Success is so much easier, and a whole lot more fun than
failure!
For some reason, this week I had a series of conversations
with unhappy folks. A few were phone calls from people
looking for "coaching," by which they meant, "Rescue me!"
One was a conversation with an acquaintance, another was
with a distant relative. In one way or another, each wanted
me to know how hard they tried and how unfair it was that
they were miserable.
While it may be hard-hearted, even callous, what I got from
listening to them is that when we ignore the "basic rules,"
life becomes really, really hard. But when we cooperate
with the "rules of the road," life is (generally speaking)
pretty logical, comparatively easy, and a whole lot more
fun.
Failure is hard, painful and often, lonely. In contrast,
success is fun, rewarding, fulfilling, and almost never
lonely. I'd rather be successful! The question is, "How can
we guarantee success?"
Obviously, there can be no actual guarantees in life. Bad
things happen to good people. But we can dramatically
impact our chances and put the odds in our favor. Here are
a few of the "basics" that come to mind.
1. The Law of Cause and Effect. We live in a logical world
with predictable outcomes. Those who exercise will be
healthier than those who don't. Being kind, generous and
likeable usually works better than being mean, greedy or
cranky. You have to "put in" before you can "take out."
These old cliche seem to be true over time and apply to
pretty much everyone.
2. Planning beats Chaos. Goals and organization beat
random chance every time. Those with a vision and a plan
will be more productive than those who are reactive and
live by impulse or confusion. Almost no one consciously
chooses chaos, but lots of folks unintentionally choose it
when they complain that discipline, organization and focus
are "too boring" or lack spontaneity. Of course they do!
Long-lasting success rarely happens by accident.
3. Discipline beats Drama. Some people crave drama,
anxiety and adrenaline much like drug addicts crave heroin.
But successful people tend to live very organized,
structured, predictable lives. They abhor chaos and are
rarely surprised. They get up and go to work. They pay
their bills, spend time with family and loved ones, get
enough sleep, and live within their means. Eventually, we
call them "over-night successes!" It works every time it's
tried.
4. "You are the average of the five people you spend the
most time with," and I think that applies to those we
actually hang out with, and figuratively in terms of who we
admire, read about, and emulate. Most of us had mothers who
warned us to choose our friends carefully. It's true! Hang
out with the best and the brightest. Hang out with focused,
productive, successful people. Read biographies of great
people. It makes a difference.
5. Choose your dreams carefully. Words influence us and
Socrates observed that, "We become what we think about all
day long." Our dreams and desires make a difference. When
we think about our problems, they get bigger and more
troubling. When we look for solutions, we tend to find
them. Emphasize "I can" rather than "I can't." Focus on "I
will" rather than, "I'll try." Imagine the future you
prefer more vividly than the one you fear. Over time, our
actions always reflect our dominate expectations, so expect
a positive, productive future.
You can undoubtedly think of other truisms about life. Eat
well, laugh often, and love much are a few that come
immediately to mind. The secrets to a great life are not
really secrets! They are always on display for the
discerning observer. Copy the best that is around you! Some
folks manage their time, money and energy unusually well.
Learn from them! Some folks solve problems; others complain
about them. Choose wisely!
Happiness, success and fulfillment are not all that
difficult, especially in our free and prosperous society.
Sure, having more money, more education or being "lucky"
helps, but no one has an excuse for a miserable life. Learn
from the best, copy things that work, and live well. You'll
be glad you did.
failure!
For some reason, this week I had a series of conversations
with unhappy folks. A few were phone calls from people
looking for "coaching," by which they meant, "Rescue me!"
One was a conversation with an acquaintance, another was
with a distant relative. In one way or another, each wanted
me to know how hard they tried and how unfair it was that
they were miserable.
While it may be hard-hearted, even callous, what I got from
listening to them is that when we ignore the "basic rules,"
life becomes really, really hard. But when we cooperate
with the "rules of the road," life is (generally speaking)
pretty logical, comparatively easy, and a whole lot more
fun.
Failure is hard, painful and often, lonely. In contrast,
success is fun, rewarding, fulfilling, and almost never
lonely. I'd rather be successful! The question is, "How can
we guarantee success?"
Obviously, there can be no actual guarantees in life. Bad
things happen to good people. But we can dramatically
impact our chances and put the odds in our favor. Here are
a few of the "basics" that come to mind.
1. The Law of Cause and Effect. We live in a logical world
with predictable outcomes. Those who exercise will be
healthier than those who don't. Being kind, generous and
likeable usually works better than being mean, greedy or
cranky. You have to "put in" before you can "take out."
These old cliche seem to be true over time and apply to
pretty much everyone.
2. Planning beats Chaos. Goals and organization beat
random chance every time. Those with a vision and a plan
will be more productive than those who are reactive and
live by impulse or confusion. Almost no one consciously
chooses chaos, but lots of folks unintentionally choose it
when they complain that discipline, organization and focus
are "too boring" or lack spontaneity. Of course they do!
Long-lasting success rarely happens by accident.
3. Discipline beats Drama. Some people crave drama,
anxiety and adrenaline much like drug addicts crave heroin.
But successful people tend to live very organized,
structured, predictable lives. They abhor chaos and are
rarely surprised. They get up and go to work. They pay
their bills, spend time with family and loved ones, get
enough sleep, and live within their means. Eventually, we
call them "over-night successes!" It works every time it's
tried.
4. "You are the average of the five people you spend the
most time with," and I think that applies to those we
actually hang out with, and figuratively in terms of who we
admire, read about, and emulate. Most of us had mothers who
warned us to choose our friends carefully. It's true! Hang
out with the best and the brightest. Hang out with focused,
productive, successful people. Read biographies of great
people. It makes a difference.
5. Choose your dreams carefully. Words influence us and
Socrates observed that, "We become what we think about all
day long." Our dreams and desires make a difference. When
we think about our problems, they get bigger and more
troubling. When we look for solutions, we tend to find
them. Emphasize "I can" rather than "I can't." Focus on "I
will" rather than, "I'll try." Imagine the future you
prefer more vividly than the one you fear. Over time, our
actions always reflect our dominate expectations, so expect
a positive, productive future.
You can undoubtedly think of other truisms about life. Eat
well, laugh often, and love much are a few that come
immediately to mind. The secrets to a great life are not
really secrets! They are always on display for the
discerning observer. Copy the best that is around you! Some
folks manage their time, money and energy unusually well.
Learn from them! Some folks solve problems; others complain
about them. Choose wisely!
Happiness, success and fulfillment are not all that
difficult, especially in our free and prosperous society.
Sure, having more money, more education or being "lucky"
helps, but no one has an excuse for a miserable life. Learn
from the best, copy things that work, and live well. You'll
be glad you did.
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