Recently, a client did an incredibly courageous thing. She
announced she was abandoning a goal she and her family have
worked on for months. She's invested time and money. Her
family has been totally supportive and adjusted their
schedules and made sacrifices to help her launch her dream
of building a business around a new product she developed.
Last week, she announced, "I've changed my mind."
She wants to move in a new direction and do something very
different. People were surprised and confused. Family and a
few friends had worked hard, even invested some money, and
then out of the blue she announced, "Never mind."
In some cases, there was relief. She's blessed in that in
most people offered their support, but there is also an
understandable sense of "What are you doing???" There were
endless questions about "why" she would do that.
From working with her, I know at least part of the answer.
The market, the potential and the need for her product
haven't changed. I think she'll ultimately sell the idea
for a substantial profit. The problem was that SHE has
changed and with that, integrity demands she go in a new
direction.
As we grow, our values, our goals and dreams change, but
sometimes we fail to realize it and let others know. In
college, we choose a major but a few years later, the field
no longer interests or challenges us, but now we have a
career we can't abandon. In business, we set a goal and as
time goes by, we or the market or business conditions
change, but we see no way to set a new course.
People become trapped by their own dreams, and that's a
tragic thing.
There's an old joke that "when you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is stop digging!" But in real life,
that can be hard.
Over and over again, I see people "stuck" in jobs or
careers, in businesses or even marriages that no long serve
them, but they keep on "digging" because they can't stop.
They see "no way out." They feel they would be humiliated
or would lose "everything" if they changed course. Well, I
see it differently.
One bad habit many men (and women) have is that when we
fear we've taken a wrong turn or lost our way, we drive
faster! Rather than stop to ask directions, or turn around,
we simply hit the gas. In life, we "try harder." How silly
is that?
One of the smartest things you can do is to review your
goals every day. If the goal still suits you, re-visiting
it will motivate and excite you. It will remind you of your
priorities and keep you on track. That's why I encourage my
clients to write their goals on a 3x5 card every morning.
But there's a second advantage because you'll quickly
notice if your goals, your priorities or your direction in
life have changed. Clients describe the process in various
ways. Some tell me they just "don't want to" re-write their
goals, or they "don't have time." Or, they'll honestly
admit, "the words don't sound right anymore." That's one of
the most valuable things you can discover!
Sometimes, yesterday's goals no longer suit us. Sometimes,
we've changed our mind, or we've learned something that
demands a change. Sometimes, we've matured, or gotten a new
vision.
Now, obviously, sometimes we've simply gotten discouraged
or lost our nerve, and that's a different problem, but if
your goals have changed, have the courage to admit it,
analyze the situation and find a solution.
There might be some disappointment or confusion. Your
partners may feel let down or angry. Your family may be
hurt. Some may accuse you of being "unreliable" or
"inconsistent." But you, your most cherished partners, and
the world will be spared the heartache of watching you
chasing a goal after the passion has died.
Don't let yesterday's dreams become a trap! Regularly pause
to evaluate what you really want in life. Adjust your
direction and your daily routine to suit the "new you" and
move in the direction you truly want to go. A few people
might complain, or even call you "unreliable" but I
promise, in the long run you'll have a happier, richer, and
more successful life.
As summer ends and you gear up for a busy, productive and
joyous autumn, be sure you are pursuing goals that truly
matter.
announced she was abandoning a goal she and her family have
worked on for months. She's invested time and money. Her
family has been totally supportive and adjusted their
schedules and made sacrifices to help her launch her dream
of building a business around a new product she developed.
Last week, she announced, "I've changed my mind."
She wants to move in a new direction and do something very
different. People were surprised and confused. Family and a
few friends had worked hard, even invested some money, and
then out of the blue she announced, "Never mind."
In some cases, there was relief. She's blessed in that in
most people offered their support, but there is also an
understandable sense of "What are you doing???" There were
endless questions about "why" she would do that.
From working with her, I know at least part of the answer.
The market, the potential and the need for her product
haven't changed. I think she'll ultimately sell the idea
for a substantial profit. The problem was that SHE has
changed and with that, integrity demands she go in a new
direction.
As we grow, our values, our goals and dreams change, but
sometimes we fail to realize it and let others know. In
college, we choose a major but a few years later, the field
no longer interests or challenges us, but now we have a
career we can't abandon. In business, we set a goal and as
time goes by, we or the market or business conditions
change, but we see no way to set a new course.
People become trapped by their own dreams, and that's a
tragic thing.
There's an old joke that "when you find yourself in a hole,
the first thing to do is stop digging!" But in real life,
that can be hard.
Over and over again, I see people "stuck" in jobs or
careers, in businesses or even marriages that no long serve
them, but they keep on "digging" because they can't stop.
They see "no way out." They feel they would be humiliated
or would lose "everything" if they changed course. Well, I
see it differently.
One bad habit many men (and women) have is that when we
fear we've taken a wrong turn or lost our way, we drive
faster! Rather than stop to ask directions, or turn around,
we simply hit the gas. In life, we "try harder." How silly
is that?
One of the smartest things you can do is to review your
goals every day. If the goal still suits you, re-visiting
it will motivate and excite you. It will remind you of your
priorities and keep you on track. That's why I encourage my
clients to write their goals on a 3x5 card every morning.
But there's a second advantage because you'll quickly
notice if your goals, your priorities or your direction in
life have changed. Clients describe the process in various
ways. Some tell me they just "don't want to" re-write their
goals, or they "don't have time." Or, they'll honestly
admit, "the words don't sound right anymore." That's one of
the most valuable things you can discover!
Sometimes, yesterday's goals no longer suit us. Sometimes,
we've changed our mind, or we've learned something that
demands a change. Sometimes, we've matured, or gotten a new
vision.
Now, obviously, sometimes we've simply gotten discouraged
or lost our nerve, and that's a different problem, but if
your goals have changed, have the courage to admit it,
analyze the situation and find a solution.
There might be some disappointment or confusion. Your
partners may feel let down or angry. Your family may be
hurt. Some may accuse you of being "unreliable" or
"inconsistent." But you, your most cherished partners, and
the world will be spared the heartache of watching you
chasing a goal after the passion has died.
Don't let yesterday's dreams become a trap! Regularly pause
to evaluate what you really want in life. Adjust your
direction and your daily routine to suit the "new you" and
move in the direction you truly want to go. A few people
might complain, or even call you "unreliable" but I
promise, in the long run you'll have a happier, richer, and
more successful life.
As summer ends and you gear up for a busy, productive and
joyous autumn, be sure you are pursuing goals that truly
matter.
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