Wednesday, February 11, 2009

A DOUBLE EDGE SWORD OF FEAR

I get a lot of questions from around the world from people who are successful in their careers in terms of money. They make a lot of it. They are driven to do well in the business world. Many of these "successful" people are driven because they are so afraid of falling on their keysters and having other people know about it.You see, fear can create retreat or it can force you try even harder to succeed (or not fail). For those whose fears have motivated them, many turn into not very nice people, angry people, separated if not physically, then emotionally from others.Here is a story sent by a good man who had some very unsupportive beliefs that drove him to succeed, but separated him from other people and the true essence of success. Here is his story and how he overcame it.
I am from a middle class family with a father who retired from the police but the ways of police never left him. He brought us up with an iron hand. In the process, my self esteem and confidence took abashing and I became an extremely shy young person. I entered college and kept much to myself at school. In my sixth form, I was made a Prefect and the routine demanded for the prefects to hold assemblies in the morning and the outcome can only be imagined. I stood before the whole school, tried to utter some words but they wouldn't come. I stuttered, trembled, looked at the crowd and became even more frightened. When a few junior boys giggled, I became foolish and confused and had to be helped out. It was extremely difficult to continue after that, but, I had to finish my entire 1 year term. The stress can only be imagined. I read any self help books I could lay my hands on, virtually any one I could find in the market including Ralph Waldo Trine's 'In tune with the Infinite'. With these books, I had to absolutely believe I could do it and with fear already in my system and heart palpitating, it failed me at crucial moments.I left college absolutely dejected and when the book 'Intune with the Infinite' put my mind on auto control, I took it and burnt it. With no help whatsoever, I entered the University and took solace in drinking. The ladies avoided me as much as I avoided them. My social life was greatlyhampered and I could only function or go out to meet people with alcohol in my system. I never took drugs. I had constant palpitation of the heart and the Adrenaline would flow at any slight indication of 'danger' which to me was a gathering of people. Though a first class student, I passed University with average grades and got married. In my place of work, I managed to maintain a high standard of work, but my social life was nothing to write home about. Going home after work was always terrible and with the constant quarrels' at home, my first wife fled when she could no longer bear it. My fear of public places continued when I formed my own office. On a certain day, my staff, about 20 of them were all in the General when I, the Director entered. They all chorused a greeting, but, the director who at that moment experienced a ceaseless flow of Adrenaline fled to theBoardroom. The confused staff quickly retreated to their various offices and avoided the General office as much aspossible. At this stage I went to the internet for help. I got intouch with Think right now and ordered "Releasing Fear of Failure!" - http://www.thinkrightnow.com/a/rfof.asp as well as aboutnine other titles in quick succession.The result was amazing. My confidence came back, my relationships improved. I stopped drinking alcohol and my family can not stop wondering what has come over their father. I don't run away from people again including my 'staff'and you could sense the happiness both at home and in the office.
-Mr. Harold, Nigeria
Excellent. Being human, we all err. Now, as always, mistakes can be costly. But what is more costly, the stress we feel from the need to be perfect, or making mistakes, being imperfect and being criticized for it? The evaluation of a person that he or she is "down to earth" or "genuine" is one of the highest compliments any of us could be given. It's shocking to many when they meet a well known, successful person and find them to be very nice, calm, disarming. Many people expect successful people (in their careers) to be a-holes. Yes, many are. But many are not. An idea that I try to live by is one from the old basketball coach John Wooden. His definition of success is that success is the joy you feel in doing your best. He doesn't say in being the best. He doesn't say that success is when you win. He makes it clear that when you do the best that you can, that must be enough. That is a big reason why he won 10 national titles in 12years. Funny that he began coaching UCLA in 1948 but didn't win his first national title until he'd coached the Bruins for 15 years. Then, 10 titles in 12 years. Obviously, he learned a few things while he and his teams were failing. And not just failing, but failing very publicly, with people in the stands booing. With writers writing about his team's failures... and writing about his poor decisions. Wooden is one of the people I studied and why it is so effective at instilling the mindset found in people who are courageous when they must be.Want to be loved, to be more successful, and to succeed without the stress that fear creates? Then get and use 'Releasing Fear Of Failure Now!' It will rewire your brain and help to make you impervious to the things that send shivers up your spine now. Get it now. You will be happy you did.

No comments: