"First emotionally connect. Understand their thinking. Then work on fixing things." This is one of the most important recommendations I give to executives I coach. It counters the common instinct to instantly jump in with the solution and save the day.
Now if there's an emergency, of course, act first. Otherwise, take a moment to connect, to find common ground, to let them know you understand and care--even if you don't agree. That way, your solution will be much better received.
This is the Amare Way leadership principle Aim for Connection in action. It guides leaders to prioritize empathy and understanding over immediate problem-solving, even when the urge to react swiftly is strong. It's how to see beyond the problem at hand to the people involved.
Do you actively listen to understand, or just to respond?
How often do you acknowledge your team's perspective before offering solutions?
In what ways can you foster a more empathetic and trusting work environment?
7 Techniques for Successful Leaders to Build Trust and Solve Problems
Start with the common ground: Frame the conversation by voicing the outcome that is important to everyone involved. Come back to it if things drift off course.
Power pause: When you find yourself jumping to solutions, consciously pause. Collect your thoughts, control your immediate impulse to solve, and refocus on the importance of connecting first.
Know your truth: Be clear about what you believe and why. Share your perspective without requiring it to be the right solution.
Attune to the emotional climate: In the heat of the moment, acknowledge the strong feelings in the room. Say something like, "I see this is something you really care about," or "I understand that tensions are high."
Focus your listening: Direct your full attention to actively listening to and understanding the concerns being expressed. Resist the urge to interrupt or provide solutions immediately.
Ask clarifying questions: Be genuinely curious. Ask open-ended questions to gain a deeper understanding of their perspective, like "I'm wondering, how did you get to that conclusion?"
Manage your emotions: Tune in. If you feel yourself getting impatient, take a step back mentally and remind yourself of the importance of connection over immediate problem-solving.
"People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." That's a quote from President Theodore Roosevelt and it's a great reminder. In high-pressure moments, the instinct to immediately solve problems can overshadow the importance of connection. As an emotionally intelligent leader, your challenge is to find the delicate balance between swift action and empathetic engagement. The key is not to suppress the urgency for action but to channel it through a lens of understanding and empathy.
Amare love-powered leaders shine in tough times. By staying connected, acknowledging emotions, and genuinely caring, you build a resilient foundation of trust. And you get to better solutions with greater buy-in.
Commit to being the powerful leader who listens first, understands deeply, and then leads with compassion and insight.
BY MOSHE ENGELBERG, PHD, SPEAKER, EXECUTIVE COACH, AND AUTHOR OF "THE AMARE WAVE"@MOSHEENGELBERG
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