YOUR MOST IMPORTANT COMMITMENT

Here's a vital question: What is your most important
commitment? What's the most important thing for you to
"take care of" in life?
That's not a trick question! But I think it does have a
"tricky" answer.
Most people answer with things like their spirituality,
their children or family, their career or health. If those
are your answers, you may want to think again.
All of those things are important! But I'm indebted to one
of my mentors, Thomas Leonard, for helping me dig deeper on
this one. Thomas argued that what he called "self-ishness"
was the most important thing in life.
Ordinarily, we associated selfishness with spoiled children
fighting over toys in the sandbox and it's an ugly picture.
But it's not what Thomas meant.
He pointed out that our first obligation is to figure out
who we are and where we're going in life. Until we discover
our "Self," we are in a sense living someone else's life!
And, here's a critical point. Figuring out who we are and
what we'll do with our life doesn't happen by accident!
Carl Jung said that most people don't figure this out until
about age 40! It takes a long time to grow up and take care
of life's essentials. As young adults most of us are busy
with school and work, starting and raising a family and
doing a thousand other things.
Fortunately, as adults we have the opportunity to step back
and ask the big questions. Thomas was right about the
importance of being "self-ish." You must figure life out
for yourself! But he was wrong about how we do that.
Thomas developed a theory he called "personal evolution"
and speculated that there could be an ordinary, daily
process of evolving into the person we want to become.
Frankly, as much as I admired him (he passed away a couple
years ago), I think he was wrong about this.
I think "existing" is easy, but growth requires hard work,
and a plan.
I much prefer the traditional term, "personal development."
I think responsible adults must take charge of their own
lives. Life expects us to learn and stretch, It expects us
to set a course and develop skills. We have to try things,
make mistakes, and commit to a path of growth and maturity.
Anyone can grow old, but growth comes with effort and
commitment.
So here's the challenge: Who are you striving to become? Do
you have a plan? Are you making the daily investment?
I don't think this has to be "hard" or expensive. In many
ways, it's very easy! Think about this-would you rather
live a chaotic life of distractions, problems and debt, or
an orderly life focused on your most important priorities?
I think in many ways, living a GREAT life is much easier
than living an ordinary life. Sure, it requires a few basic
disciplines. It requires hard choices and the integrity to
stick with them. But in many ways, a GREAT life is actually
much easier and infinitely more satisfying!
Here are four simple-not always easy, but simple-steps:
1. Get clear about who you are, what you value and where
you're going in life. Be very "self-ish" about this!
2. Develop a plan. What do you need to change? What do you
need to learn? Who will you be five years from now, and how
will you make that happen? Take notes and write this stuff
down.
3. Take action every day. It doesn't have to be dramatic
action, but every day, stick with it. Read. Talk with smart
people. Eliminate one or two distractions. Spend time on
things that make you proud, that stretch and strengthen
you.
4. At least once a year, invest time (and a few dollars)
in your SELF! Get away for perspective. Get away to learn.
Get away to THINK! Get away to organize, plan and grow. Get
away so you can return home clear-headed, focused and
energized.