for you. But when you keep growing and evolving, this Stage gives way to… you have to make an effort and try in order to be good at something. Which gives way through mastery, through excellence, through extraordinariness to… 
4. Unconscious Competence: This is where you have excellence or even mastery. Where you may even be extraordinary.

And when you’re in Unconscious Competence, it feels like a total state of flow where you’re living (and giving) in your genius zone. You feel alive. Time ceases to exist.   You’re in the moment creating something new. You’re just doing it and not having to think about it. It’s so effortless that you don’t even realize how awesome you are. The key to being extraordinary and living in your genius zone is to know where you want to be extraordinary. And at the same time, where you’ll be happy to remain average — or even below average. And then focusing in a way that aligns with your strengths, rather than dragging your weaknesses along. Because the truth is you only have so many hours in a day. And you only have so much “disposable energy” to devote to growing and improving your life. You need to choose wisely and make the most of it.