This week I had a series of conversations that drove home
the absolute reality that there are clear differences
between the winners and losers in life.
I know some folks object to classifying people as winners
or losers, and of course no honest, hard-working person is
ever truly a "loser." I don't want to be mean or harsh
about that.
But facts are facts. Some people make better decisions, get
better results, achieve more and enjoy more happiness than
other people. And, the shocking thing is that we all know
it has nothing to do with talent, education, money, parents
or background. Sure, on the margins those things play a
small part, but we all know people who came to this country
with nothing and did well in every sense of the world. They
got an education, did work they enjoyed, earned a living
and raised a loving family. In short, starting from nothing
and with the odds against them, they did well. I call them
winners.
And others start with tons of apparent advantages in terms
of background, education, talent or whatever, and manage to
create lives of chaos, pain and frustration. I call them
losers because they never seem to figure out how to manage
their own lives.
This week, I talked with some amazing people who started
with little or nothing and found ways to make huge
differences in this world. I also talked with people who
were eager to tell me about the wonderful things they've
had in their lives, but they were asking for help because
they've pretty much messed it all up.
What are the differences? Many books have been written and
I suspect there is more to it that this, but let me list
four observations:
1. Winners live orderly lives. Losers seem to focus on
"bright, shiny objects" while winners seem more organized,
more structured. Losers seem more impulsive, while winners
are more likely to ponder, seek advice, ask experts, make
plans and build slowly. I suspect losers live faster, more
dramatic or exciting lives, and I suspect winners are
quieter, even somewhat boring people. You can go for drama
and excitement, or the satisfaction of success. Choose well.
2. Winners know themselves. Winners know the two or three
things they value. They know their priorities and are very
slow to change them. Losers seem more passionate and more
quixotic in their quest for the next big thing. They seem
to run hot-and-cold, flushed with excitement one moment,
disappointed the next, then quickly moving to something
new. Winners seem more stable, more focused, more reliable.
3. Winners read. I've noted this many times and I love the
quote that "those who do not read are no better off than
those who cannot read." I'm constantly struck that losers
don't have the time or patience to read, while winners
are constantly learning new things. They read history and
biography, novels, magazines, business and science fiction.
Winners learn from other people's experience and ideas.
Losers seem to reinvent the wheel every day.
4. Winners hang with winners. I believe it was Jim Rohn who
observed that "you are the average of the five people you
spend the most time with." Winners are picky about their
friends. They choose their associates -- friends and
colleagues, organizations and even neighborhoods -- very
carefully. Losers are more eclectic in their choices. They
may be more "inclusive" but it seems to distract them and
lower their results. Winners watch and learn from people
who are slightly ahead of them in terms of success.
There are hundreds of books, audio and video programs,
workshops, classes and conferences on the secrets to
success. What strikes me is not the differences or insights
from one program to another, but the profound difference in
who attends! The public library is open to everyone, but
only the few take advantage of it. The workshops are open
to all, but only about 4% of Americans attend even one
conference per year! You should be one of them.
Take charge and create the life you truly want. In many
ways, a successful life is far easier, simpler and vastly
more pleasant than a life of chaos and failure! Get where
it's good! Read what winners read! Do what winners do! This
is not difficult or mysterious. Go for the best!
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